Gransnet makes me feel lonely

I wonder how many others, like me, type out a carefully considered post, send it then realise it's right at the bottom of the page (the graveyard slot) and the conversation will move gaily on without your post being noticed.

It's even more infuriating when the next people to comment write exactly the same stuff.

All part and parcel of forum life. I closed about three threads when I first joined probably because I changed my username and just charged back in where I left off without explaining.

They must of thought, Who the heck's that??

Hi again, so glad my post has opened up a discussion- sorry my username seems gloomy - it was meant to be lighthearted - and I don’t think I can change it anyway! I agree with BlueBell that a “like” button would be a great idea, so often I read posts but others have already commented and things have moved on so I don’t bother to contribute.

Great thread. Well done Jam. It certainly makes you stop and think. I am quite recent but have found I love dropping in and out of what interests me in this site. I think it can offer fantastic support too. Let's try to remember to respect, include and share together in a way our parents never could. How isolating life must have been for so many in the past.

monica
My chemistry teacher once wrote on my homework
'A good succinct account.'
I was only 11 and had to look the word up in the dictionary.

I was always outside the 'in group', but never actually wanted to be part of it
Yes - rather like Groucho Marx

Keep posting, jamsidedown. Other posters have suggested some threads to try to get going with. I like the good morning thread, chat, ask a gran, AIBU, in particular, and dabble in others as the mood takes me. I hope the replies so far are encouraging you to keep going. ??

Hello and welcome Jam. See, your post has had lots of replies, so no, you are not invisible. I also kill a thread stone dead at times, but that may just be timing

PS I love your name too jam

I think I remember a thread not too long ago about feeling invisible on threads!

It wasn't about nobody replying though. It was about someone posting some information and then later someone else would also post that information, only then to be thanked by others for it!

It's funny how we can be sensitive to these things!

Hi Jamsidedown great GN name.
My first post in 2015 was on the politics thread.
Yikes! I immediately had a nasty remark made to me personally.
Had it not been for another (regular) poster leaping to my defence it would probably have been my first and last GN post.
All that is in the past I love GN.

I have had so much useful advice on the health site.
The information given on the travel site re places to visit whilst holiday has been great, better than any travel brochure.

I look on GN as a magazine.
The active threads as the index.
Then read what in think will be of interest to me.
GN is a virtual world but amazingly it has some very supportive and caring virtual members

JAM You have opened a very interesting thread.
So now onwards and upwards

I fully understand how you feel, I am the same. I have been on here for 2or 3 years now and still feel an outsider. I know I should post more, but have that tendency to think no one will be interested in what I have to say. Must try harder

I think jamsidedown is a great name as that’s what always happens please don’t read more into that I love bluebells but I don’t nod my head all the time ?

I think a ‘like’ button would be such an improvement as you may not always want to comment but that would just be a simple encouragement ( you don’t need a ‘not like’ button)

Loopyloo also has a point!

Molly - Very wise post!

I agree with other who have said lurking will get you know where jam . But I also wonder at the expectations we might have that a post with no response means no one cares- what about if its as simple as no-one has anything to offer?

Or that after we post a thread seems to die - or has it run its natural course.

I'm afraid Ive never seen your username before but is that because you mostly lurked or have different interests to me? its not that I don't 'like' you its that we simply have not had the chance to get to know each other.

Start easy, wander into *soops8 kitchen, no-one is ever ignored and a warm welcome is guaranteed. After you have been plied with virtual cake and offered a friendly pet to cuddle everything else falls into place

It only a superficial thing but can I just that your name jam side down is perhaps just a little bit gloomy. Perhaps Sunnyside up or something like that might make a bit of a difference. Do you feel that on the whole your life has been jam side down? If so perhaps gransnet can cheer you up.

I have never really felt like that - sometimes people respond to my threads, sometimes not. It is all the same to me. They probably have something else to do!

But I have to say that there have been times when I have gained enormous support - there has been kindness and useful advice freely given; and on the couple of occasions when I have posted when in distress, the response has been immediate and positive.

Just jump on in and do not let it get to you if sometimes you do not get much response.

jam I remember your name from your previous posts. As others have said, I think a lot of us felt the same as you when we first 'signed up'. I'm very shy in RL and am not much better on here!

Some GNetters may appear cliquey, but that's only because they've been on here for a long time, and/or have met up in RL, so it's only natural for a newbie to feel a little bit on the outside of things.

I ventured into the Games thread to ease myself in gradually and just generally get the hang of things. One of my first posts on a different thread was greeted with a personal comment, which nearly put me off ever posting again, but then I realised that this particular poster was fairly blunt with their comments to everyone

I've also managed to kill off numerous threads over the years, which is also disconcerting to start with, but is just part of GN life.

Hope you feel that you can carry on being part of GN. There's so much knowledge, wisdom, kindness and wit on here that the positives far outweigh any negatives.

Of course, if you'd rather be doing the hoovering, washing, de-cluttering . . . . .

I've been a member for some years but don't 'know' people. I come and go depending on what is going on in my 'real' life.

If you think you have posted something worthwhile why not add another comment which will get your post back on the Last Hour for a different set of people to look at?

I am sure I am not alone in not looking at every post, not many would have the time for that. I don't like posting on a thread unless I have at least skim read all the posts so I don't even start reading some of the very long threads and only look at I'm On or Last Hour so probably miss lots of threads but life is too important to worry about what I might have missed.

Maybe only start a post when you know you will have time to go back and look at it for the next few hours?

haha if all us ‘ outsiders’ got together we d have a big ole club
Let’s do it x

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time and trouble to respond to this - and i am surprised - although maybe I shouldn’t be - at the many people who share my feelings. Maybe I just need to develop a thicker skin! Have a good day everyone.

Totally agree with what everyone has said. I was always the last to be picked for team games at school as well and have also deleted more posts than I have posted but if I feel I have something to contribute then I will.

jamsidedown welcome and sympathies, but the others are right - jump in, then people will recognise your name. Lurking has its uses though, you get used to the threads and familiarise yourself with names. I'm a returner, and though I joined in 2011 I left a couple of years ago and I too am nervous of posting, and I do seem to kill threads.
Keep going and good luck

Aww, if you delete and not post you will never know ?

I had composed a response to this, then scrolled up and saw that janeainswqorth had said what all that I intended to say but more succinctly

All that I would add, is that you become a member of a community like GN by posting. No-one ever became part of a group by standing outside and deciding not to join in.

And no-one ever wanted me in their team at school and I was always outside the 'in group', but never actually wanted to be part of it.

Bellasnana - I do that a lot, thought better of it and deleted my typing as I think no one will be interested. I'm getting braver though now and a bit thicker skinned. If I feel strongly about something I will post it.