my 93 yr old mother insists on driving !

The car insurance is an important part of this problem.
You have an obligation to tell your insurance company about illness if it might have any impact on your driving. They decide if they will insure you then. If you have not told them and you subsequently have an accident they can refuse to cover you which could mean expensive legal claims against you.
When signing to take out car insurance this is what you agree to. It's not just eyesight, all sorts of operations and medical procedures preclude you from driving, some just for a short time. E.g. Husband had his cataracts done and was told not to drive for 4 weeks until he had final check from the Doctor. If you have a hysterectomy you should not drive for 6 weeks I believe.
You also have an obligation to tell the DVLA yourself about any limitations to your abilities and of course this is what people do not want to do.
As a relative you could contact the appropriate Car insurance company or at least check there is a policy. My bottom line is what would I feel if my child or relative was hit by an unfit driver?

Perhaps you could do what my mother did.
When my father needed a medical certificate for his insurance she went to the doctor and said that she would "hold him personally responsible for any killings and accidents my father would have". Needless to say, his certificate wasn't renewed!
Good luck.

I would go with one of the two good suggestions others have made: either put off your visit until you have your own car or hire a car for the visit.

Either way, refuse to be the passenger if her driving frightens you. She might be an old lady but she has no right to be a bully - which is what she's doing. We know why she's doing it, but ask her how she'd feel if the boot was on the other foot!

You do have a choice as to whether you get in your Mum's car - I know it is difficult with family, but you have a right to self-preservation! It might be best to just be firm - tell her it is not up for discussion; it is your choice and you have made it!

It just so happens that the particular dangerous driver in the OP is 93. My response would have been identical if she was 18

Have you got this now!!!????

Sorry but I dont think youre being truthful and I dont think youd be encouraging the OP to try to get her banned if she were a mildly disabled 18 year old.

My bottom line is what would I feel if my child or relative was hit by an unfit driver?

Just as unhappy as if they were hit by a fit driver, which is far more likely.

However this woman IS fit enough and alert. If she wasnt 93 nobody would be inciting the OP to get her banned.

Well - what can I say? What we be the point of me posting something that was not truthful?

There are different ways of being fit or unfit to drive and a refusal of a 93 year old to recognise her limitations is the similar to an 18 year old misjudging how well they can drive when drunk, for example.

In neither situation would it be sensible to drive.

I didn't understand how the three point turn got your mum off the motorway, tt. As I understand it, she took the wrong slip road off a motorway so backed up and did a three point turn but it's not clear where she "backed up" (on the slip road or on the A30) nor where she did the three point turn. I'm presuming, though my muddled understanding (sorry!) that she did a three point turn on the A30 and got back onto the motorway so that she could carry on and take the correct slip road off it further along.

It's still not making sense to me, I'm afraid. Sorry, again! Are you saying that she shouldn't have done a three point turn on an A road?

Sorry if I've got it all wrong. I just don't understand the story.

It's horrible being a terrified passenger.

My mother was unfit to drive but could not recognise the fact herself - luckily she had to go into hospital for a planned procedure and my brother decided to "look after the car" and never returned it. She still went on about it despite advanced dementia - she was demanding the keys back just a couple of weeks before her death despite being bed and wheelchair bound - she just thought she would be OK to drive.

OP - this must be a big worry for you - I would suggest that you check that it is still OK for her to drive if you think that there is a risk that she hasn't reported her condition or that doctors are unaware that she is still driving. If they say it is OK - well at least you can take some reassurance

1.GP - call GP and say you are worried about her and just checking she is OK to drive

2. Insurance - which insurance company does she use and has she reported her condition to her insurance - if not she may be driving uninsured if she has neglected to mention this.

3. DVLA - has she reported the eyesite issue when she renews her driving licence every three years? if her macular degeneration affects both eyes it must be reported to the DVLA - according to the government website

..................................................................................
www.gov.uk/macular-degeneration-and-driving

If macular degeneration affects both eyes

You must tell DVLA if macular degeneration affects both your eyes.

You can either report your condition online or fill in form V1 and send it to DVLA. The address is on the form.
...........................................................

I think the OP says her mum backed up and did a three point turn on the slip road, which sounds OK to me if there was no other traffic...perhaps I'm unfit to drive as well!

(PS I realise it may well be an illegal manoeuvre)

But you can't go back onto a motorway from an OFF slip road. Well, you physically could by driving onto the hard shoulder first, I suppose, as if you had broken down.

So is the OP saying her mother drove the wrong way (after a three point turn) on a one way, motorway slip road in order to get back on the mootorway? That's what's puzzling me.

If that is what the 93 yo did then I'm not surprised the OP was petrified.

It's not clear at what exact point the OP got out of the car. Was it in the Mway slip road or on the A30? Presumably she got back in again.

The story does not hang together well. This could be me just not understanding so I'd be grateful for a clear, point by point account so that I could visualise what actually happened. At present I can't.

I didn't understand how the three point turn got your mum off the motorway, tt. As I understand it, she took the wrong slip road off a motorway so backed up and did a three point turn but it's not clear where she "backed up" (on the slip road or on the A30) nor where she did the three point turn. I'm presuming, though my muddled understanding (sorry!) that she did a three point turn on the A30 and got back onto the motorway so that she could carry on and take the correct slip road off it further along.

OP says it was driving out onto the motorway that she did this dangerous manouvre

I assumed that OP's mum was driving out onto the A30 using the slip road and realized/was told it was wrong but instead of driving to the next junction she backed up the sliproad against traffic and then did a 3-point turn therefore driving the wrong way on a one way sliproad until she got back to the roundabout/junction at the top.

BTW, if the manouevre and the backing up took place on the slip road (why both? surely you would, if you were mad enough, either back up OR do a three point turn?), what has the A30 got to do with anything?

I thought the driver was driving OFF the motorway. OP says "too slip road out onto the A30".

Oh, wait! I think I get what you mean, cold. Wish I had a picture of the junction in question.

I am also very confusedd by this story:

{She was driving} down the motorway and when she took the East sliproad out on to the A30, not the West, she backed up the slip road and did a 3 point turn to get off.

You wouldnt have both an east and west slipway exiting the motorway on the same side would you?

That's what I thought, although I'm not familiar with the area in question.

Having reconsidered, of course you couldn't do a u-turn on the slip road and get back on the motorway - I may well not pass the theory test these days!

No. And if it's the A30 in Devon off the M5, then the A30 east junction and the A30 west. junction are miles apart, or so it seems when I look at Googlemaps.

Might be somewhere else, of course. A30 is not a road I know.

But backing up, three point turn, and getting out of the car on a motorway slip road. WHAT!? Really? It certainly sounds bonkers enough to steal and hand in someone's driving licence, or at least to report them.

If it was really that bad, tt, why haven't you told the police? Or have you?

You wouldnt have both an east and west slipway exiting the motorway on the same side would you?

You can have this at some intersections - a junction signed A30 east and then a mile or so up the road the A30 west

Whatever happened, it sounds to me as if tt should be telling this story to the police, not us. Telling the police would mean one had done one's duty by other road users. And the next step, if the police decided mum was still fit to drive, would be to refuse to get into a car mum was driving.

Surely the telling the police thing is obvious, no?

Actually, if what I can visualise of the story is what happened, then I'm amazed no other driver called the police.

All of you twittering on about ageism and moaning about younger drivers, just ask yourself how you would feel if your grandchild was seriously injured by this lady driving into a bus queue, or if your DH was killed in the pile up caused by her doing a 3 point turn on a motorway slip road? Sorry OP, I know this is tricky as I have a Mother who has just stopped driving at 85, but you have to get together with your brother and sister and insist that she no longer drives. Her temper is surely easier to live with than a grieving family, and possible court cases/financial ruin as you find out that she is uninsured. Being 93 DOES NOT give anyone permission to break safety rules, however inconvenient it is for them. Maybe point out how many taxis she can pay for with the car costs she will save.

GIll

This lady has an accident free record. She is healthy and sharp. Her children have absolutely no right to 'insist' she stops driving.

Thank goodness youre not a magistrate! Eek! (Well I hope not).

NOBODY is absolutely safe driving. Any one of us could kill someone due to a stupid error on a bad day. We do not even know whhat this slip road incident was, and I have seen plenty of younger drivers do bad things and get away with it.

"She drove her tiny Kia at 80mph down the motorway and when she _took the East sliproad out on to the A30, not the West), she backed up the slip road and did a 3 point turn to get off. I got out of the car and was furious and thoroughly frightened. She told me I was a hysteric!"

She wanted to go west, took the wrong sliproad, and baked up the sliproad doing a 3 point turn to get off the sliproad (in the wrong direction). I would want her license pulled.

Wikipedia: The three-point turn (sometimes called a Y-turn, K-turn, or broken U-turn) is the standard method of turning a vehicle around to face the opposite direction in a limited space, using forward and reverse gears. This is typically done when the road is too narrow for a U-turn.

The basic manoeuvre consists of driving across the road turning towards the offside kerb, reversing across the road to the original nearside kerb while turning, and driving forward towards the original offside kerb, now the nearside. In a narrow road or with a longer vehicle, more than three legs may be required to achieve a full 180 degree rotation.

Trying again.

I think this may be 2 sentences.

"She drove her tiny Kia at 80mph down the motorway" (full stop, complete thought)

" and when she took the East sliproad out on to the A30, not the West," "she backed up the slip road and did a 3 point turn to get off."

I think mum wanted to go west, took the wrong sliproad, and baked up the sliproad doing a 3 point turn to get off the sliproad (in the wrong direction).

I would want her license revoked. Potentially saving lives.