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Kids having kids & unproteced sex

(158 Posts)
norose4 Sat 20-May-17 16:57:13

With more knowledge & access to birth control, what do Gransnetters think of the increasing numbers of young girls getting pregnant & not knowing which man (boy)may be the father & are often the result of one night stands & who then go on to repeat the process, sometimes again & again,has society let them down by somehow sending out the wrong message & woman's lib has somehow backfired?

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:30:50

Yes Iam64 I agree , if you have read my subsequent posts, you will read that I have said it was my first thread & I didn't properly think out how I worded it or what I was trying to say. My mistake , but I have since said that what really saddens me is that we still hear about youngish girls being deserted by young men when their is a baby on the way & that despite precautions being readily available we still have a lot of deserted pregnant girls we often don't know by their own admittance who the father is

sunseeker Sat 20-May-17 18:26:52

I think I understand the point norose is trying to make. With programmes like Kyle and some media reports there can be an appearance of an increase in teen pregnancies, despite the statistics proving otherwise.

I do think she raises a valid point that some young women do not appear to be taking sufficient precautions to prevent pregnancy. Yes, I know it takes two but unfortunately the male often disappears and the girl is left literally holding the baby. Young people have always had sex, it is just they no longer hide the fact. I know sex education is taught in schools but perhaps the teachers among you can let me know whether it is also taught that sex is not mandatory, that just because a boy takes a girl out for a night she doesn't have to sleep with him. It appears sex has replaced the goodnight kiss!

mumofmadboys Sat 20-May-17 18:25:16

Don't be put off norose! Continue to post. Generally it Is a very friendly site but one needs to be prepared to discuss and see things from different angles. Welcome!

Iam64 Sat 20-May-17 18:18:57

Your OP could be read as judgemental and inaccurate, there aren't increasing numbers of young girls getting pregnant. Those of us who worked supporting you parents will confirm that it isn't common for girls/women not to know who the father of their unborn baby is. The girls/women I knew who fell into that category either had learning difficulties or were abusing drugs or alcohol. Many fell into all three categories and that added to their vulnerability to being sexually exploited.

I don't see how ' women's lib' contributed in any way to the concerns you express. It's more likely to be linked to poverty of aspiration, poor education, lack of good enough parenting .

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:11:49

Yes I wrongly titled it kids having kids which was a mistake in hindsight,in my defence this is my first thread, which I should have worded better, but I mistakenly thought it was a friendly site, I was mistaken,

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 18:08:46

It all concerns me Trisher , but mostly I think that young girls seem to mimick the life styles of some very well off celebrities , & that the suffragettes & woman's lib fought for our rights etc.only for it to young woman still being used & abused by some young men who take what's on offer & run for the hills when a baby is on the way & sometimes these woman can't remember who they last slept with, without taking precautions

Riverwalk Sat 20-May-17 18:01:56

Indeed no one is forcing me - in your OP you asked what Gransnetters think and I responded.

trisher Sat 20-May-17 18:01:54

So what really worries you norose4 Is it young women having sex? You posted as "Kids having kids" which seems to indicate underage girls rather than young women. Teenage pregnancies are dropping but of course that may not continue. There are girls brought up in poverty with little affection who fill the gap in their lives with first sex and then a baby. It is sad that they are reduced to this and that they have such low esteem. It's nothing to do with women's lib and everything to do with poverty and low esteem.
Of course there are other young women who actually enjoy sex take precautions and have multiple partners by choice. If that is their lifestyle choice and they are happy with it I see no reason to object.
One could also ask why there are men (some of them not so young) who are prepared to father children to many different women. Or is that different?

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:57:12

Roses usual are prickly Durhamjen!

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:55:44

Apart from my misuse of the word increasing. Which if you had read all my comments you would have by now understood the subject which I was clumsily trying to raise. No one is forcing you to join in RIverwalk

durhamjen Sat 20-May-17 17:53:36

You are very prickly, rose.
I agree with others that you started the thread with an unsubstantiated claim. Nothing wrong with being challenged on it.

Ana Sat 20-May-17 17:53:01

I do think that social media has a lot to answer for - selfies and phone sex, none of which were around in the 60s/70s of course.

Riverwalk Sat 20-May-17 17:51:31

It's not heavy-handed to point out that your claim is without foundation and that teenage pregnancies in the UK are on the decrease.

I don't know why you can't admit you were wrong in your assertions.

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:46:56

RIverwalk I am not in a court of law,nor have I been required to take a degree in Gransnet etiquette , you will just put posters off with your heavy handed attitude !

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:44:05

Yes Penstemmon, I agree , that's what I meant really there are still so many girls believing they have to be sexy , available etc that I wondered really why despite woman's lib & equal rights etc.there are still young woman believing this.

Riverwalk Sat 20-May-17 17:41:57

You made a claim about increasing numbers of teenage pregnancies, not just raised the topic.

It wasn't about shopping trolleys, cake baking or Pippa's dress -
if you make an unsubstantiated claim about a serious topic you should expect to be challenged.

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:37:08

That's good to hear Kittysletter, although sad she lost her job!

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:35:36

RIverwalk why would you expect that, I thought, obviously wrongly according to you, that one was able to raise a topic without having a degree on the matter,I have put up a thread about abandoned shopping trolleies , without doing a survey!!!

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:32:27

No RIverwalk there are quite a proportion in the area wher I live.They don't work & get priority re housing etc , which is an observation not a criticism

kittylester Sat 20-May-17 17:30:41

I have a friend who worked in the area of teenage sexual health and was deemed to have been so successful that she was made redundant! confused

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:29:33

Yes I agree I didn't actually mean increasing ,what I really meant was the casual attitude to multiple unprotected sex , when we have so much information & contraception available, where as my poor old great granny, mother of 11 children said , that when the old man came home drunk & you lived in two bedroom tied cottage you didn't have much say in the matter!

Riverwalk Sat 20-May-17 17:28:08

So you base your knowledge of teenage pregnancy rates on the Jeremy Kyle show? hmm

I would expect a grandmother to be better informed.

Penstemmon Sat 20-May-17 17:24:40

norose4 you can raise any topic you like! I was just wondering what prompted your query.

I think your belief that there are "increasing numbers" is mistaken. However it is usually a sad situation if a young woman becomes pregnant as a result of casual/careless sex an dos not know who has fathered the child. Sad because it suggests that the young woman has poor self respect/esteem and sees sex as a substitute for care and love.
Young women do get pregnant unexpectedly in long term and loving relationships too...

norose4 Sat 20-May-17 17:22:10

And probably more about casual sex & multiple partners, perhaps I Haven't thought the subject through properly ! There is obviously a correct way to introduce a subject which should include statistics rather than observations

suzied Sat 20-May-17 17:19:13

I don't think those who appear on Jeremy Kyle are typical of their age group.They are only on for their shock value.