Gransnet forums

AIBU

Age

(62 Posts)
Emsgran Sun 09-Jul-17 00:27:57

is everyone always upfront about their age or do you knock a few years off?

I've met a few blokes on holidays who have backed off when I've been honest about my age. What's the best way to go?

Starlady Sun 09-Jul-17 04:01:04

Are you talking about blokes you're interested in dating or who might be interested in dating you? If so, maybe you need to change the age range of the men you're looking at. If they seem to think you're "too old" (I say that because you asked about "knocking a few years off?"), then go places where there is a slightly older crowd than you usually seek out.

If you're just talking about making new friends, I don't see why age would be an issue. But if it is, again, I give the same advice.

Frankly, I don't see any reason to mention your age, unless you're asked. But I take it they're asking.

BlueBelle Sun 09-Jul-17 06:51:48

I never have changed my age, and never will, I am what I am. Blokes, women, friends foes I ve never been ashamed of being the age I am

kittylester Sun 09-Jul-17 07:55:28

What BlueBelle said.

Greyduster Sun 09-Jul-17 08:02:24

Likewise. Can't see the point of lying about your age. It will come back to bite you on the bum!

tanith Sun 09-Jul-17 08:05:05

What's the point it will come at some point in time anyway. I am what I am.

Smithy Sun 09-Jul-17 08:37:06

I thought like that until I hit 70 last year. Would like to stay 69 for a little longer but to be honest age never really crops up in casual conversation.

Christinefrance Sun 09-Jul-17 08:40:01

No I don't lie about it either but I always feel a bit shocked when the numbers come out of my mouth. Doesn't seem that could be me somehow smile

MawBroon Sun 09-Jul-17 08:45:58

It's only numbers! How do you know the "nice young men" you are meeting aren't shaving a few years off theirs too!! grin
#allherownteeth

Mspjam123 Sun 09-Jul-17 08:49:32

Add 10 years on. I tried it once and the people in question all thought I looked great for "My Age"! I did own up quickly though! Really, anyone with a problem about your age, it's THEIR problem! Rub their noses in the "horrible" truth!

Kim19 Sun 09-Jul-17 08:54:14

Nope never lie about my age. No point. Mirror tells me it would be futile! However.......I am always pleased when people assume I'm younger than I am when this topic is aired - never by me, I might add - but I am totally convinced this to to do with attitude/behaviour and not at all appearance or calendar. Also....of course... some of us more fortunate than others health wise and this has a huge impact methinks.

adaunas Sun 09-Jul-17 08:59:28

Never mention ages since I worked for a boss who referred to anyone over 40 as his 'aging staff'. It's no secret though as my DH will happily announce his age to whoever asks and always adds that we're the same age.

Jalima1108 Sun 09-Jul-17 09:38:51

I had a boss who was very ageist (I was in my 50s at the time and he in his late 40s!).

I don't mind telling people my age, but equally I don't want to turn into one of those old ladies who say 'I'm 85 you know' and wait for people to say 'Ooh, well you certainly don't look it!', cue for preening, although I would very much like to get to the age of 85 and more.

#onlytwocrownssofar

Teetime Sun 09-Jul-17 09:43:13

I try not to mention it and avoid certain conversations including age, ill health and money.

Nanna58 Sun 09-Jul-17 09:45:37

I never lie about my age because it's obviously just a big mix up - I couldn't possibly be that age when I still only feel 18 inside!?

Bellanonna Sun 09-Jul-17 09:52:21

When people stop saying "No, you can't be", then I'll worry. Of course they might be saying I can't be ONLY my age! I do agree with kim19 and I think a lot has to do with attitude and behaviour.

#notlettingon

trisher Sun 09-Jul-17 09:55:49

I rarely mention my age. I do sometimes ask people to guess and watch them squirm as they try to decide what would be acceptable and what might be considered insulting. grin However I am now thinking I should make better use of it when I don't feel like doing something- Oh not at my age- I am over 70 you know!

vampirequeen Sun 09-Jul-17 09:55:58

I never bother to lie about my age although there are times I forget it I've had a birthday and drop a year confused

Diggingdoris Sun 09-Jul-17 10:04:54

No point in lying. 66 yesterday and proud. I've only a few grey hairs and don't dye my hair so people are usually surprised . It would be embarrassing if I lied and someone found out the truth!

starlily106 Sun 09-Jul-17 10:15:58

No. What is the point in telling fibs about your age. You are what you are. Turned 80 this week, but still feel 21, (just wish i looked 21).
I still laugh when I remember a small girl on the estate asking me how old I was. When i said 73, she said "Ooh, that's when you die, isn't it!"

David1968 Sun 09-Jul-17 10:24:23

I don't care who knows my real age. I'm 67 and my son is 49, so the pretence might not last long! I'd rather they think I'm "OK for 67" than a rather haggard 57!

JanaNana Sun 09-Jul-17 10:27:13

No why would you? However it is sometimes a shock or surprise to meet friends you have known for years and have"t seen in ages and see how kind or unkind nature has been to them. I went to a school reunion last year with a close friend of mine since primary school.....we had"nt seen some of these school friends for decades. Some of our old school friends we still recognised straight away...others not so ..had changed beyond any resemblance of how we remembered them. In your minds eye you still remember people how you last saw them. On the way home my friend said OMG ...I can"t believe ----was in our class can you. It was a revelation. Some people feel very comfortable as they are while others don"t and maybe lie about age as the thought of growing older frightens them. I have friends who are half my age ..some same age..others a lot older. They just see me as a friend as I do them and our ages don"t come into it.

Kitspurr Sun 09-Jul-17 10:49:02

My mum & I have a good laugh about people who lie about their age or who won't even say their age. My aunt lies about her age. She even told a boyfriend she had that she was 15 years younger than she was at the time, even though she looks her age. I don't lie about my age, as I don't see why I should have to. Anyone who's "offended" by age, isn't worthy of my time. I'm 50.

starbird Sun 09-Jul-17 11:00:37

I think it is different with men if you are looking for a potential boyfriend or whatever. It seems to be a male ego thing to have a partner at least 10 years younger than they are - perhaps to ensure that the woman lives long enough to look after them in old age when they become decrepid. .Don't foget that men lie about their age too, until they are about ninety when they become proud of it. If you hang on for one of those rare and beautiful souls who don't care how old you are you could end up being very lonely as I have seen happen to someone who decided not to seek a partner while her children were growing up, but at forty, found that her age equals wanted younger women (fair enough if they wanted a new family but not all did), and so it has continued - as she never fancied older men and doesn't have the confidence for a toyboy (in spite of several opportunities for same) she is now old and lonely.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 09-Jul-17 11:01:36

Very relevant subject - I am 60 this month, and starting to feel part of the "older generation" but still feel 25 on the inside, taken to avoiding mirrors!!!