Feeling weary with friends demands

OP I'm astounded she's 58 and can't cook or clean or do anything for herself. That's appalling. I'd be equally appalled by a 58 year old man in that position. It's not rocket science.

But if she is that infantile and has enough money I would tell her to get another cleaner or two, and a gardener. I'd also be asking if there's a Power of Attorney to be done and a bank to go to since she and her mother sound the sort of person who wouldn't know if they were scammed or not.

Hanna, whilst not dismissing suicide threats, I find it odd that your friend/employer states that if anything happened to her mother she would hang her self from the beams. This woman's mother, at the least will be in her late seventies,
It is in the natural order of things that the majority of us will lose our parents before we shuffle off ourselves.
Is this woman a bit of a drama queen?

If she does not or cannot cook or clean and she has not got a job, what does this fit 58 year old actually do all day?

One step at a time, OP - but instead of sorting out gardeners/new cleaner/housekeeper/delivered food, you could actually give her the brochures and get her to make the calls. I feel some sympathy for this woman as clearly you do - going from a cushioned life with a DH who does everything to being a widow with an elderly mother in the house and few friends.

I would suggest agencies for everything - she sounds the sort of person who could be taken advantage of - at least with an agency everyone is or should be CRB checked. I'd also be concerned about her mother - clearly some help twice a week but will she get anything to eat once the NDN stops providing?