Problems which are not problems

I am glad you are not mad at me, Gillybob. I appreciate that Serkeen can't be expected to know what annsixty is going through - in fact I was agreeing with her that we can only know what people tell us either in their posts or their profile. Thing is, Serkeen just assumed that Ann was only having one bad day and was critical of her asking if anyone else with real serious problems in their lives was pissed off by some with minor problems. The words "real serious problems" should have got through.

Yes, it's me. Hi, gillybob ?. I did explain why I have a new name. It's not important now. And Baggs is hardly a disguise

Is that you thatbags? I wondered if you were new but then.....

I am very slow on the uptake.

And then GN is used for light relief, as a kind of necessary escapism.

Also, some of us are simply more reserved than others. Not talking about troubles in our lives that really are significant and not frivolous doesn't mean we don't have troubles.

I've only read the OP so far and the two posts that immediately follow. In answer to the OP, there's a lot of stuff on GN that I think tedious and over the top. If I come across it and don't want it to affect me, I move on and read something else.

Frivolous and insignificant are very personal judgments. Something that feels frivolous to one person may be making quite an impact on someone else and, therefore, not feel insignificant to them at all.

Perhaps your own problems deplete your sympathy reserves, ann (not a criticism) or perhaps you just aren't a very empathic person (also not a criticism). Don't feel you need to stop posting on GN because of what you said. We're all different in the virtual world just as we are in the real world.

I look at couples in their seventies and eighties and think "that should've been my mum and dad". Why after a hard working life did my mum have to become so ill and die at only 74? My mum and dad should've been enjoying their time together.

Life really isn't fair sometimes is it?

In which case I apologise to her unreservedly. I must've picked it up wrong. Thank you for pointing it out kittylester

Ann - I do understand this. I look at others sharing their lives/retirement in a meaningful way and having fun, and sometimes I do feel resentful as this is virtually impossible with my OH's illness. Our lives are very curtailed.

Feeling resentful about it is only human, and that is all we are. I have star6ted seeing a counsellor and she has helped me to get it all in perspective and not to ever feel guilty when resentment creeps in round the edges.

Think what you might say to a friend who felt guilty about these emotions - I suspect you might be kinder to a friend than you are to your yourself!

Take care
xx

Before jumping in and having a go at Ann (albeit a minor go) a little thought about what might be going on in someone's life to make them feel like that might be a good idea.

Elegran was being fair in my opinion.

Awwwww come on Elegran that is a little unfair to Serkeen and not like you at all as you are always so balanced and fair. How can she be expected to have known what annsixty is going through?

This can't be just a forum of sadness and serious problems can it? Whilst we appreciate some of us have much more serious problems than others, I think the forums are a great place of support for one another and wonderful advice (and my goodness I have benefited from this) there does need to be a balance with a bit of triviality and a little giggle thrown in every now and again.

annsixty

mawbroon your post @11:21 - completely uncalled for!

I was also born before WW2 Tricia it is that which is making me realise time is running out for me and I can't do all the things I still want to. Sadly I feel resentful and that is an awful way to feel.
Guilt is my middle name.

There's another thread at the moment about not having any close friends to share things with. Maybe that is why some people like to just come on here and talk about something which may seem trivial to others, but they have nobody else to voice their thoughts to. I can't see anything wrong with that at all. I appreciate reading about other people's silly mistakes, or their painful big toe, or how they coped with a loved ones death. Surely this forum is here for all of us.

I am sometimes put off, especially in the "politics" threads, by some people's contributions, but I totally respect their right to contribute in the way that they wish.

Stansgran your post made me laugh!

Ann stay and be annoyed by trivia.
Yes please annsixty stay and have a rant now and then

It shows you're alive and kicking.
we already have one poster named that .....

Ann - I often feel the same way as you.
If this adult generation, even the baby-boomers, had to live through the problems of WW2 and the aftermath, as I did as a young aware child (and a few others on here),anything that came later would be trivial.
But TG we haven't had to experience those horrors again, and I'm glad my family can grow up in a relatively safe environment. But, in which there are always problems which need to be aired.

ann if you stopped (or even were stopped) posting on GN I would have to shift hell and high water to find out why, as it would be so unfair. GN is many things to many people but one thing it is extremely good at is supporting others. Just posting you are having a shit day can be extremely cathartic so please continue doing that whenever you want. I think you are fantastic; not only are you coping with great difficulties at home but you have also made time recently to support others in RL too.

Of course if you just want to p**s off into the sunset, that's up to you, but please let's have a party first

Indeed, we only know what people have told us about their lives, and what we have read of their posts, if we have read any of them, which I suspect you have not, Serkeen.

Annsixty's has been so shitty lately (far from just "a bit of a bad day") with no prospect of improvement in her husband's or her health, or the many constant grinding days she is spending looking after him) that I am not at all surprised that she finds "frivolous and insignificant posts" such a waste of time and a source of yet more depression.

Fair enough serkeen I suppose I thought a more sensitive reading of annsixty's posts might have engendered a more sensitive response.
BTW I see from your profile you "have no patients"
Are you a doctor?

kittylister what I said to maw

mawbroon what do any of us know of each others lives?.

It was just my opinion, I think its ok to give my opinion.

Your confrontational post was not at all necessary, however we all have our own little characters and as I don't know you from Adam your comment had no impact on me.

Lets hope that some of the posts have helped annsixty deal with her her thoughts on .. I quote.. "frivolous and insignificant posts.

Sometimes a trivial annoyance is like the pus on a pimple it shows there is an infection. I'm probably not being clear but when things come to a head it's the straw which breaks the camel's back. Somehow I'm rather proud of my mixed metaphors. Ann stay and be annoyed by trivia. It shows you're alive and kicking.

I read a lot e posts on here, but have often hesitated to post things myself just st because, in the light of others situations, it seems such a trivial thing to moan about. I'm thinking mainly of the situations that ann and maw are in. My heart goes out to them and also to rubylady, and it makes me realise how lucky I am in my life. Please don't leave GN!

No need to apologise annsixty Things just have a way of sometimes getting on top of you, I understand that, and then the simplest of irritations can "push you over the edge".

Don't forget we are all friends here, no problems too big, no problems too small. Glad you will be staying. Happy days.