To feel left out?

How on earth can the bride's mother be a bridesmaid without looking a total chump as well as quite ridiculous since she is clearly not a maid in the true sense having had at least one child. Perhaps she was left disappointed as a child? Rise above the whole thing and be the glamorous grown up and make sure that your DGDs have the chance to be dressed really beautifully so that they feel very special. That goes for DD too so that the ladies in your DS's family really do him proud.

Wear something glamorous, sit back and enjoy it. Be thankful you are not doing the legwork and all the arrangements. I thoroughly enjoyed DS's wedding as I didn't have to lift a finger, didn't cost me a penny and left me enough to splurge on a very expensive outfit.

And wear something lovely!

Your son is going to be so proud of his lovely caring Mum,whilst you support each other with a knowing look, occasional gritting of teeth , & a bit of a wry smile. Just enjoy it allxx

Thank you cornergran and I'm sorry you experienced similar. X

I thought it a little odd myself, but my fdil is very close to her family, a little too much for my son's liking ?.

I do understand happygran, it is hard being the Mum of boys sometimes, but you know not always, there are positives too. I did feel a similar way about one, much more included in the other. I think the key is not to have too many expectations, if there’s something you really want, or indeed don’t want, then say so but gently. If there’s something you are particularly interested in then offer to help/pay for/support in whatever way is appropriate. Be quietly interested in it all. I would have loved to be involved in wedding dress fittings, but wasn’t, I hope my disappointment didn’t show. Grumble away here, it’s good to vent, but don’t let it impact relationships. It’s just a few hours from a lifetime. Choose something you feel good in, be relaxed on the day (no pressures on you),enjoy it all, please don’t let disappointment spoil anything.

Well I did wear beige.

I have never heard of a bride's mother being bridesmaid - very odd!

Keep smiling! [smile
Yes dear, that sounds lovely

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Bless you and thanks. ?

Invest in some rigid underwear ?& practice breathing in ?but more importantly really hope you enjoy it best wishes ?

That’s so funny Pensionpat, ( I bet / hope you didn’t!)

pensionpat!

Thank you Bridgeit, I am trying hard to lose some weight!

Sounds about right Pat

Ps, I am sure you will look gorgeous,enjoy the day
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I was told when my first son got married the role of the grooms mother was to wear beige and keep your mouth shut.

Thanks for the replies. I won't say anything or let it spoil our relationship, it's just hard being the mum of boys sometimes.

Must add, I understand how you feel ( been there, got the tshirt!)

Thank you for the flowers missadventure. X

It’s what happens when a son gets married Happygran and very different when your daughter marries.
You have to shrug it off.

Yes that saying is very true, I only have one daughter and we are very close, she isn't a believer in marriage though so I doubt I will ever see her as a bride! ?. I've already been through this with one son but at least my daughter was bridesmaid then, I also have a younger son who was recently engaged! Aaarrgh!!

I think you must try and swallow this resentment, because it will get you off on the wrong foot with them. And that would not be constructive, especially as at some point you could be sharing grandchildren.

It is clear that your future DIL has a close relationship with her family and has involved her Mum and sisters; just as your son has involved his brothers.

I think you need to go with the flow on this - or offer some service that you and/or your DD could do - perhaps help with the flowers, the music or some other aspect of the ceremony...."I would love to do XYZ for you both...."

I am sure this is just thoughtlessness as she is caught up in the excitement of it all. Please don't let it sour your future relationships with her.

Enjoy the wedding!

Ah, it does sound rather hurtful, even if its not deliberate. Have a moan here, get it off your chest. Its a shame your grandchildren and daughter haven't been included in the special roles too.