AIBU to want to tell a mum to stop it!

It's sounds to me like she doesn't realise her behaviour is unacceptable and has probably grown up like that. It's a sad situation because she'll drive other mothers away and her little boy will miss out on being around families from whom he could learn different behaviour. Your GS has to come first though.

If I was your DD I would be very upset about this. What kind of a person takes pleasure in reducing a small child to tears? The woman sounds very insecure apart from anything else. I think there comes a point at which you have to lay it on the line. My DD was always one to turn the other cheek to bad behaviour until she finally got fed up of one of GS's friends being b****y rude to her (she knew he spoke similarly to his mother because she had heard him. So had I). Anyway, he said something during a lift home in the car which made her take him to task about it. She never raises her voice to a child, but he told his mother she had shouted at him, and a nasty text ensued. DD, mad as hell, went round to their house and put the mother straight about what he had said and also the fact that he had, on occasion, been very rude to me (although I had a word and he never did it again!). She told the mother that until he learned some manners, she didn't want to have any contact with him. Eventually, she got an apology. The boys are still friends, though DD and H's mum don't spend as much time together as they did. Sometimes things just have to be said.

Am I missing something here by suggesting that your daughter disassociates with this other Mum with speed? Seems too obvious...........

What!!!!!! I would have poked her in the eye with a sharp stick the first time she made my boy cry. She is a bully and needs to be told and who cares if she never speaks to you again, she is no loss.

That is emotional abuse.

As a bit of an overprotective GM I do sympathise - on a few occasions I have retaliated in support of my grandson but whilst the children quickly forget the problem parents don't and it does cause an atmosphere - I have learnt my lesson and leave my DD to sort out difficulties. Perhaps your DD could stand away from this other mum so she can welcome and praise her son when he comes out of school. We have all come across this brand of mother in the past and they are best avoided. Perhaps this is the way her own mother handled situations.

I wonder what this awful woman does when she has made your DGS cry. More importantly what does your daughter do ? I would scoop him up, kiss him and say " That was uncalled for" and walk off. Let this woman come back to you and apologise. No so called " friend" is worth that.

If it was me I"d have said something if I was your daughter. This woman sounds both jealous and negative in her behaviour. Maybe her children don"t often get stickers for their work and she doesn't"nt believe others can earn so many. Think it's time to move on from this woman and if she does"nt realise why then she needs it spelling out to her. She may have issues of her own that cause her to be like this but other people should not bear the brunt of them.

I hate playground politics, so much so that I would not stand with them preferring to stand on my own. Now I'm a grandmother I think its got worst these mothers are jealous of any child doing better than their own off spring! I would have asked the mother what her problem was and then left after giving her a piece of my mind. So N&G we would love tyre tracks, photos please

radicalnan
We're twins! My choice is always a 'poke in the eye with a sharp stick' too!
NanaandGrampyOn a more serious note, this woman is a bully, pure and simple, and needs taking down a peg or two (or three, or four, or more) immediately.
Next time your DD (or you) hear her say anything nasty to your DGS, call her out on it, loudly saying something like "You seem to enjoy making small children cry, is there a specific reason for that"?
If she doesn't like being pulled up short.........tough, she needs to moderate her behaviour!
I have a couple of baseball bats here if you'd like to borrow one?

Jealousy plain & simple. I'm curious as to her reaction when your GS cried. Did she realise and apologise or not even notice.

With 'friends' like that etc etc

Quick update :

To answer what this woman does when he cries - she ignores him.
My daughter always scoops him, up tells him how proud she is of him if its about a small success and they leave.

My DD spoke to the woman after the children had gone in this morning and whether it is to believed or not she says she didn't realise she was upsetting him ( the clue was that he was crying ;-) ). There was a hint of 'tell him to toughen up' but my daughter firmly put her right in saying he wouldn't need to toughen up if grown women weren't mean !!

I'm unsure that their tentative friendship will go any further which is a shame as the boys are friends.

However , she left it that she would not tolerate that type of comment going forward , and that she hoped now the matter was settled that she would still see the woman and her son in the park after school as has been the case.

I think that's fair. No need to penalise the children and the woman now knows the boundaries. Cross it and there is now a queue of Grans with assorted weapons including a string shopping bag, baseball bats and a sharp stick queuing up to take revenge.

Thank you for helping me see I wasn't alone.

Who needs friends like this?

Tell her not to mess with the gangsta grannies N&G

love it Jalima

What's this about using abbreviations for everything these days? I don't understand half of them. Language has become so lazy. What's a DGS?

Hello Veda, Have to say the abbreviations make me smile and give me a challenge when I try to work them out. Not really difficult within the context of the post but anything that stretches the brain is welcomed (and needed!) by me. It happens regularly that I don't figure the abb immediately. Unimportant.

I can see how worried you are. At the end of the day it's your daughters friend and unfortunately she needs to do something about it, I think. Good luck anyway. X

I agree with whitewave!

Veda & Kim19
Go to the top of the page, you'll find a tab marked 'Acronyms', click on that and you'll see a list of the most commonly used abbreviations! Simples!

Veda GNers use abbreviations to keep posts shorter. There is a list of Acronyms at the top of the page, DGS is Dear/Darling Grandson, so no, language has not become lazy, it took me a little while to work acronyms out but they are easy to use.

I agree N&G this woman is a bully, children do not respond well to anything they can't understand as "teasing". My DGS's other Nanny says things to him that she thinks are funny but he looks at DD as if to say "what does she mean, I don't understand that", whereas I can tease him but my tone of voice is very different, he knows I'm just teasing not serious.

If this situation had happened to my DD "a poke in the eye with a sharp stick" would have been the least of this woman's worries. My DD not only praises DGS but also any of his friends who have done well, not overpraising by it's a boost to their confidence, I hate to think how this woman talks to her own DC. I have seen how that sort of treatment saps the confidence of small children

It sounds like this woman finds your grandsons positivity irritating and wants to bring him down a peg or two. I would steer clear.

I'd be inclined to have a discreet word, " A bit of banter" seems to be the In thing but if it's distressing him and doesn't work then I think you can class it as bullying

Jamila- love it!

Oops that should have read Jalima - sorry!

Jalima ???