to expect mail to be addressed to me?

That's totally wrong. When my late DH and I had a joint account, we each had to login separately, and once when he was answering security questions on the phone and I was trying to prompt him, they said I had to leave the room! (I stayed very quiet and wrote my prompts down on paper).

I think you should have strong words with your bank. Your DH could have been away from home,or forgotten to give you the card. It should have come to you directly.

I agree.

Just thinking... it's probably down to machine laziness, by which I mean some software sloppiness of code so that only the first name is picked up for mailings. Still worth complaining, I think.

YANBU. Something like this happened to me several decades ago. I gave the bank hell. That's more difficult nowadays as the local bank managers have become extinct. Maybe splash your disgust onto Twitter.