Thank yous

Morning everybody! I have very mixed feelings on this topic. In my humble opinion if no thanks prompts no repeat gift, then the gift wasn't given with an open heart in the first place. Yes, I like to be thanked. It warms my heart, gives me an opportunity of personal communication with the recipient and confirms that the gift has actually arrived. The lack of thanks would certainly not stop me from giving whatever I want to next year. I do not give to get thanks. However, it does seem that I'm very much in the minority according to the responses here.

I totally agree it does matter, it’s all part of life, dealing with people, being kind & thoughtful, & dare I say respectful, a word that the younger generation appear to be smitten with, if only they understood the true meaning!
Just to acknowledge receipt, surely shouldn’t be to much to expect!

It’s complex isn’t it. On one hand if they don’t thank, dont give in future. Sounds easy, but of course people not only like giving they like having a small influence in the others lives and gifts can do that. So denying the thanks feels like more of a rejection.
And yet these receivers sometimes feel manipulated that they are only being given these gifts to get attention which annoys them. There is not a clear answer.
I love buying my only gc both girls 3 and five, the occasional piece of clothing. Not only do I never see them in the clothes I am not thanked either. I stopped sending, guessing it just wasn’t welcomed by my unfriendly dil. I cannot imagine being so rude. But there you go.
I will stop again, having bought this Xmas even in front of me, no thanks, (the girls of course just want the next present that isn’t boring clothes.)
I can sometimes prise a thanks out of my son, when he will send me vid showing them with said present.
I do feel that as she has deprived me of their company, except for two or three days a year, that the acceptance of my occasional gifts would be kind. It is hard sometimes not to hate her. Is that what she wants? Beats me.
I have learned to live without them enjoying the occasional picture or video sent by son. Things could always be worse. But we can sometimes let off steam to each other!

Over Christmas I sent 2 emails to companies praising staff service. I worked in retail and people are always ready to complain but rarely take time to praise good service. I do hope the companies passed on our comments to the staff it makes the job so much better when there's a positive comments rather than complaint. My children are grown up but still send/email thanks for gifts

I emailed Morrisons customer service dept. to tell them about a young employee who noticed me struggling with my shopping and offered to pack my car. He then told me to ask for him if I was struggling in the future.
A few days later, I got a phone call from Morrisons customer service team thanking me for taking the time to email, as people usually email with complaints, not praise. I was quite surprised at this.
He then informed me that the young man's manager would be speaking to him to acknowledge this.

It is sometimes difficult to encourage youngsters to send their thanks for gifts. My ploy was to save some of their special drawings and make into a card - then add a thank you.

Just written my 'thank you's' - snail mail!!

I received thank you e mails from my four teenage Grandchildren it was really heart warming.

Well this is dear to my heart I have four grandchildren and hardly get a thank you at Christmas so unlike the way I thought I had brought mine up!!

I had a thank you card from my 3 year old great nephew. He had drawn a bunch of flowers and a big X and his mum had written his name. I really appreciated it and it's nice to know that he is being taught to say thank you

Years ago I always had my children send thank you notes for all gifts received.
Now their children all do the same and I’m so proud of them for doing the right thing.
FYI: I also stopped sending gifts to any niece/nephew who didn’t send me a thank you note for 2 consecutive years. Hard to do, but rather than it making me feel annoyed, I just stopped giving. Made my life easier.

My answer to this is that, when in the past I have received no acknowledgement of gifts, I have stopped sending them!

I have to admit liking acknowledgement of the gift I have snet.
Both DSs are good, but DD is terrible. [Ditto for DGCs...] When a substantial sum is placed in her a/c, I have to chase it up. All 3 were brought up the same!

My GC usually send thank you letters (prompted by parents) but, as others have said , nephews & neices children never reply so I don't even know if they received them. I'm happy with an email or phone call (dont demand a long handwritten letter ) but to hear nothing is rude and makes me feel like not bothering in the future.

Should I start a "it is nice to be nice" thread?

This morning I asked a young woman filling the shelves in the supermarket advice about an item I was going to buy. She gave me a very good reply, and I thanked her.
I saw her again a few minutes later and she was still smiling.

I was really chuffed when DGS said he had to say a special thank you to a dear friend of mine who gave him a lovely Paddington book suitcase for Christmas. A lovely set in a little carry case.
He has made her a card to give her when he sees her next.
No prompting either he is 5.

It's just polite to phone or send a thank you card but unfortunately people don't always do it now.

Glad to hear at least some are still being thanked. It has never been easier, cheaper or quicker to communicate so no excuse. After all trite as it sounds "it is nice to be nice".
Wishing you all a happy and healthy new year.

I used to send to widespread family but stopped when I received no thanks from either youngsters or parents for a few years. I wouldn't give up on my nearest and dearest - one GC failed to send thanks during teenage years (though DS and DIL thanked on their behalf) but since he's got older I've had the most delightful notes.

It means so much to be thanked - text, phone, or snail mail works! My grands all live in the US so they make a point of thanking me during the holiday call(s). The daughter's oldest is teaching his younger sisters to say thank-you - last week I heard him urging each girl to be sure to say something to Gran about their gifts. My oldest grandson (son's lad) made sure to say something Christmas Day but I was surprised and very pleased to also receive an email with photos of him using what he'd bought with the Amazon voucher I sent.

Their parents? Erm, well, despite a bit of a rough patch on-going between my son and his ex-but-possibly-back-to-current-wife, both emailed immediately on receipt, and also said thank-you over the Skype Christmas call, as did my SIL.

My daughter? No. I did chase her down as the Amazon voucher was redeemed within minutes (really, less than five!) of it hitting her inbox and I was afraid it had been hijacked. It took 2 days for her to answer my frantic 'Did you get the voucher?!' email. I'd be more hurt but she's always been this way - from around aged five she's been asking why I'm the mum and she's the daughter

Telly

You'd surely know that they received it, if it was transferred from your own bank with a note attached which shows the name of creditor.
If they're rude enough to ignore sending thanks or ringing personally, then I wouldn't send anythin g next year. If you have to push for an acknowledgement of a gift then the thanks are not worth JS and nor are they.

I had a lovely FaceTime message from my daughter yesterday; she lives in New Zealand and called to not only thank me for her family's Christmas gifts, but to say how much she appreciates the thought I put into what I buy. I often buy my granddaughter books about diggers and cars or planets and dinosaurs - also science or construction based toys and games; she is learning Spanish so I often buy familiar children's books in dual languages for her too. My daughter is trying to raise her little girl to be equally interested in things more usually thought of as for boys. I had to smile when I saw that my granddaughter was wearing a beautiful pink knitted cardigan, but the buttons were all little cars.

My dear niece sent a lovely heartfelt message to me in a card thanking me for helping to support her through uni. It brought a lump to my throat.

I had to chase up recipients to see if the had received or noticed the quite generous sums placed in their accounts. To be honest I wonder if I should bother.