Neighbours who would have (want) them!!!

Neighbours................yes been there,done that and learnt many a hard lesson in my lifetime!!
it has been a pleasure reading some of your uplifting stories about the great neigbourhood experiences you have had and I hope it continues like this for you.
However there are also far too many horror stories which literally have me racing for the escape route!!
We started married life on a brand new Council estate so were fortunate in having a choice little brand new 2 up/2 down with garden front and rear plus a garage.
The neighbours were a mixture of newly weds and oldies and to be honest we had nothing to complain...........or boast......about.
Then we moved to the private sector to a charming detached 3 bed bungalow,and from then on there were various neighbour issues.
Nothing too detrimental causing us to complain or move, but certainly it taught us how to preserve our own privacy at all costs.This proved a good grounding and a lesson that we carried through with every move.
Because we are both inclined to be loners,very private and reclusive we realised that it has been most important to keep to what makes us tick so we avoid "rocking the boat" as it were in any situation.In fact latterly, the moves have meant we have been fortunate enough to find the peace and privacy we so enjoy.
However it also means we have to be extremely diplomatic so as not to "step on the toes of others"...... realising that this world is made up of individuals, and we each have our own idiosyncrasies,so far better to take life very slowly and carefully wander through, without hopefully,upsetting anyone on the way.
For us two, living on a Desert Island is probably the perfect answer!!

My next door neighbour has kids the same age as mine and we have been to some local groups together.

She also has a father who is a convicted paedophile (we both grew up in this area and the victims, her friends at the time, are known to us both). Of course the family does not believe it at all, it was a terrible miscarriage of justice, etc etc.

So the father frequents the house next door most days.

She often invites my toddlers over to play with hers. You know, without me, in the house where the child molester is sitting playing with the toys too.

Not f'ing likely, to quote my father on this point.

I have lovely helpful neighbours, unfortunately my closest neighbour had a stroke recently, but is doing well,I hope she can come back home and never have to leave.

As you said at the end of your post that it is no wonder you wish to move, perhaps you've expressed that view to someone and they have repeated it.

My dear Mum is in her late 80's & has some nice-ish neighbours who I appreciate keep an eye out for her, but in little ways Mum is starting to feel as if she lives in a fish bowl. They (lady neighbour) is often flicking the curtains to check who is visiting & often "pops" over to say hello too while Mums visitors are still there. Latelytoo Mum has had a few medical events requiring ambulance assistance. & she has a necklace button to call for help & I am the next on the list to be advised. But we are now finding helpful (not so much ) lady neighbour is in floods of tears bawling her eyes out & getting in the way, apparently deeply distraught that DM is dying. (hopefully not just yet says me ) The supportive neighbour ends up being supported by my DM as she waits for her ambulance. I think that sometimes no help is better than help offered but with complications

I am so sorry to read about the loss of your father.

People can be so insensitive and downright rude! You must do what is best for you, but now is not the time to be thinking of an upheaval. Your feelings are raw. Ignore her if you can - do not answer the door if she knocks or rings the bell; avoid conversations & do not pick up the phone if you know it is her.

Your priority right now is YOU. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself time to grieve.

I send you love and best wishes. x

Absolutely agree.

I lost my husband 2 years ago and have been living on my own ever since.My neighbors who are in their fifties have not even called around once to see if I am alright.
I do not know what is up with people.It is certainly a lot different than it was when I was a child people seemed to care then.Does anybody else agree with me?

Although I rue the fact that there are not many neighbours around me, perhaps that's a good thing!! Ps...I am quite nosy.

I have always been very lucky with my neighbours. It's a very small street, we aren't in and out of each other's houses but we all help out if and when needed. Good neighbours are worth their weight in gold.

Our neighbours are OK and I have regularly pet sat for both sides. The one is a bit nosey but I just give bare minimum info. My oh was selling his mother's house and the neighbours there were a nightmare kept asking if sold, to whom and to make sure he considered them when accepting an offer. In the end he told the one particularly nosey one that they were thinking of accepting an offer from anow eastern European gent who wanted to rent to workers! Annoying how some people think they have the right to tell you how to conduct your own business

Sound bonkers. Haven't they anything else to do. Just carry on with your own life and keep contact to taking in parcels and Christmas cards. Always worked for us (up to now).

Esspee and Irenelily your neighbours sound lovely and mine are the same, taking 'a concerned interest' rather than 'nosy'.
So sorry about your OH Irene

My mother was very kind and helpful to an elderly neighbour who only had nephews and nieces who never visited her. When the old lady died, they knocked on her door. Not to thank her for being so caring, or to offer her a keepsake. No! They wanted to know if my Mum had any of the old lady's pension money, that she used to collect for her.
She was so upset to think that she could be suspected of dishonesty. The relations, who couldn't be bothered to visit the lady when she was alive were there, picking over her possessions, almost before she was cold. There are some horrible people in the world!

I have very nosey neighbours. If anything is out of the ordinary (someone not opening the blinds in the morning for example) they spring into action. First the phone goes, then if no answer other neighbours are contacted to find out if the person had said they were going away. They are wonderful, kind and helpful. There have been a couple of instances of elderly neighbours on their own being rescued thanks to concern when "things are not quite normal". One lady was unfortunately dead but at least she didn't lie for long as the police were called and an entry forced.
Yes, they know my business but in a caring and friendly way.
I am so happy to have them and I have joined the club.

Some neighbours are unbelievable,in our small cul-de-sac one of the ladies was taken into hospital in January and after 4/5 weeks we had people from the local area knocking on our door asking if the bungalow was vacant ??
I agree the area is sought after but to show some manners and respect is not to much to ask is it.

What a cheek. I would feel like saying' When and if I should decide to move you have my guarantee of being the first to know.

When my aunt died she left curious instructions for us not under any circumstances to take any of her clothes (which were lovely, she was a professional dressmaker) to the local charity shop but to take everything to the next town! And we soon discovered the reason - immediately we got to her flat after she had died at the cottage hospital, her neighbour knocked on the door asking to take all of auntie's things! Some people are unbelievable!

I have a fairly new neighbour who I have had problems with. I would like too move. Unfortunately, the neighbours I moved here with, when the houses were built, in the 60s are all dyeing off. They had a similar outlook to me and we lived similar lives.

I have been looking for a bungalow perhaps a part share. The strange thing is they are advertised and the agent never takes them down from the site even after they have been sold 12 months or more.

Went to walk past one yesterday, someone leaving the property with stuff for the tip. So I asked "was it still for sale" no it was sold to my friend 18 months ago. It is still up for sale on Reads Reins website!

Hazbeen I think the poster who said she thought you may be splitting up has hit the nail on the head.

My husband has just passed away in hospital. We live in a cul-de-sac around a small green space. My left hand neighbour who has two small children has always been helpful to me and my disabled husband. And this week I have been overwhelmed with kind messages, cards and flowers from her and my six closest neighbours. They used to see my husband going out on his mobility scooter and I feel very lucky and blessed to live among such lovely people!

Thank you for your kind posts. I know I am a little bit fragile at the moment and of course it wasnt the ideal time to deal with this.
We have lived here for nearly 6 years and know almost all our neighbours, the only exceptions are the new tenants who have only moved in while I was away from home. Mostly they are a friendly enough bunch, we have had a communal BBQ for instance where everyone joined in, but one or two are a little more standoffish than others. She is one who doesnt normally want much to do with anyone but her "special " friends so why she should feel ok about ringing my OH then come knocking on my door is odd. As she is a bit older than me(!) I did (after I had calmed down!) wonder if there was something such as dementia there, so I made a point of asking one of her friends if she was ok when I bumped into them. They said she is fine but is now telling others I am moving! This person was quite taken back when I told her we werent as the first neighbour said I had told her all about it! Now what?

She sounds to me as if she could be on the autistic spectrum. Can't manage social interactions and says what she thinks. Remember a lot of young people have been disagnosed with being on the spectrum but a lot of older people have just been presumed as a bit strange. She may ask again.

I know you were not in a state to deal with this but maybe you could now treat it as a joke and if she comes knocking on the door again, say, "No we are not moving." before she asks.

Radicalnan I think the mother and son are in a different post and they make this lady sound almost normal.

HAZBEEN I'm sorry to hear about your father. With the strange woman, I think you might have "bumped into an awkward person". This was what our team-leader, a Psychiatrist, used to say. It's terribly sad she has appeared just after your losing your father. Is she the only one or are there others the same?

In the village where I grew up I became very unhappy about the way people would listen to invented or exaggerated stories and spread them around. If someone had a grievance about another person it would grow into an enormous vendetta against them. When I went to uni I left for good. I think it does happen less now that people move around more.

If you want to move then do! However I wouldn't rush into a decision suddenly so soon after losing your father. But it doesn't hurt to start looking into it. I am looking at Rightmove these days as it happens!

Good luck my love, I do hope you meet some sensible people soon!

Sorry for your loss, Hazbeen, and for the annoyance caused by your neighbour. Try to ignore it.

Some neighbours are nice, others nasty. By and large, I have usually been fortunate with mine, but those who were not nice were a right pain in the neck!

She doesn't sound very bright. Just don't answer the door to her or her son, they will get the message.