Last moments

You can write whatever you like, but that still won't stop you collapsing in the street with a fatal heart attack; and if someone who loves you dashes to your bedside to be with you for your final moments, I don't think any documentation is going to dissuade them.

You can write an Advanced Care Plan stating such wishes ...templates available on line

....or fortunately......

Not "unreasonable" in my book, Blodwen. Imo, you have a right to want/wish for whatever you like, regarding your last moments or anything else. Whether or not that's how it will be is another story, of course. If you can let your loved ones know before that unhappy time comes, then, hopefully, they'll honor your wishes. But as others have said, we don't always know when death is coming, unfortunately.

An amusing picture popped up on FB. 'When I'm old I don't want people thinking "what a sweet old lady" I want them saying "Oh carp, what's she up to now?"

I would like someone holding my hand at the very least.

Bit morbid Blodwen1910 you should be thinking of all the lovely years you have left and all the wonderful things you will be doing

But fair enough you wish to speak about this

I would like mine to say she was caring and tried her best

More to the point nobody dies anymore. They pass away. I have warned my children that if they ever refer to me as passing away, or worse still, passing, somehow from some other place I will rewrite my will and leave all I possess to a cats home.

You can't plan for everything, no one knows how or when we die. As long as you leave a loving family that will carry on, that's what matters. People surrounded but people, usually wait until there's no one there to slip away, this is what nurses told me.

I think you probably can't know how you'd feel until you get there .... and of course it's the one human experience that we never get any feedback on, so we don't get the benefit of anyone's reflections. You may find you are very glad of the presence of someone you know and love.

Also, the people who love you may want to be with you during those final moments. It is a huge thing, witnessing someone's last breath and the stillness that follows it, and it can help the bereaved come to terms with the reality of what's happened.

In many cases, this isn't an option or a possibility anyway. Some people drop dead almost instantly, or die in their sleep, or in a traffic accident. There isn't always the opportunity to decide who'll be in the cast list for your final scene before the curtain falls.

Sex changes & transitioning? brings a whole new meaning to dying ?

Possibly, DameJudyClench. It would certainly make for an exciting death!

Alas we don't usually know when our final moments will be, but if you are in a position to know, then I don't think you are being unreasonable, but let's hope for you that that's along way off?

She changed sex on her deathbed?

He Brexited

Apparently, people don't die nowadays. I read the obituary this week of an elderly woman who had seemingly 'transitioned'!

There's nothing wrong with expecting your last wishes to be respected. You need to make it absolutely clear to your loved ones, that this is what you want.

I've already picked out my funeral music. Something classical followed by a Metallica song. My kids were horrified, but not surprised. Your funeral, your rules.

If only it were in your hands ! Unless you are sadly on your death bed at the moment ?