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AIBU

Nippy mother

(39 Posts)
Flowerofthewest Wed 03-May-17 13:06:58

Handbags at dawn. How childish. Playground sniping. Just go your own ways

Luckygirl Wed 03-May-17 13:05:21

Stay out of it - just be polite when you see her, but engage in nothing further. In the final analysis it matters not one whit what she might think about you and, as you say, you need to concentrate on your DGD and revel in the joy of being such an important part of her life.

meandashy Wed 03-May-17 13:02:16

I've never before had an acquaintance that needed regularly reassuring as to whether we've fallen out elegran. This is something I have no experience with and have no clue how to deal with.
Maybe I didn't react favourably by saying not this again but without going into great detail things are more stressful than they've ever been & the last thing I needed was a problem where there wasn't one.
I had spoken with her the day before, we'd arranged to meet for coffee, hardly the actions of someone who's fallen out with someone.
I've definitely learnt a lesson. Thanks for your honesty gransnetters ?

Elegran Wed 03-May-17 12:53:33

Let it go, then.

meandashy Wed 03-May-17 12:52:11

I'm not in the habit of falling out with people. Most of my friends are long standing, oldest friendship is 40+ yrs.
I have asked her why and she's choosing not to explain.
I need all my energy for dgd, not playground politics

Elegran Wed 03-May-17 12:50:37

Perhaps she too feels that, " It's draining tiptoeing around someone in case you say something they could misconstrue." and between you a molehill has been turned into a mountain?

thatbags Wed 03-May-17 12:18:09

Perhaps she thinks you are a rather upsettable type and thinks she has to tiptoe around you.

meandashy Wed 03-May-17 11:31:30

'Discussing the first'..... stupid auto correct!

meandashy Wed 03-May-17 11:30:07

I did elegran.
When I asked why she felt like this she didn't have an explanation. It's draining tiptoeing around someone in case you say something they could misconstrue.
After the first incident she accused me of discussing the it with a friend of mine who then blocked her on fb! None of that happened!

Elegran Wed 03-May-17 11:16:47

So tell her you aren't upset with HER, just a bit botheted by things with your granddaughter!

meandashy Wed 03-May-17 11:09:37

I just cannot see what or why she thinks I'm upset! I had arranged coffee with her the day before so was completely baffled.
I really am having a hard time with dge and had shared this with her.
I think you're right tanith I'm going to keep myself to myself.

Elegran Wed 03-May-17 11:01:04

You sounded fairly nippy yourself, meanashy when you responded "NOT THIS AGAIN!!" to being asked whether she had upset you (again) after your "having it out with her" over an earlier FB post which may indeed have been nothing to do with you. Are you normally so volatile?

The previous episode was months ago and had been sorted out, but if she felt you were still sensitive about it, maybe she was just making sure that all was well between you? Perhaps a better answer might have been "No, you have done nothing. It is just circumstances."

tanith Wed 03-May-17 10:52:00

hmm all sounds very infantile to me why not keep yourself to yourself and don't get involved in childish school playground politics. politics.

meandashy Wed 03-May-17 10:39:23

I walk to school with a mother most days. We've become friendly but not best friends. She's a similar age (I'm 44 & grandma, she's late 40's & a mum).
A few months ago I noticed an atmosphere between us. This started after I struck up a friendship with another mum at the school.
Mum no 1 posted a scathing attack on fb clearly aimed at me so the next day I had it out with her. She claimed she thought she'd upset me & the fb rant wasn't about me. It was all very infantile! I told her very clearly if I had something to say I'm more than capable of doing so. I thought that was the end & things went back to normal.
Last week I was having a really tough time with dgd. She knew this. I sent a text saying I wasn't going to the school fri & I'd see her this week, just out of courtesy.
Her response was 'have I upset you & dd?'
I was incredulous! I replied NOT THIS AGAIN!! Clearly you don't know me!
I haven't been at the school since but she has obviously blanked my dd who openly said hello, & mum no2 who are nothing at all to do with any of this!
Aibu to have this out with her??
I have done nothing at all to provoke this reaction from her. She's paranoid beyond belief.