to expect mail to be addressed to me?

I have a joint a/c with my husband which is his really but he can't really operate it himself being disabled. I have my own a/c too. What I say is, what is his is ours, and what's mine is my own!

When I was first married I went into a well known electrical retailer to buy a washing machine. I chose the model and then the assistant said 'Now we'll just need to make a phone call to your husband to see if it's ok for you to have a credit agreement'. We were both working, and I earned the same amount as my husband, I was twenty four - and absolutely enraged. I drew myself up to my full 5'2' and announced that as a woman with the vote, and her own bank account, I was extremely offended, and had intended in any event to pay cash from MY OWN bank account. I really wanted to leave the shop with a flourish and slam the door but the machine was a fantastic bargain so I paid cash, when I had really wanted credit, and left myself with about £1.50 to last the month. However, honour was satisfied, salesman had a good lesson I hope, and we always share our money anyway so I didn't starve.

It breaches various provisions and DATA rules.
Complain long and loudly.

I still have a letter from the Inland Revenue addressed to my then husband in which it informs him that I was due a refund of some of the tax that I had paid, advising him of why and letting him know they would pay the money directly to me! At the time I was earning more than he was but was still expected to be his inferior and by him too!

The flip side of this coin is that yesterday I received a demand notice for payment of my personal accident insurance policy, which was paid on the due date by direct debit from my husband's account along with his.

As the notification from the bank has both the policy number and the client number assigned by the insurance company on it, I wrote a very stiff e-mail to the company, about it, especially because their demand notice was downright rude, and am waiting to see if or when they apologise!

So ladies, even if we have the same surname as our DHs which I do, paying things from an account in the other's name seems really to throw a spanner in the works.

I was going to use NatWest to set up my business account. I am not going there now. My son banks with them (still lives at home, so we share an address) and I have visions of my business correspondence being sent to him.

Also, what if there is abuse or domestic violence in a household - by sending the woman's card to the man, you are enabling financial coercion.

It is ridiculous - women are no longer the property of husbands and fathers, they are financially autonomous citizens. It is time that banks and other institutions recognised this.

My son still lives with me. During the General Election their was a 'letter' hand delivered from one of the minor political artists (Greens I think but can't be certain). It was addressed to my son and referred to 'his household' and 'his family' etc. As I am the one paying the council tax etc. I wondered how they came to the conclusion that he was the householder! I would not like to assume that it was because he was Mr. I am trying to lean towards the reason being that his first name becomes before mine alpabetically, but that seems a poor excuse for assuming he was 'head of the house'.

My husband's cards come addressed to me if it makes it any better. We do all our banking online & I am first name on account & do all the banking. Does it really matter? I would agree if it were a man/woman thing but I doubt it is.

It's general with NatWest. Our cards arrive in the same way, a bank employee also could see no reason for me objecting to our paying in book having just Mr C's name on it. Why are we still with them? It's been convenient to bank there as a branch on the doorstep. I'm afraid that overrode my principles.

We have a joint account. Everything comes addressed to me because I set it up. Having full access to our joint funds has never made me feel inferior or dependent. If we had a shrug emoji I'd use it.

Jane10 I have always had my own bank account and I encouraged my daughters to keep theirs when they married. A couple of years ago my husband suggested that he should make his current account a joint one in order to get some benefit or other and so that I could always access his money immediately if anything should happen to him. So, I'm now in the happy position of having access to both my account and his..........if only I could remember the PIN number that is!

The NatWest isn't one we've ever banked with - I'll make sure I avoid them in future, too!

Our bank asked us what we wanted to have on our cheque books in terms of names - I take that that is that not a universal thing?

Jane10, it was a requirement to have a joint account when we were first married and Dh was in the Forces. Rest assured, I also have accounts in my own name!

You aren't the only independent woman on here Jane10. We have a joint account for paying bills and running the household. We both have individual accounts as well - same with our savings.

I can't imagine having a joint account. It's not that my DH isn't trustworthy it's just that I like my own privacy in financial matters. I'm just independent.

Yes, I thought you'd respond with that but once I'd pressed send, wanted the edit button so I could stress I hadn't been having a go.

Indeed we did.

Baggs I suspect most of us were taught that at school, then chucked it when we realised that women have their own names.

Our joint account had mine (Mrs) as the first name. The only time I can remember feeling indignant about sexism was many years ago, when my husband received a letter beginning, "Dear Mr C, With reference to your wife's letter ... " I can't remember what it was about, but it was something I had every right to correspond about. I replied, pointing out that I was perfectly capable of handling the query myself.

I was taught at school that the proper way to address a married woman on an envelope was by calling her Mrs Husband's Name, as in Mistress of That Man.

When I first moved to Scotland (Dundee, 1970s) some older people still used the term Mistress of any older woman: Mistress So-and-So, Mistress ThisorThat. In those cases I din't think the woman even had to be (or to have been) married.

I guess some things take a while to die out.

Not that any of this is an excuse for hildajennij's new card being addressed to her husband. I'm just musing.

I get really annoyed when after booking a holiday, paying for it on my cr.card, the invoice gets posted and addressed to DH. Silly really, but it makes me cross.

The CEO of the Nat West bank (named and shamed), will be receiving a strongly worded email first thing on Monday morning. I'm not leaving this. I know the letter was computer generated, but it really has annoyed me. I can no longer go into the branch, because they closed it in early summer. I either have to go to Newcastle or Carlisle if I want to visit a branch.

I will never get over being invited to a garden party where my invitation was addressed to me with my husbands initial.
He was actually working and this was known so no possibility of him being invited, so why was his initial used, and why couldn’t I be invited as myself.
Humph...

Yes, that is ridiculous and YADNBU. I never understand why cheques (I know, I know, but they do still exist!) so often say J Bloggs & Mrs P Bloggs as the name of the account. Ours say J When & T When and they work just the same. Also, we have a current account with a BS as well as one with a bank, and set it up with my name first as I would be using it more. No problem with doing that.

We have two joint current accounts but all mailings get sent to each of us individually. You should name and shame the bank, HildajenniJ.

That's absolutely unacceptable. Its unacceptable that most banks still put the husband's name first on join accounts but to send the joint account holder's debit card to the male half of the joint account is beyond belief.
Please complain - get your joint account holder to complain. It's not the 1920's or even the 1950's.