.. to feel uncomfortable bout this book loan ..

devongirl the advice and opinions are well meant
but the bottom line is your feelings are just as relevant as your OH and DGD.
If it doesn't sit well then try to find away to express this again with your OH.
Good luck

my not hy - typing error again!

Thanks to all for your input.

There's a lot of advice I need to think about (by the way, hy typing error earlier, it's DD not GD, and I'm 65 so not an old fogey yet!)

It's been very helpful to read all your comments, thanks again.

"men of the cloth" are just men ...they have the same feelings and enjoy the same things as joe bloggs the plumber .Dont pigeonhole him by his career choice.So if he thinks a book is a good read and it contains sex scenes,its no different to anyone else thinking the same .Your DD can make her own mind up about it.You do have issues with him though,whether its trust or just that you believe he shouldn't read this type of book ,its something you need to clarify.IF your relationship is to continue and flourish

A 24 year old woman with a degree in Eng Lit hardly needs her grandmother to OK her reading material! She is neither a child nor an impressionable teenager.
I think you are being a prude I am afraid, let her decide for herself. She may find it well written or tacky but that is up to her!

Pussyfooting around? Making the book 'disappear'?
My biggest concern would be the element of dishonesty/hypocrisy in these relationships?

Oh, he's probably just trying to show how modern and not prudish he is! I've often noticed that 'men of the cloth" feel they have to go against the image, as it were. Tell slightly risque jokes, over-compensate for the image. If there was anything sinister he wouldn't have handed the book over to you.
Not sure this is your best relationship ever though.

You have said it's a well written novella DG, so it's hardly 50 Shades of Grey (anyone recommending that particular piece of nonsense goes down in my estimation!) I'm sure we all remember the ridiculous furore over Lady Chatterly's Lover, which although written by one of the 20th century's most talented writers, and that novel must seem risible to today's generation.
My own mother was too inhibited to even talk about the court case... and as for Oscar Wilde .
There has been a huge generational shift in talking about sexual mores, and all to the good IMO. I'm sure your GD has no such inhibitions, so please..... do as Ninathenana suggests and if you are really worried about this flippin' book, hand it over with a light-hearted remark such as 'the opening's a bit raunchy, explicit, near the knuckle' (strike out whichever you feel uncomfortable with).
I feel you are casting your very good friend in an extremely bad light here. Do you have doubts that he has some dark side? You need to think about this... if so why are you in a close relationship with him? I'm sorry but the problem seems to be of your making, and only you can solve it.

Trust your gut feeling - you know them both and the dynamics between the three of you. The book 'disappearing' harms no one '

Yes cherry tree that is also part of it, for sure.

I understand where you are coming from devongirl.l
My DH has often recommended a film to my DD, but if the film had even a hint sexual content the he wouldn't watch it in her company.
He doesn't read fiction but I'm sure he would not pass on book to her with even the slightest bit of 'steaminess'

I think its a generation thing.

Just a thought
As you are in a relationship are you also concerned that your DGD will relate the sexual content to your relationship and that is why you feel yuk?

Anyway a big [Hug] from moi

teifi that is so kind, thank you!

FarNorth, I think you have hit a very important point; I'm a very private person and I'd rather keep intimate relationships private, maybe that's it?

Mmm at first I thought like some of the others that she is an adult and maybe it is well written and perfectly reasonable to pass the book on but the more I think about it something jars. If it was you or a female friend suggesting the book then that is different or even her boyfriend/partner but not a 66yr old man who is her mother's partner. It does sound iffy to me and I think you are right Devongirl.

I would feel uncomfortable about it too, devongirl, though I can't exactly say why. It would be absolutely no problem if the book was being lent to her by one of her contempories, but by a 60-odd year old 'man of the cloth' who is a friend of her mother/grandmother(?) - definitely nope. Consider yourself hugged....

devongirl, if it was your own book and you had read and enjoyed it, would you be happy to lend it to your DD?
If not, is it because that type of topic is usually not part of your relationship? And so , similarly, you don't want it to be part of her relationship with your OH, even only as part of a book?

Just guessing, here.

I think Devongirl she is most probably old enough to have read this type of book before. Why do you feel uncomfortable has he made any personal remarks about her in the past that has alerted you over this? If not then literature is literature.

Devongirl I too find this strange it's ok for you to read, ok for him to read, and ok for your adult Daughter (or is it granddaughter i m confused as you say GD then further on DD ) to read but it can't come as a recommendation from him You are all adults and presumably hes not wanting to discuss its contents in private with her
I bet he's well confused and a bit hurt that you seem to find something unsavory in his book recommendation even though you obviously enjoyed it It's a bit of a mixed message to give him imo

Maybe you should have a book group of 2 discussion on the book and your feelings about it and him. It's obviously raised a lot of issues.

I've actually felt all day as if I nees a hug - but I should expect GN to provide a more robust response!

I take your point suzied but his position makes it a bit more complicated than that.

I'm not really surprised, it looks like you don't trust him 100%.

I don't blame him, it's almost like you were accusing him of having some sort of inappropriate sexual designs on the girl. If he's anything like me he's forgotten the plot of the book as soon as he's read it, just remembers it being a good read. It's not as if he's invited her to watch a porn film, he's loaned her a book to read , or rather hasn't as you've censored it.

I have emailed him - he wasn't amused

I think that it would be good for you to talk to your OH about how you feel.

Well, I think I have to accept that I'm the one with the problem. Nevertheless, in this instance I'm going to return the book to him.