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Woman refused a divorce by court.

(99 Posts)
tanith Fri 24-Mar-17 18:34:36

To think this is really unreasonable? I don't understand why a court would think its ok to force someone to remain in a marriage of 39yrs when she is clearly very unhappy and wants out.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 18:38:26

I do think that they have to stick to the rules - the husband doesn't agree to a divorce so she'll have to wait until they've been separated for five years as she has no other grounds.

tanith Fri 24-Mar-17 18:40:48

I suppose they do Ana but it seems very unfair given their ages.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 18:45:14

But it would be unfair to the husband, surely, if the Court had agreed to the divorce? Very sad all round though, I agree.

Iam64 Fri 24-Mar-17 19:01:44

A horrible situation. I understand the legal complexity given the husband is opposed to the divorce but it seems cruel and I can't see it as "justice" to respond to her divorce petition in this way.
I wonder if she could argue the marriage has irretrievably broken down on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour - in not recognising the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

I feel for this woman, all those years married and wanting a divorce at 66. Surely she should be able to live the rest of her years without being locked into a marriage that is loveless and makes her miserable.

Iam64 Fri 24-Mar-17 19:02:44

Just heard the news, her attempt to divorce was based on "unreasonable behaviour" and the court found it wasn't unreasonable enough. Oh dear!

Lisalou Fri 24-Mar-17 19:08:36

Thing is, poor lady, at her age, she is likely to "give up". If she has to wait five years she may just think the system has failed her.

Indinana Fri 24-Mar-17 19:36:57

Another problem may well be that she is financially unable to leave her husband in order to begin the necessary 5 year separation. Without a decree absolute she would not be able to force the sale of the marital home which would provide her with the wherewithal to set up home elsewhere. She may not be able to leave without this. Unless she has a considerable pension in her own right, or other personal funds, how would she be able to afford to buy or rent elsewhere? I don't think she would be allowed to claim any benefits such as income support or housing benefit if she has simply made herself homeless.

tanith Fri 24-Mar-17 19:42:53

Indinana He is a multi-millionaire, they made a fortune during the marriage with a mushroom growing business. They have 5 homes and she has been living apart from him for two years in one of their jointly owned homes. I think she is fully able to support herself, she may even want to remarry before its too late. It just seems very sad that she can't enjoy the rest of her days happily however she chooses to.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 19:51:23

Blimey, I didn't know that tanith although I did read your link.

I'm sure she can enjoy the next three years of her life well enough until she has proper grounds for divorce. What a non-story!

Jalima Fri 24-Mar-17 20:12:27

I don't understand why he would refuse except through spite. The fact that he will not agree when she is desperately unhappy sounds like grounds for divorce for unreasonable behaviour.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 20:22:20

Sorry Jalima but I think that's daft.

There have to be certain grounds which constitute 'unreasonable behaviour', otherwise either party could claim grounds because he/she wouldn't put the bins out or wouldn't put the toilet seat down...

Indinana Fri 24-Mar-17 20:24:16

I too read your link tanith but hadn't realised that! Well it now doesn't seem that sad I'm afraid. She can just get on with her new life on her own. What's the problem?

Anniebach Fri 24-Mar-17 20:25:04

And if she has someone lined up ready to take her husbands place ? She isn't financially dependant in her husband, doesn't have to have much contact with him, possibly he knows someone is waiting to get their hands on the money,

tanith Fri 24-Mar-17 20:29:54

I read it on a different link Indinana, I really don't see why her being financially independent should make any difference to the fact that she can't divorce someone who clearly makes her miserable without his say so.

Jalima Fri 24-Mar-17 20:30:43

Never thought of that, but then she has earned her half of the money so I think she can do with it what she likes.

If he has made her life as miserable as she says he has he was "insensitive" in his "manner and tone" and said she was "constantly mistrusted" and felt unloved., she has moved out and lived apart I think that would be unreasonable behaviour in my book.

It sounds like a cold and sterile marriage and he sounds like a vengeful man.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 20:46:36

Yes, but if they're living apart and she has plenty of money to live on, why is she so desperate to divorce him? How exactly is he making her life a misery? confused

tanith Fri 24-Mar-17 20:56:02

Ana I don't understand how you cannot see how dreadful it can be to be tied to someone you don't love and who may take every opportunity to make your life difficult. What the hell difference does money make to being miserable and unable to move on.

vampirequeen Fri 24-Mar-17 20:59:39

It's to do with control. He knows she wants a divorce and he knows he can withhold agreement so he is.

If karma exists he'll die within the next 3 years and she'll inherit everything.

Faye Fri 24-Mar-17 21:26:09

I was quite shocked to read this woman can't get a divorce. I think the laws regarding divorce need to change. In Australia since 1975 you only need to be separated for one year to be able to get a no fault divorce. It seems archaic that a judge can decide whether this woman should be allowed to divorce or not.

Anniebach Fri 24-Mar-17 21:36:54

But you are asuming she is telling the truth and he is the baddie, perhaps he is, perhaps she will get far more in a divorce settlement than she has now, perhaps he doesn't believe in divorce. A friend of mine who did not believe in divorce refused to agree to one and they waited five years. i don't understand why she wants a divorce , if wealthy she can live on her own, perhaps she fears he will divorce her for desertion or adultery, could affect the divorce settlement

nina1959 Fri 24-Mar-17 21:49:33

Follow the money.

rosesarered Fri 24-Mar-17 21:54:14

My DD left her DH, he would not agree to a divorce, so she simply left him and waited for five years.She had no contact at all with him in that time frame, got on with her life.It hardly mattered to her that she couldn't have a divorce for five years, as the main thing to her was getting him out of her life.

GillT57 Fri 24-Mar-17 22:05:36

As I understand it, in the UK the only grounds for divorce are irretrievable breakdown. This breakdown can be defined as cruelty, desertion (2 years mutual, 5 years one party only), adultery. Sadly it would appear that legally these conditions did not apply.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 22:07:25

Exactly, roses. How is it so terrible to be tied to someone by marriage if you have the means to get away and make a life for yourself?

Sorry, tanith, at first I did feel very sorry for the woman, but I don't now I know the true circumstances.