Or even a bit precious? Mother of the Bride outfit.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You are making the assumption that thinner is always more beautiful. It definitely isn’t and as others have said, this is the brides day. Just find something you enjoy wearing that fits the occasion and enjoy the day.

I would ditch the original plan, choose something completely different and let your 'friend' and her respective friend fight it out between themselves and in future keep your ideas a secret. This from someone who spent £200 on a hat for daughter's wedding and never wore it again ?

Marion I don't think you are being precious at all and I imagine many of us appreciate that when photos are taken you'll want to look good. As MOB you'll feature in lots of front row ones, so the outfit IS important. And yes, I worry that my shape isn't what it was and try to half cover myself in photos by edging in behind someone else! The MOB cannot do this, so yes, dilemma.

You haven't bought an outfit yet, so stop worrying about what the other woman will be wearing at her wedding. Keep an open mind and keep looking. Find a colour that suits and jazz up your outfit with lovely jewelry, good accessories and freshly done hair and make-up - all things to give you confidence.

One of the nicest wedding outfits ever was worn by a dear friend a few years ago. She went for a dark violet dip-dyed cheesecloth dress that hung loosely over her figure and wore it with an enormous hat and big dangly earrings. She smiled brightly in all the photos and really looked fabulous. It wasn't conventional but looked quite sophisticated. She received lots of compliments and the outfit didn't break the bank.

Good luck.

I wish I was size 14.

W11girl that was cruel and unnecessary. If you feel like that why say anything at all?

Some posters need to take a chill poll.

I never read anything so ridiculous...glad you haven't got anything too serious worry about!

I was mob 2 years ago and as someone who never wears dresses I was stumped in the end I wore a lovely dress with matching jacket that I bought in matalent and felt amazing no one knew where it was from and no one cared and I didn't spend a fortune on something that will probably never see light of day again. Worn the jacket loads

No I dont feel you are being precious at all. Its all about self respect and enjoyment of life. Perhaps you could think about seeing an image consultant or just having a good time trying different clothes on in different shops.
It is a very special day and people will look at the photos for years!
But the most important thing is the smile on your face.

The shop wasn't in Alnwick was it? That's where I bought a few things from...

When DS got married I bought two outfits, one a trouser suit and the other a dress and coat. I opted for the silk trouser suit that had a very flattering Nehru jacket but did wear the other outfit when staying in a chateau and required a posh frock. I bought my outfits in a small market town in Northumberland that stocked quite unusual Italian garments, so impressed I went back to get my outfit for the palace.
I kept all the garments but have not been able to fit into them for a few years now.

Yet again feeling glad my older two never bothered with weddings, got lovely partners - DD 17 years, DS 10 and each with 2 beautiful children. Funnily enough I think our youngest DS might though, I'm happy either way.

Farmor; me too. Bought a grey and red silk dress in a sale and then couldn't get a jacket/shrug etc to match it. Spent a fortune buying things I thought would be suitable and then didn't even wear it. Have put on so much weight recently none of those dresses fit me anyway . I tended to look for last years fashion so I wouldn't end up wearing the same dress as someone else.

I have wardrobes full of clothes I've bought for weddings, even though I've only been to a handful over the past few years. I think it's down to lack of confidence. I'd buy something and then find something I thought was better. With my childrens' weddings the reason I was so paranoid was that I felt that the only time future generations might see me was on the traditional wedding photo [oh, so that's what great great granny looked like!] so I wanted to look my best. Another wedding, I thought my ex husbands new girlfriend was coming so I wanted to look great . In the end, she never came. The only time I was really happy was at my daughters wedding where she took me in hand and got me to wear a Hobbs suit for the ceremony, and I then went 'hippy chic' [sp] for the evening do. I thought I looked fantastic in the last minute dress I bought for my son's wedding [I'd already bought several more] but I was bulging out everywhere in the wedding photos . I should have stuck with the original dress.

Someone had told me that it was a good idea to consult with other mother so MoB and MoG weren’t wearing similar. I did that- dropping to her house for chat and described my dress (which I had bought half price in sale previous summer). I hadn’t yet got jacket and other accessories, but when I showed her photo of dress she said she might have jacket to suit. Turned out it was exact match- Jacques Vert brand. She had also bought in sale but hadn’t worn.
She also lent me a fascinator and bag (she had been given by a neighbour who’s a shopaholic! )
Sounds like I’m stingy, but it saved me an awful lot of trouble traipsing through shops. We all looked well and I told everyone about my borrowed items.
I’ve made that mistake before- buying a nice dress in sale and not having jacket to match- end up paying more than if got all together to start with.
Don’t know if any other bride’s mother here borrowed from groom’s!

and have to take off after the photos, slinging it into the bin in the cloakroom?

I might be wrong but isn’t ‘shape underwear’ those things you struggle to get into and break all your fingernails getting out of?

Yes, work your curves as someone said upthread, at a size 14 you don’t need shape underwear. And accessorise with flair.

Get some 'shape' underwear it does make a difference. I found Hobbs to be very good for MOB outfits.

You will get to wear yours first - it will look as if she is copying you, which she is, to anyone who sees both sets of pics. You will look like you and she will look like herself. When the day comes your mind will be on other things anyway

My dil helped me choose what we thought was suitable for my other sons wedding. He told me it wasn't smart enough and made me buy a much more expensive one. Dil has never spoken to him or his wife since. I thought she over reacted but she won't relent.

I have been MOG twice and am going to be MOB next year.

Personally I would take your experience as lessoned learned and don’t tell others what you are wearing or where from, but do check that you and MOG are not wearing similar.

When buying your outfit make sure you are going to feel comfortable and are not going to be constantly adjusting and checking it , shoes need to be comfortable and at a height you are used to and the hat well the hat is something else. I kknow this all sounds obvious but once you are in that changing room all common sense goes out of the window actively encouraged by the sales person.
Enjoy your daughters wedding day and the camera will reflect your happiness not your dress size.

I had two pairs of smart shoes, heels to wear for the ceremony and meal, flats to change into for the evening and dancing.
I did that too and was very thankful for the lower-heeled sandals for the evening as you may also find you spend a lot of time walking around and chatting to all the guests after the formal meal.

Go for the dress you like and don't worry about anything else. If you want a mob outfit then have it! Go and try what you've seen on. There's just a chance that it won't be right. If it is get it. Do you have a trusted girlfriend you can take with you. I took a good friend who is 20 yrs younger than me and it worked well. Could your daughter go with you? Just a few ideas. Yes it is your daughters day but you're her mum. Good luck x