To feel unappreciated and a bit miffed.

Maybe he needed the money? Who knows?

Your care of his wife is its own reward.

I would feel miffed too of course but some people manage their money by writing down every penny they spend and keeping track of things ....and maybe that is important to them.......we will never know.

Thanks though for helping them out at a bad time........kindness is so generous. Happy New Year.

If I'd asked someone to bring me something, I would offer to pay for it. However, in the circumstances described, I would imagine reasonable people would refuse to take the money, at the same time expressing gratitude for the support given to them.

Some of the other stories on here show just how mean and hurtful some people can be.

Two friends of ours moved to the South of France years ago. One summer we were visiting them and the wife asked me to get her a pair of jeans from M&S. It wasn't a problem because I worked there and she gave me all the numbers off the label. I duly bought the jeans (had to order them, they were out of stock) packed them up and sent them off to France. A few weeks later she had split from her husband and gone off with someone else. No word of thanks - I don't even know if they arrived - and definitely no money. Still it showed me which one to side with in the divorce!

I think I would feel a bit miffed too considering your kindness.
Could it be that the friend brought back lots of different things for different people and just priced them up accordingly?

I once offered to share petrol costs and was charged 22p a mile. There were 3 of us in the car (me + driver and his wife) and I was so shocked I paid up. Since then I have given the wife many lifts but has she ever offered petrol help .........!

Of course it's not on and really mean but some people just don't get it and he's obviously one of these.

Just think that you did these kindnesses for her and not her socially inept husband.

Just let it go. Good to vent on here. Wonder if wife knows. It actually must be awful going through life being either mean or lacking social awareness.

I know that I would not actually do it but I would have felt like costing the meals and producing the bill. Some people are so mean.

I sometimes wonder about people! One of our neighbours had a stroke a couple of years ago. He wasn't too badly affected and was home in a couple of days. This couple have a large family who live nearby but, having been told not to drive (his wife doesn't drive), he had trouble some days getting to appointments as he said his children/grandchildren were working. We were chatting to them one day (my DH was being treated for cancer at the time so we knew only too well how difficult things were)and my DH told them if ever they needed a lift to and from appointments he would be only to happy to take them. He did this several times, taking and collecting them. A couple of months later this chap's wife told us that they were arranging a 70th birthday party for him. Were we invited? Were we heck. I was annoyed. Petty I know but I was.

Good idea to vent here.

Sorry thatbags forgot to say, the wife is improving but still far from well.

Yes just letting off steam, I can't really say anything in our circle of friends as everyone knows everyone else.

Gransnet's useful for letting the miffedness out.

Though with the example given, I think I'd feel a bit miffed as well. One of those just lap it up and say nowt moments life throws at one now and again.

I think sharing expenses like that is not unreasonable. What's unreasonable is not telling people in advance that they'll be expected to pay a proportion.

I think if you ask someone to buy something for you, you should expect to pay regardless of other things happening in your relationship with them.

No, not unreasonable at all to feel miffed. Some people are like that with money though. My DD was invited last year to a friend's second home in France. When she got home the 'friend' sent her a bill for DD's share of the holiday, even down to the cost of petrol used in various trips.

Certainly seems ungreatful. I wouldn't have had the cheek to ask. Let alone remind you.

I feel the same about D and her SO who are sleeping in the larger bedroom and have full use of S's large TV, Sky and xbox whilst he is relagated to the box room. They had the cheek to ask him to pay for his share of the takeaway they bought last night. (H and I were out)

PS and the 'thickness' isn't always their fault. Just saying. #autismaware

I expect the wife appreciated your efforts. Some people are just a bit thick socially.

Is she better, btw?

Ok so you owe the money, but it's a bit crass of this man isn't it, after all you have been doing for his wife.We live and learn.

I think you are right to be hurt Christine.