I've had the most extraordinary conversation

Her friend becoming a grandmother has probably stirred up emotions that have been buried. I would feel sorry for her but also as she kept he daughters secret in not telling a father she probably felt that she had let down I would be concerned both at her breaking that childs confidence and also that she herself has never had any support to deal with her feelings about it.

I’ve got myself confused (not difficult!), was it the person you were speaking to whose daughter didn’t go through with the pregnancy or is it the mutual friends daughter who is now pregnant who didn’t go through with an earlier pregnancy? Either way I feel for the poor girl, bad enough having to make that decision without thinking that people might be gossiiing. As others have said, just try to forget it.

I hope she's not on gransnet.

I wouldn't say she was 'wrong' to reveal the secret and she may well have regretted saying anything afterwards. Sometimes these things just get blurted out - sometimes it's a relief to tell someone, and I would take it as a compliment that she felt she could tell you. As so many have said, forget the conversation.

Forget it. It may have been a significant date, or maybe it was the friend becoming a gran, something had brought it all back to her. You happened to be there and she talked to you. She may well regret that. You can best help her by letting it go.

Seen this thread before but just looking at threads and read this as: I've had the most extraordinary conversion! Think its time I took a break!

Many years ago I had a termination. The doctor insisted on telling my mother but my father never knew. I didn’t have a good relationship with him and neither did my mother . To this day very few people know , no way should this lady have said anything

It's no longer a secret and she betrayed her daughters trust. A silly thing to do. Anyway if you ever meet the daughter or her father at any time obviously you wouldn't mention it so I guess no harm done. Strange how people can open up to strangers .......

You keep shtum. That is keep your gob shut! Do not talk about it. It is not your secret.

You just do not mention it to anyone including the the large numbers of gransnet readers who might just decide to carry on gossiping about it.

You should then hope that GNHQ will not try to put this revelation on the the front of one of GNHQs new facebook pages and suggest they join in the public conversations about this.
Do not say "but lots of other people now know about it."

I had a baby adopted in the 60s and never told my parents, relying on my siblings not to spill the beans to my mother, my father having died 10 years later. She lived well into her 90s and never was told. I was very scared of my parents and when asked why I had never run to my parents for help used to say that it would only give my mother another stick to beat me with. After she died I could at last be open about what was the most significant and heartbreaking decision of my life.
There are all sorts of reasons why secrets are kept and this lady was very wrong to divulge her daughter’s secret to anyone.

It strikes me that this 'friend' is definitely a contradiction in terms. To be avoided at all costs and next time you meet her you are in a tearing hurry and don't have the time to chat.
People who divulge others' secrets are somehow bragging about how well they know your mutual friends - you never know, she might invent something about you and spread it around.

I agree with merlin I suspect her close friend becoming a gran bought the past back to her, why she choose you? some of us seem to have that kind of face I think, over many years I have been told 'secrets' by complete strangers and people I hardly know. I am sure you will keep this to yourself but difficult for you when you meet your friend and wonder if she knows.

I was pressured into having an abortion when I was 17. My boyfriend (who later became my husband) had the same GP as me and she said I would ruin his future as he was about to go to university. My mother lent me the £150 needed to have the procedure. It took me years to pay her back. My future in laws knew nothing about this and they were never told.

I hope she hasn’t told the wrong person!. What does it matter if you bump into her husband, you keep quiet that’s what you do. If she had wanted him to know she would have told him herself.

Absolutely agree with other posters - keeping it from her husband and other family is perfectly understandable, sharing it with you, or anyone without her daughter's knowledge and approval, is completely indefensible. Please never, never pass it on to anyone in real life.

Exactly, keep quiet!
Sometimes we all say things that we really shouldn’t to friends and then regret it.
Forget all about it.

She is probably kicking herself for letting it slip. As a friend I would forget it.

I think it was a very odd revelation to make. I don't disapprove of abortion but it really isn't for anybody other than the person who had the abortion to divulge such information, unless there is a very good reason to do so.

Minerva Your post was so sad - it must have been terrible having to give up your baby for adoption because you had such unloving and unsupportive parents. I hope things have been better for you since.

I am in total agreement with Nelliemoser perhaps you should ask the 'powers that be 'to take this thread down before it moves to Facebook and/or the Daily Mail

Minerva I am so sorry

Hate being told secrets. I’m rubbish at keeping them.

For goodness sake...... call that a secret, it doesn’t come close. Abortion has lost its stigma the same as homosexuality. She didn’t know she could trust you and I presume she doesn’t care, to be quite honest most people wouldn’t blink an eye about it. Maybe her father is a little old-fashioned about this sort of thing and the mother just doesn’t want the bother of him finding out. It sounded a bit like ‘all girls together’ secret. Keep it! Men can be pains in the backside about most stuff !

I was just thinking. It may not even be true. It might be something someone way back in the grapevine made up.

petitpois I think it’s rather extraordinary that you decided to put this conversation on social media - it just perpetuates the gossip, doesn’t it.

If it is secret. It should stay secret. I carefully kept a family secret, which I had to be told, for six months from last summer until after Christmas. When the situation became critical I was told to let other family members know. I then discovered they had all been told via another route