In thinking many modern parents take the easy way out

Most schools are like that these days, they like to get the parents involved as much as possible. It's not new.

Coming up to Christmas it's always been like this, I've not known any different so to say parents these days cba because they aren't sat making costumes isn't fair because we are busy with the things that wasn't about way back when.

And the emails we get from schools, we often get the letters aswell which usually contradict the emails.

'My kids were born in the 70's and 80's and I didn't know ANY stay at home mums ,just frazzled women trying to juggle their priorities.'
Yes Paddyann!

Also. Never have I ever called myself a yummy mummy

",just frazzled women trying to juggle their priorities.'
Yes Paddyann!"
Me too!

Oh - yummy mummies

I wish I had been one

Think there should be two Gransnets, one for us really oldies and another for the young one's who seem to be the same age as my children! Then we wouldn't upset each other.

What would be classed as a 'really oldie' I wonder?

I've been on both sides of this. My DSs' school asking for costumesand the school where I taught asking mums for costumes. I did like being creative sometimes. DSs still remember the Ghostbuster outfits made from a cardboard box, a length of hose and a plastic bottle! When I was teaching I tried to keep a collection of stuff I could use for kids whose mums hadn't managed (or hadn't been told about) a costume. But I think mums today are entitled to do what they want and if they have the time and the skill to make their own costume that's fine, but so is picking up something from a shop. Being a mum has always been hard work, any way you choose to make it easier has to be a bonus.

Yes, some of it could be fun - as long as the request didn't come the night before at about 7pm - 'oh, by the way, Mum'

My sewing machine is still out - I bet as soon as I put it away there will be a request 'please, Granny, could you make .... '

KIRBYGIRLI'm 64 not a young granny by any means

You can be an old Granny of very young DGC (and youngish DC too!)

paddyann I would say you are an 'inbetweener'

Would I have to join the "old grannies"? I'm 72.
Just thought let's not forget the cntribution dads make. My DS is a dab hand with a needle, everything from mending torn tutus and Frozen car pillows to making cushions and curtains. Dressing up isn't just a mum's job.

I think in most households it is Trisher your son is a rarity.Things haven't changed much over the decades so most child related stuff is still the mums job .At least for families I know

I also had children in the 70s , I didn't have a career, but I did do 5 part time jobs, but was lucky enough to fit them in during school hours, although I did & do have a brain , I was not adverse to doing cleaning jobs, & other jobs that perhaps some of the present generation may not want to do. It sometimes comes across in the media that woman have careers which they must maintain & pursue ,which is their choice, but why have children if you don't want to at least have some quality time with them .

Bridgeit who says they dont have quality time ? Or that the only way to "make memories" is by making costumes ...certainly costumes were never a huge part of our lives and we have brilliant memories of our children when they were small .We also have amassive amount of photographs as "evidence" though they are not necessary to remind us .Calling young mums CBA ..because they dont fit someone else's idea of what family life is ...is just wrong.I went back to work when my D was 8 DAYS old ..she came with me...as I was self employed there wasn't an alterbative ,and we.both she and I have never regretted it .We have a great relationship.I feel very strongly about the criticism of young women who are trying their best ...despite what you or the other grans think

Bridgeit
that woman have careers which they must maintain & pursue ,which is their choice, but why have children if you don't want to at least have some quality time with them .
Would you ask a man the same thing? And if not, why not!

I had my children in the 70's, 80's and 90's and it was only with my last child that I knew of many WOTH mums, which is obviously a very different experience to some 70's/80's mums on here.

I recall my sister-in-law going back to work part time when her two girls were at school and nursery and everyone being very shocked!

We've gone through 180 degreees and it's now quite a shock when a mother doesn't return to work.

As for CBA parents, I don't think they are any more or less prevalent than they ever were. There will always be some parents who don't much care for their children but I have to say, I think the young parents I know today are doing a pretty good job.

Many men over many generations have had careers which they must maintain and pursue and have still managed to spend plenty of quality time with their children. Why should women not be able to do the same?

DH and I are in our 70s and both of us had working mothers as well as working fathers, neither of us have ever felt we lost out on time with our parents because they worked.

I have seep reservations about this whole talk about 'quality' time. It is an excuse used by parents of all kinds who cannot be bothered to spend much time with their children

continuation: (my message posted itself half way through a sentence)

...Give them half an hour and then dump them somewhere while I socialise, go to the gym etc etc. What most children want is to have their parents around, to be there if needed and that is completely compatible with working.

Would I have to join the "old grannies"? I'm 72.
Definitely not trisher - I hope!

trisher DH is very good at untangling necklace chains, untying tight knots and mending!

What is a WOTH mum please?

Was I one or not, worrying now.

Oh, worked it out? Worked Outside The Home? is that it, as opposed to a SAHM?

Well, I did both over the years, multi-tasker, that's me.

'Quality time 'refers to both parents , Costumes I didn't mention costumes?!

I was a SAHM, and I’m very glad I was. That was in the first half of the 1970s. I wouldn't have had the energy to do two jobs (mother and outside job) properly. We were happy.to do without luxuries and not have much money.

I knew several other SAHMs, and nobody who worked when their children were under five.

The point I was making was that you can work & have children, but some parents wish to maintain careers whereby they don't have time to see much of their children , the focus for mums & dads is their careers, whereas I see parenting as one of the most important commitments a person can make & a job as a means to earn money .