Gransnet forums


Neighbours who would have (want) them!!!

(54 Posts)
HAZBEEN Thu 29-Mar-18 22:31:06

As some people may have read on another thread my father died 3 weeks ago and I have been staying with my daughter for the funeral etc. While I was away one of the neighbours rang my OH and said I have been told confidentially that you are moving in 2 days. My OH told her No and what had happened. Well I got back home on Sunday and tonight at 8pm the doorbell went same neighbour who says I heard through the grapevine you are moving, I say no but where did you hear that as OH has already told you no we are not. She says Oh dont know just the grapevine! I on the point of losing it say why do you ask that after OH has already told you. She says just wanted to check he is telling the truth!! And people wonder why I want to move away from these people!!!

MawBroon Thu 29-Mar-18 22:33:45

Sympathies, but my experience is the opposite.
My neighbour and friend dropped everything and was here in minutes when I had chest pains recently. Phoned the doctor, took me to A&E and stayed with me, bringing me home after 9 o clock at night.
Neighbours like mine?
I wouldn't be without them!

HAZBEEN Thu 29-Mar-18 22:39:46

I have to say one or two of mine are good friends but some Grr!

Marydoll Thu 29-Mar-18 22:48:41

My neighbours and I have been friends for 25 years. I'm going to my neighbour's son's wedding on Monday.
I hope they never decided to move.

harrigran Fri 30-Mar-18 08:40:03

I have a few neighbours that have lived here the same length of time as us 45+ years, nice people.
Strangely, a friend's DD, said if I was thinking of moving would I tell her first. She had seen the photos of our refurbish and would like to live here.

Chewbacca Fri 30-Mar-18 08:51:05

My neighbours are a mix of some that have become close friends; some that I'm just on passing the time of day with and one that doesn't seem to want anything to do with anybody we rarely see. But none are difficult to live by, so I consider myself very lucky. smile

Oldwoman70 Fri 30-Mar-18 08:56:55

I find this odd - why is she so interested in whether you are moving or not and in any event what has it to do with her? Does she have someone in mind to move into your house?

HAZBEEN Fri 30-Mar-18 09:08:57

I live in a housing association flat for the over 50s so me moving wouldnt mean she could have someone she knows move in. The thing that really got me was "checking hes telling the truth"! She lives straight opposite me but upstairs so she can see straight into my kitchen windows. Seemingly she used to watch the last tenants as well and ask things about their lives. I have had to put up vertical blinds for privacy.

Bluegal Fri 30-Mar-18 09:17:48

Sounds like she has very little of interest in her life? Maybe she just wants any excuse to 'talk'. Who knows but its not the worst case scenario I've heard with neighbours so don't worry too much.

HAZBEEN Fri 30-Mar-18 09:24:20

Not worried by it Bluegal but as I have been a bit fragile lately its upsetting. My OH is annoyed that she thought he was lying!

Granny23 Fri 30-Mar-18 09:42:45

DD's across the road neighbour rushed over as she arrived home, to tell her that a ' Man in a Suit' had been taking pictures of DD's next door neighbour's house. ATRN had leapt to the conclusion that NDN must be putting her house on the market.

Now the house next door is almost identical to DDs house, except that it has had the loft converted to provide 2 bedrooms and bathroom - exactly the conversion that DD is planning and saving for. Long story short - she went to see her neighbour that evening and discovered that she (widowed a year ago) is indeed thinking about downsizing and has spotted a cottage near her daughter & DGC which is currently empty but not yet up for sale. She thought that having a potential buyer for her current house would simplify matters considerably and they have agreed that DD gets first dibs, will pay whatever the valuation price is and both will save on Estate Agents fees etc.

BTW - The man in a suit taking pictures of the house came from the builders who recently re-slated the roof. They had asked permission to take pictures to illustrate their new brochure grin - Serendipity?

Luckygirl Fri 30-Mar-18 10:23:39

Nowt so queer as folk! Can't believe she thought your OH might be lying - can't believe she rang in the first place. Best ignored I think.

Nonnie Fri 30-Mar-18 12:08:01

We are very lucky with our neighbours apart from one. We have one who is such a good gardener she opens her garden under the NGS. Our next door neighbours are very different to us and we really have nothing in common but get on very well when we meet up. Had a lovely afternoon tea with them when they wanted the high hedge between us removed and it was all sorted amicably. However, the one the other side clearly does not have enough to do since his retirement and has a wife who shouts at him a lot so he is always trying to get away from him!

Luckygirl Fri 30-Mar-18 12:27:11

I have never met my neighbour on one side! She was in hospital for a long time when we moved in 18 months ago. The first Christmas we were here I put a card through her door, saying who we were and that we would be happy to help any time. I heard nothing back. I do not think she leaves the house and we see carers going in and out, so I have never even seen her at all. I am loathe to ring the doorbell as I am not even sure she can get up. It does feel a bit bizarre though.

Caroline2016 Fri 30-Mar-18 14:43:42

20 months ago I put my bungalow on the market , deciding to downsize after losing my husband , as soon as the for sale notice went up , some neighbors ( a mother and son ) from opposite , rang and said we would like to look round we have never seen through your bungalow , I agreed but asked them to come after lunch as it was not convenient then , they turned up on the doorstep 5 minutes later , two days later the mother rang me and was quite abusive about the things which she considered that the bungalow wanted doing to it , and then went around other neighbors gossiping about me , until I sold the bungalow , every single day either the son was knocking on the door demanding to know weather I had sold or the mother telephoned to ask the same , once causing me to fall as I rushed to answer the "phone.
You have my sympathy HAZBEEN , best ignored as much as you can.

BlueBelle Fri 30-Mar-18 15:03:30

I don’t have friendships with any neighbours I know them to stop and say hello but that’s all My mum and dad had lovely neighbours
I think I d have had some fun hazbeen and come up with some cock and bull story that you were selling it to an over 50 drug dealer who d just come out of prison and was moving to the area ?

Nonnie Fri 30-Mar-18 15:59:45

Like your thoughts BlueBelle

Bluegal Fri 30-Mar-18 20:22:07

Bluebell and Nonnie. I think that is awful. In fact the more I read on here I think so many people are judgemental without knowing any real facts! I personally give everyone the benefit of the doubt and delve a little deeper. But then again I am curious... all can say is i have never had any neighbour problem and have moved around A LOT lol

gmelon Fri 30-Mar-18 20:54:33

How dare she.
People like this have never known civilised behaviour.
She's decided that her need to know is greater than your need for respect, privacy and peace after your bereavement.
She's not given you a thought.

Grammaretto Sat 31-Mar-18 18:01:04

Not a thoughtful person at all. Sorry to hear of your recent loss. When my DM died, one if her neighbours called to pay her respects- so I thought as I was sitting in the flat looking through her things. No it was to tell me my DM had told this neighbour she could help herself to something from the jewel box. Truly! I said oh I'm sorry but we are going to wait till the will is read.

jeanie99 Sat 31-Mar-18 23:48:49

She may have someone she knows who is looking to buy in your area.
Was this person a friend of yours?
Calling round at 8pm at night does seem a bit odd.
Just let it go and try and move on there are some strange people around.

Elegran Sun 01-Apr-18 00:26:47

HAZBEEN She probably noticed your absence and thought that you and OH were splitting up and she could get a nice piece of gossip to spread around the neighbourhood. The "Heard you were moving" was just a way to start quizzing your OH and getting him to spill the beans. She didn't believe him so was asking you the same question to see whether she got any inconsistencies or evasions to feed her theory. Nosy b***h.

Rosina Sun 01-Apr-18 09:50:22

She must have some kind of insensitivity problem and has no idea of boundaries. Normal people don't phone or knock and ask if people are moving - twice! - and particularly given the sad circumstances. Perhaps she has a relative who wants to live nearby or something of that sort, but what a strange thing to do!

bikergran Sun 01-Apr-18 10:00:43

I live in a goldfish bowl next but one neighbour and the one directly opposite know exactly what time I get home, what I am wearing and what I have bought..I bought new coat last year....(neighbour txt other neighbour to say ohh XX has got a new coat)!! I came home from little weekend and whilst away I bought a rotary drier for garden....had only been in house about 10 mins when got a shout from over fence (next door but one) ohhh youve got a new clothes arier!!!! hmmm yes would love to move but cant afford.

But on the other hand she came to my assistance when dh passed....but it was full on and too much. So I just let it flow.

ReadyMeals Sun 01-Apr-18 10:04:30

For those woman who do happen to have controlling or lying husbands, a neighbor like the OP's who lets her know what he's saying could be a lifeline. Now that she knows you and your DH are on the same page, she probably won't wonder in future when she hears something from him