I am 65yrs old and my mother is just turned 93. She is a very very determined and independant old lady and can be very difficult. She also has macular degeneration but seems to have held on to her licence. She drives locally all the time and has never had an accident other than bumps on her car, but
I last drove with her as a passenger about 3 yrs ago and I was PETRIFIED! She drove her tiny Kia at 80mph down the motorway and when she took the East sliproad out on to the A30, not the West, she backed up the slip road and did a 3 point turn to get off. I got out of the car and was furious and thoroughly frightened. She told me I was a hysteric!
I am going down to visit her next week and unfortunately looks as if my DH will have to take the car for a couple of days and leave me without it. My mother wants us to have a day out to a small rural town in Devon about an hour from where she lives, which is also in a country area but involves some motorway driving.
I suggested that I drove her car when I came down as it was quite a long way , but she wouldnt have it at all and said it was her car and she would drive and anyway I wasnt insured to drive it. I think I am as I have my own insurance, although it would be 3rd party only; her car is not valuable so if in the very unlikely event I did have a prang it wouldn't be a disaster. and its already got loads of little dents!
I really dont want to drive with her again as a passenger and am thinking of making an excuse to visit her at a later date when I have my car. And even then, she is likely to say that we take her car and she will drive.
Am I being unreasonable or a coward !?
BlueBelle you are so right, I rest my case.
It may not help you immediately, but when we had a similar problem with my mum (younger, but had dementia) she would not listen to any of the family. Had she lived, she would be the same age as OP's mum and I think for that generation of women, the freedom represented by driving was a big factor in their lives.
We knew how my mum felt about stopping driving, and we got round it by suggesting that she had a driving assessment. Someone has suggested the IAM, we simply asked the mechanic who looked after her car, who she had known for abut 50 years since he was an apprentice.
She agreed to abide by his decision, and when out with him, did something quite dangerous, and somehow, with him, was much better able to face up to facts.
Blue Belle.
I am well aware of AMD as my mother has it! Certainly at my local hospital where she has her injections her sight is checked every time as it is routinely for every patient at the eye clinic. I am shocked that your dads hospital neglected to do this!
Of course its not the consultants, but specially trained technicians who perform the simple distance reading check!
If the OPs mums eyesight is below standard then she will be obliged to stop, but by all accounts that is not the case.
I am not sure what point you are making about a young disabled person. This lady's disability is very minor indeed. Many younger people drive with far more severe disabilities.
The OPs fear of her mothers driving is based on the one isolated occasion three years ago on a motorway. That is certainly no basis to try to get her banned!
I wonder how ready those of you who are keen to take this healthy and sharp witted womans drivign license off her would feel if YOUR children tried to stop you driving based solely on their judgment on just one motorway drive when perhaps you were agitated or distracted and drove badly, when you knew you still had your wits, and eyesight that meets the driving standard.
Note too:
she "has never had an accident other than bumps on her car"
These are presumably built up over many years if its an old car.
How many of you will have an accident free record when you quit?
www.gmc-uk.org/news/27477.asp
This is a link to the new guidance for doctors on reporting to the DVLA. It has been out for consultation but that finished in November 2016 and as far as I am aware has not yet been published.
Mair my mother has wet and dry AMD and in all her appointments she has never had an eyesight test for driving. No-one has ever asked if she drives (she doesn't) and I have been to all of them with her. She lives in Edinburgh.
I am amazed Elaine. Its clearly not the same in every trust in that case.
Just a thought, maybe nobody has asked her if she drives because at present her sight is good enough anyway?
Reading your post again, "she has never had an eyesight test for driving" , how do they know if her sight is deteriorating if they do not test it?
I wonder how ready those of you who are keen to take this healthy and sharp witted womans drivign license off her would feel if YOUR children tried to stop you driving based solely on their judgment on just one motorway drive when perhaps you were agitated or distracted and drove badly, when you knew you still had your wits, and eyesight that meets the driving standard.
If my adult child told me that they believed my driving was dangerous and/or that they wanted me to make sure that my eyesight was still good enough for driving, I would feel alarmed that they might have spotted changes that I had missed.
I would then arrange to have my eyesight tested, if it had not been done recently, and/or would arrange to have my driving assessed, perhaps by a driving instructor.
How would you feel, Mair, in that situation, and what would you do?
Me too FarNorth - if my children told me they were concerned about my driving safety I would certainly not ignore them. I would of course be heartily pissed off about not being able to drive, but that is neither here nor there.
Sometimes the young and old are the worst types of drivers. The old think that because they have been driving for a very long time that they are great drivers.
I was driving my DP (parent) around one day and I veered out to pass a cyclist. DP did not see why I moved out. Worrying but did not drive after that.
I have a DC (adult child) who passed their test only recently and they think that because they have just passed the test that they are the best driver. Like the OP's DM this young one belts along the motorway at 80/90. I find that terrifying! DC criticises my speed limit adherence and generally think I don't drive fast enough. I go with the speed limit and conditions for the road and weather
I was with a friend of my own age whose car was in the garage. Not one single complaint. Even the EXH had been in my car without a moan!
It is all relative to the individual, the car and the road conditions.
SPF
I live rurally and it pisses me off the number of elderly people driving very slowly (slower than a tractor!), hovering across the white line, not indicating when they turn etc.
Yes, they want to stay independent and go into town to do their shopping but what about the other road users and pedestrians?
Some months ago I followed a car being driven extremely erratically. The elderly female driver stopped the car at a 45 degree angle in the middle of the road for about ten seconds and then began driving again. She did this 3 times. I was following slowly because I was driving the same route home. After the third time, I rang the guards (police) to report her giving the car details and then she drove another couple of miles and pulled into an empty car park outside a small woodland park. I had to get back to school to collect my son so I didn't hang around.
Luckily, we encountered very few cars on that particular road that afternoon and the nearest town was about 8 miles away.
Another time, I stopped to help an older lady who had crashed into a ditch. She had several unsecured dogs in the car so I don't know if they distracted her but there was no other car involved and no obvious reason for her to have driven into the ditch.
Unfortunately, there's very limited bus services rurally other than the dial a bus type service and no taxis so some people feel that driving is a necessity but at what price?
Anyone who backs up a slip road on a motorway should definitely not be driving regardless of age. That's just an incredibly stupid manoeuvre and shows they lack awareness.
Anyone who backs up a slip road on a motorway should definitely not be driving regardless of age
It is bad yet I think if a younger person did it you would not suggest they should be prevented driving. Even if the police caught them it would probably be points and a fine. I presume that at the time this lady did it the road was quiet.
Your complaints about elderly people driving slowly in your rural area, harming nobody, suggests to me an impatience in you which hints that you might not be among the best of drivers yourself! Like the OPs mum maybe - girl racer.
Badenkate "Oh gosh, Araabra I'd forgotten the Swindon roundabout. I lived around there when they built it and we used to call it the Magic Roundabout."
Aren't 3 or 4 called "Magic Roundabout"? Those big roundabouts with the little roundabouts embedded require some skill. If mum can navigate a Magic Roundabout, she can surely continue driving 
I am with you Mair . Ageist and OTT remarks backed up with "She may be a danger to other road users" . I would be more afraid of getting in a car with an 18 yr old cocky new driver . The OP has decided to cancel her trip until she ha her own transport so problem solved .
Mair you have twisted my post I DID MY NOT say my dad s did not have his sight checked every time he attended of course he did what I said was he wasn't asked or told not to drive.... at 92 and with only half his sight Ieft in one eye I m presuming they didn't expect him to be driving Had he have said to them Am I safe to drive he would have been given the negatives answer perhaps this lady has purposely never asked
You brush off she just has minor disabilities how on earth do you know are you her ? Topsy says her mother is very FRAIL has VERY limited mobility in her shoulder and neck and MD at a stage where she is having injections ( very expensive they are too) she has numerous dents in her car from bumps and is obviously quite bloody minded and stubborn a great combination for being on the road
Your defensive passion is admirable but common sense needs to reign
If she is having injections then she has the wet form of AMD which is a faster deterioration that the dry kind.
You could call the clinic where she is having treatment and raise your concerns.
The driving guidelines say that someone must have 6/12 vision in both eyes. If her vision is below that limit then her ophthalmologist should be advising her not to drive. Consultants can contact the DVLA to revoke driving licenses but most are reluctant to do so.
Does she get letters from the clinic - perhaps you could see what her latest vision results are?
franjess
That is incorrect you may still be able to drive if you only have one eye or sight loss in one eye This is provided that: the DVLA is satisfied that you have sufficient sight in your other eye.
Nothing the OP has said suggests her mother has any substantial sight loss. My own mother with AMD still has excellent vision thanks to the drugs she is receiving and only one eye is affected anyway. It may well be the same for the OPS mother.
franjess I have AMD and I have 6/12 vision in one eye. In the other it is 2/12 and that varies. The DVLA are well aware and I still drive. Your comment is wrong.
Bluebell says:
Topsy says her mother is very FRAIL has VERY limited mobility in her shoulder and neck and MD at a stage where she is having injections she has numerous dents in her car from bumps
I repeat.
Fraility NOT a reason not to drive
Limited shoulder mobility, provided sh can turn enough to look left and right not an issue. Many disabled people with far far worse mobility not only drive but get given free cars!
Dents in car. The OP also says
she hasnt actually had an accident other than bumps to the car, which I am guilty of too!
Small parking bumps in a car are certainly NOT a reason to stop someone driving and you wouldnt dream of demanding a younger personn gave up because of this!
Youre making judgements about this lady based purely on her age!
Imagine if someone was advocating banning a poor driver who was foreign based on such flimsy evidence, or a man wanting to ban a woman driver based on his judgement of bad driving skills!
Listen to yourselves!
You wouldnt dare come out with this twaddle if it was a young disabled woman about whose driving a poster had concerns.
Where is your humanity? It would RUIN the quality of this feisty old birds life if she couldnt drive!
It might ruin her quality of life, but unsafe drivers certainly ruined the lives of all the head injured patients I worked with.
This is not an age issue - it is about getting dangerous drivers off the road whatever their age.
The casual approach to road safety that some posters have demonstrated is precisely why this continues to be a problem.
but unsafe drivers certainly ruined the lives of all the head injured patients I worked with
And most were not old people and most are probably back driving!
If you want to campaign against bad driving you should be calling for either much tougher initial tests or retests for everyone perhaps every ten years. Then you have to decide what happens if you fail, hhow many retries do you get, do you get a teemporary ban?
To target ONLY elderly 'bad drivers' is ageist. And the evidence against this woman is extremely flimsy anyway, based mainly on one bad event.
I resent your accusations of a 'casual approach to road safety' Luckygirl, it is a case of getting a sensible balance of risk against the need and right of individuals to decent transport, which public transport certainly doesnt offer, and nor do all cab drivers offer a safe driving experience either, by no means!
Youre trying to justify ageist discrimination on the basis of false notions of risk.
Apologies for not stating it clearly
You need to have at least 6/12 vision in one with a full visual field
Mair - to repeat my post above:
"This is not an age issue - it is about getting dangerous drivers off the road whatever their age."
I have said that several times on this thread, but I am not getting through!!
It just so happens that the particular dangerous driver in the OP is 93. My response would have been identical if she was 18.
Have you got this now!!!????
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