to be asked to contribute?

That sounds unreasonable to me. I wouldn’t contribute £15 to a gift in those circumstances. Is it a new group that you’ve just joined, have all the others known each other for longer?

In your shoes I would offer a fiver and explain your situation just as you have on here. People who can afford such money are often simply unthinking and I doubt would take umbrage.

It's an established group - an acquaintance told me her friend was in a bookclub and set it up for me. I get the impression some of them have known each other for a long time but I didn't get a chance to chat with many of them. The couple I sat next to were very welcoming and not clichey at all.

£15 is a lot of money. Unless the others are all very good friends it seems a huge amount for a leaving gift. I would suggest a reply like the explanation you gave here and make a small donation or say you will give her a small gift yourself (nice bookmark or something).

Just as others have said. Explain that you are happy to make a token gesture to the leaving gift but can't afford £15 considering you barely know the lady.

A token gift and a card will certainly suffice and I'm sure it will be appreciated by the lady.

Yes, I think all those comments are dead right. £15 is a huge amount to spend on someone you have only met once. It's a shame you've been put in this awkward position though, the person asking should have realised that this really wasn't on. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

I have never heard of such huge contribution to a simple leaving gift ! As has been said just explain you cannot afford more than £1 -£2. Even that would be too much for folk who are on only the basic old age pension and who want to join the group.

That is a ridiculous sum of money requested even if you had known her a while. I do not see why you contribute anything other than maybe a card especially as you have never had any dealings with her.

Perhaps the email went out to all the members of the book club automatically. Just ignore it.

I'm really at the amount requested, even if you'd been a member for a longer time! It would be far more diplomatic and sensitive to have a collection bag/box/whatever and let people donate the amount they wish. Even long-term members may feel rather ambushed!

I agree that £15 is a lot, even if you knew her better and had been in the group for a while. It would have been better to just ask for contributions rather than setting a figure.

I do think you should just say that you are happy to give £x as finances are tight and leave it at that.

What a peculiar position for you to find yourself in.

I agree. Either ignore it and they can assume what they like or explain why you don't feel you can contribute so much.

If you ignore it and someone chases you then simply explain why you don't feel £15 is appropriate and that you would rather do a small thing yourself than contribute less than the others as that would be unfair to those who had contributed the full amount. No one could object to that but they might to you giving less than everyone else.

I'll bet you are not alone.

Just ignore the request.

Even in an established group I wouldn’t give £15 and for someone I d only met once for a brief chat I m afraid I would ignore it totally surely with most ‘group buys’ it’s either left to you to put what you can in or given a small token amount like £2 or £5 at the most
I certainly wouldn’t give her a personal card and/or gift as you don’t know her at all

Blimey - I must be tighter than tight. If I'd only met her once, and had no more than a brief chat with her, I wouldn't be contributing anything at all.

Not wishing to sound unkind, but she would mean nothing to me, and wouldn't leave any kind of a gap by not being there.

It would be different if I'd known her for a long time. But even then I think £15 for a leaving present is a lot. Donations should be voluntary and only what the donor wishes to give.

And I don't think you should be justifying why you can't/won't donate or if you do choose to donate, justifying the amount you give.

I totally agree Hurdygurdy my feelings also

I would just give a card

I know how you feel where I work we are often asked to contribute to presents for those I hardly know .I am on a small income compared to other colleagues so I either just give what I can afford or if it's someone I know well I buy my own small gift .Don't stress about it if these people don't accept this then maybe it says a lot about the type of people they are.

I would expect it's an email that just got sent to everyone, I would either just ignore it or reply saying you've only just joined and so don't feel able to contribute, I think anyone would understand that. It is a lot of money though even if you had been there a while.

Was it a "round robin" request, just sent to the whole group without much thought? In which case the advice above is right and appropriate and you wouldn't be expected to contibute much, if any.

I hate it when collections do the rounds and you are asked to give a certain amount. Peoples financial situations can vary so much - you should be asked to contribute what you feel is appropriate for you

I would imagine the email was a round-robin one for all the members of the group. I'm sure none of them would expect you to contribute so much after such a short acquaintance. A carefully chosen bookmark or a couple of pounds would be fair in my view. Explain if you feel you should, but please don't feel under pressure. x