In thinking many modern parents take the easy way out

I agree with many posters here. I'm surprised at the number of occasions my daughter has to provide an outfit for my grandson. Yes, it was a spotted costume a week or so ago. I can see that if you have several children this can become a very stressful situation. Most schools have a PTA. Surely, parents need to voice their concerns to the Head if it's all getting too much. They do have a say.

Sorry but I do wish I could have spent a tenner instead of loads of time which I didn’t have making costumes . I worked with both my children in our own business, taking them with me to work from being babies and anything that made life easier I jumped at! I dont think today’s parents take the easy option, just the sensible one, leaving time to do something they and their children find more pleasurable.

I made a lot of fancy dress costumes when dds were small, but then I didn't go back to work until my younger was 5, and then only very P/t.
Things are very different for my dd - two very little ones, both under 3, AND working 4 full days a week in a very demanding job, which she cannot afford to give up.

There are plenty of calls on any spare time and energy she may have -I don't suppose she'd even think of trying to make costumes when they're so often available in charity shops for so little. I think she found a lovely Halloween outfit for her elder for about £2.

My two GDs aged 6 and 8 have several ready made dresses of various cartoon characters, like Elsa and Cinderella. When they came and stayed with me last summer, I dragged out several of my older dresses, scarves, hats and costume jewellery. They had great fun dressing up and mix and matching their outfits. It's up to us grandparents to show them what a bit of imagination can do. I stayed at home with my children until school started, then went part time and full-time. My MIL took her Maternity Leave then straight back to full time with an hour's journey either side. She has no choice. My little girls have wonderful parents but very busy ones. We were luckier.

My DD is excellent with her needle! I am not!! From an early age, about seven, she would help to make any outfit that was required for various events, including ones for her brother! Between us we did pretty well! Without her help it would have been a disaster!

Needless to say that despite working in their business full time, she always made costumes for her own three when they were small. My input was never required!!!!!!!

I get my DIL's Facebook requests occasionally - 'Help, has anyone got Batman costume/football boots/ angel wings/ icing sugar etc etc for tomorrow morning'. Often there are lots of 'offers'. She works full time, and I am really impressed by the way these young mothers help each other out, but equally annoyed by the schools that make these demands. I was a stay at home mum but don't remember being asked to produce all this stuff at a moments notice. (Except for one occasion when supposed to produce fresh fish for a cookery lesson on Monday morning. No Sunday opening then.)

As a child my Sunday school organised a pageant, all us children were to each represent a country and parade through the streets.
I was chosen to represent Wales. Well my mum couldn't sew but she somehow fashioned a costume and made a pointy hat out of cardboard and black crepe paper. I resembled a cross between Professor Mcgonagall and a bag lady.
To add insult to injury my best friends mum had made her a beautiful red and gold Spanish dress complete with mantilla and castanets.
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse they did. It began to rain and my pointy hat disintegrated and the black dye from the crepe ran down my face rendering me looking more like a child from the tropics rather than the valleys.
So good luck to all those mums who can either sew or can buy these outfits.

Ooh Annsixty after 22years of fostering 27 babies I would have loved a machine that made bottles for me, all that time standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil and all those scoops I've measured out. To say nothing of the changes in policy over the years that I had to keep up with. I looked up these machines, how fabulous and just what I would have bought. I loved making costumes for the children who stayed with me,we often worked on them together with some bizarre results, multi coloured spots, stripes and squares together, but it was their choice, I just put it together. I so miss the children now, but I grabbed every time saving device going as it gave me more cuddle time.

When I worked at a First School it used to break my heart to see some kids come in with rather dodgy costumes v the expensively bought ones v the beautifully hand made ones and some of the comments which kids invariably compare each other with.
I spent a looooong time rounding up a few bits and managed to gather together some helpful and creative mums and we made a whole wardrobe that covered everything needed which took the pressure off the mums to make, the pressure off the teachers to convince the kids not to lose the letters and no peer pressure for the kids. It was something I could do and I loved every minute of it and the costumes went on for years.

I remember making a wind machine - was informed of the need for one at 8am for a junior science lesson the same day. Luckily there were some paper cups in the garage, some wood and I cobbled one together. And we got to school in time! Seriously though, DD2 works full time and usually brings work home in the evenings. She would be very pushed indeed to have to make costumes for school plays.

Sorry but what do cba stand for ?

I am quite competent with a sewing machine and enjoy sewing BUT having to have a full time, demanding job, long hours, bringing work home etc I would have chosen to buy a costume rather than cut into valuable time available to spend with my son. I would say best to keep blanket observations to yourself!

I was in £land today. They had a range of Christmas dressing up sets for £5.00. Yes, they are flimsy, but they will only be worn for a few weeks, but at that price who could make them cheaper?

I'm guessing it means ' Can't be assed '' Elllie

I think I was/am a bit sad that some parents (not all, before some of you jump down my throat) are not 'making memories'. I dislike the way that expression is associated with Facebook 'yummy mummies' but can't think of a better phrase at the mo. Memories can bring families together especially at this time of year ...... and yes I do know not everyone has happy childhood memories. ...... but I recall an evening last year only a few months after DH had died,DD brought out the family photo albums. There were lots of her and her sister clad in dressing gowns and tea cloths for the dreaded school nativities (neither of them ever got to be the Virgin Mary which produced tears and tantrums). Also,which I admit I have only vague recollections, seemingly endless school fancy dress competitions. DD2 looked at her 7 year-old self dressed as Sherlock Holmes and said 'OFGS...... I'm wearing Dad's deer stalker hat, a cape made out of one of your old tweed skirts and Grandad's pipe! I won't mention what she said about being a Jack-in the - Box the next year, except she did say I would probably be reported for being racist. We laughed a lot, DDs, GCs and me, we cried a little, at those bittersweet memories. They are the things you can't throw cash at .
And I'm sorry Monica, but when you saw those £5 Christmas outfits in Poundland did you spare a thought for the sweatshop workers who had made them?

My Mum was a good dressmaker but I only remember her making costumers for Girls Brigade, not school. I don't remember making any costumes for my boys school. My DGDs mother doesn't make or buy costumes. The kids have a lot of non uniform days but dressing up for specific occasions is apparently optional.
I can sew but have no imagination how to make up things from any oddments at home. I help with homework now but when it's art and we have to find appropriate items to make something, I end up going shopping. It's lack of imagination rather than lack of money or time for me.

You've presumed a fair bit. As a modern parent with 2 children at school I can promise you, we don't have it easy either. Let me share what im upto..

In the next few weeks we have a play, 2 Carol concerts (for both children on the same day and different times), a nativity play, a film night, a disco, Christmas jumper day, a book share, the Christmas fayre and letters to Santa, I need to send in glue, cardboard boxes for 1 child, joggers for another, I need to order both of their Christmas dinners and pay for them by a certain date then they break up at lunch time.
Not to mention all the Christmas 'bits' we want to do on a weekend when they are off.

That doesn't include parents evening, muffty day, school trips (for both kids, and paying for them too, sometimes £20 a time, each) other book shares, afternoons parents are invited in, red nose day, children in need, world book day (both need costumes and money for that) random discos, days when they are baking, after school clubs, homework, school projects and so on.

That's just at school. Not the stuff we manage to do outside of school with the children.

Cba? If bloody only

Not too thrilled about the reference to the “soft southern end of the country”, where I have lived and brought up my children, making clothes, toys and costumes for plays and dance displays, while working and running the home. Fortunately for me, my children are appreciative of all my efforts. Beware rash generalisations.

Blimey Violetfloss ... whatever school do your kids go to? My Ds aren't run half as ragged as you. And you've only got TWO I would suggest you get off the treadmill asap. Which one of the Yummy mummies from 'Motherland' are you ....?

Not meaning to be rude Violet, but impressed you've got time for us old Grannies as well !

Violetfloss its an age thing,things always look different/better when seen from a distance.Memories become scewed and people see things in a very different way than they did at the time .My kids were born in the 70's and 80's and I didn't know ANY stay at home mums ,just frazzled women trying to juggle their priorities...just like you.I'm sure you're doing a grand job ,dont let the rose tinted specs brigade get you down .Maybe you ...and I will get like that someday .

My kids were born in the 70's and 80's and I didn't know ANY stay at home mums ,just frazzled women trying to juggle their priorities...just like you.

Yes, my experience too. Life was a frazzled blur most of the time. Many of my friends were working mothers too. I think we were the generation most scorned for going out to work - as if we were somehow not prioritising our children. The truth was working paid for us to get the roof repaired (not have a damp house) and allowed us to run the central heating (keep it reasonably warm.) Going to work wasn't about choice. It was about necessity and having funds. My children didn't suffer as I feared they might. They are well adjusted adults and we are close.

Wow Violetfloss! That school has so many extra curricular activities! I think unreasonable demands are being made of parents . There are only so many hours in the day.

I used to hate Book Days when mine had to dress up as a character from a book. They were all at the same primary school so deciding on and creating costumes for them all was a real headache (and I secretly loathed the Head Teacher for getting the kids to do SO MUCH that involved parents.) "Just teach 'em!" I used to think, but only because I was permanently shattered and being asked to make yet more effort.

My GD has dance classes and the club regularly puts on shows. They are extravaganzas really and hundreds of very professional costumes are made when they perform at a local theatre. Throughout the year parents pay into a costume fund as well as paying fees and then their little ones are turned out beautifully at showtime. The costumes are made by a team of volunteers and the dance teachers, so there is no last minute pressure on parents.

Given schools seem to do so much these days which requires dressing up, (why???) perhaps it's time a small 'costume fee' was required from parents. The school could organise its own team of volunteer costume makers. They'd need a wardrobe room, but over the years the stock of costumes would build up and could be re-used/adapted.

It would save parents time, money and pressure.

I'm another poster who had children in the early 70's and 80's. I was a so called sahm for 2years, during which I typed the evenings away to make some necessary cash. I dislike attempts to set one generation of women against another.

Interestingly, no one has mentioned the levels of depression, anxiety and isolation amongst sahm's in the golden years. Prescriptions for valium led to addiction amongst many women I seem to recall. I'm not criticising women/men who are happy and can afford to be sahp's but it wasn't all happy days for many people or their children.

Something that always annoys me is the casual media assumption that today's grandmothers were all sahms. Like others I had my children in the early 70s.

There were none of the child care facilities that are available now, especially for the under 5s. No nurseries, Playgroup 3 mornings a week if you could afford it. Many of us moved well away from family so could not look to family for help with childcare. Nevertheless, it didn't stop most of us working. I went back to work part time when my DD was 4 and full time when she was 9

I juggled work and childcare and, for two years, a day release course as well with little or no childcare help at all except DH, who was also working. I was fortunate to have a flexible job and an understanding manager for the first 5 years, which helped enormously.