indispensableme Hurrah! Someone who thinks like me!! I had a terrible first birth - baby given up for dead by midwife, I nearly died, then the second not quite so bad, but bad enough so that the extremely experienced midwife took husband aside and lectured him on how bad it had been. Then third delivery worse than that one- baby apparently dead, haemorrhage again - all the paraphernalia. On third time I was home 10 hours later and had to get up for people next door to let in their repair man. With second one I was home next day to an empty house, husband had no paternity leave then! First child - we were both kept in 10 days, then I was home to do it alone as husband went back to work 6 days a week.
Did my mother come and stay at all? Do pigs fly? I don't recommend new mums being alone in first 10 days, mind you - too dangerous. But a month?? Why a whole month when there are no problems? It sounds crazy to me and as it's a first child and it's not as if they have big brother/sister to look after, it sounds selfish, not letting the new little family bond together.
I'm troubled too because I think a lot of these replies are quite nasty, even when cloaked in seemingly sweet language. People make masses of assumptions, such as that Newbiedoobie is operating entirely out of jealousy. People tell her what her son would prefer her to do, but surely she's the one who knows him best. He sounds like a very good natured guy to me, by the way, Newby.
Even if you think Newbydooby is best leaving things as they are, which I do, but not necessarily for the same reasons others give, surely you can be KIND to her? I thought we were a collectively supportive lot. Of course we all do things differently. That's why asking GN is valuable - lots of views. But ideas and views are what people look for, not judgement and condemnation. Writing an AIBU isn't easy. Explaining a situation briefly while upset is terribly hard, so please don't pounce on people and interrogate them, or lecture them about what you have judged to be their "wrongs". Do not read into them motives you might have had yourself. Most of all do not assume these are their motives. You do not really know anything like enough about this person to judge them the way some of you have been doing. If I am coming across as lecturing you now, it is only because I am frustrated by the unpleasant tone that some people take against others and the way they pick on perhaps only one thing in the script to criticise and deride. It is cruel.
I love your comment Brigidsdaughter.