Weddings/Funerals in particular.

No recent experience of weddings, but at my DH funeral a few months ago I specified no black, and no flowers except those we had on the coffin. My favourite uncle always said flowers are for the living. Many of our friends live abroad and could not come to the funeral in UK, so it was a very simple but moving ceremony. Donations were to be sent to Birmingham Children's Hospital who saved our GS life.

I don't wish to appear confrontational but I have to say I had very good Funeral Directors for both my mother and fathers funerals.

At no time did I feel pressurised , if I did I would have simply said goodbye, thank you for your time but I don't appreciate being put under pressure, bye.

As for weddings on average cost £27.000 and the point made " was of course talking about weddings for our kids/grandkids generation- and the massive up one (wo)manship and 'competition' often prevalent (of course not always.". Then surely that is up to the family if they want to play the one upmanship game and if they do then they simply pay up and accept that is their decision and theirs only.

The same principle applies to clothing and I don't agree that black clothing " notoriously carried a higher price tag " as the OP says. I guess we are all different .

Ah well, the press (and not just the DM) never let the facts get in the way of a “good” story.
(But shows you mustn't take everything they say as verbatim. )

That was a Daily Mail article. But nobody ( except me and a few others) admits to reading it.
jura2
I think it's safe now to come out and admit to reading it. There's nobody here now to put you in the stocks for doing so.

The average cost of a wedding in the UK has reached an all-time high of £27,161, according to new research in 2017

What research is that, jura? Commissioned by Hello magazine, perhaps?

Maw ? ?

As I have said before - personal not third hand experience has to form the foundation of a valid discussion.
“Research” , “average figures” “many I know” may be all very well, but why ignore those who have personal and recent knowledge of what they are talking about? I would not presume to comment on the cost of e.g.knee surgery in Switzerland but know what my experience has been with Paw’s funeral and do not like being told by somebody who knows nothing about it about “underhand practices” by our (entirely respectable, trustworthy and ultimately kindly) funeral directors.

My experience of funeral companies has also been positive. We have never felt anything other than supported when making decisions and plans.
I stand by my view that it’s up to young (and old) couples what kind of wedding they want. My preference is for less formal, less traditional weddings but I accept I’m out of sych with my adult children and their friends. They live an excuse for a huge part, dressing up is more important to them than its ever been for me. Live and let love

I am so glad for you lemon- sadly not the experience of many I know.

I was of course talking about weddings for our kids/grandkids generation- and the massive up one (wo)manship and 'competition' often prevalent (of course not always.

The average cost of a wedding in the UK has reached an all-time high of £27,161, according to new research in 2017. The OTT bit is leaving couples saddled with debts which are often not repaid by the time of the divorce (partly caused by arguing about money, or lack of) - and not allowing many to afford a deposit fora home or suitable accomodation for them and family.

Before anyone castigates funeral firms, from my own experience they do a very good job.There are a variety of options and they try to tailor it to your requirements and needs.They are a business of course and a very necessary one! I have never felt ‘duped’or ‘conned’ just grateful for a sympathetic service.

I have been a Mob twice. Both times, I bought something new to wear and was pleased to do so. Neither of the outfits was remotely MOB and I was pleased to be able to get a lot of wear out of them after the wedding.

I dislike the critical and superior attitude many people take to what they call OTT weddings. I had an informal, quiet wedding with a party at home afterwards. That was the norm amongst my close family and friendship group. My daughters and their friends all either have had, or plan huge parties around their weddings. That's their generations' norm. Good luck to them, far be it from me to adopt a superior approach and say something like eh up, we had a quiet wedding, with a cheap frock and food we did ourselves at home (I feel a 3 Yorkshire well in our case, Lancashire women sketch coming on)

Funerals, I once bought a new frock for a funeral because it was to be a very posh do and I didn't have anything particularly suitable. Generally, I wear what feels right for the occasion.

I don't intend to leave instructions for the people who may come to my funeral, they can wear what they like.

Me too, it's just wishful thinking.

And, as my dear aunt told me when I successfully lost a lot of weight many years ago "You look 'drawn', dear, have you been poorly?"

jalima it would take more than time for me, it would take a miracle!

I always think one black skirt or pair of trousers look much like another, so it'd be silly to waste money.

As for weddings - we haven't been to one for quite a long time but I hope I would have plenty of advance notice so that I could lose weight and slip into a size 10.

I've got 'a funeral outfit' - skirt, cream and black top and a black jacket.

As I always have a black winter coat that would do too, on a cold day.

To go back to OP I have never bought anything new for any funeral. Even at my mother's funeral years ago I wore a smart navy skirt and jacket and white blouse which I already had. Currently I have a navy trouser suit that looks smart at funerals (and there have been a few recently of friends and relatives. ) In summer I wear it with a white blouse and some beads and in winter the same suit looks ok with a dark jumper and silky scarf. If its very cold have a black coat I can wear too but it was not bought exclusively for funerals and Ive had it for years. I've not found funerals an expense as a guest -but I know they are expensive to organise. Weddings are a bit different - I've bought new outfits for my children's weddings but I have used them again for other occasions ,including other weddings. But I do think the average cost of weddings today is ridiculous. Thankfully my children's weddings were not too extravagant .

I wasn't pushed to pay, either.
No pestering, no rushing.
I don't think an undertaker would get away with that attitude.
I also filled in a form after the event which rated every single element of the the whole procedure.

TBH there was no mention of money until the final details were finalised and I was pleasantly surprised.
It’s a time when money really shouldn’t be a consideration , should it?

I certainly wasn't pushed to spend more than I could afford on a funeral.
I was shown every option, from the budget deal, upwards.

Recent figures show that a funeral using a funeral director costs on average £4,078
That is the price, jura.
The undertaker’s profit is price minus the cost of providing the service.
Unless you know what the costs of providing the service are, you cannot possibly know whether the undertaker is exploiting people or not.
They are just as entitled to earn their living as anyone else.

I have a nicely sober, not black, dress that I have worn to a couple of funerals with a black jacket. When my DiL died, she had specified to my DS that no-one should wear black for her funeral, so I wore a pale grey trouser suit with a navy silk shirt, which, while a sober-ish ensemble, was not black. Weddings are a different kettle. I hate them. Fortunately they don’t come around very often these days, but the last three we have been to have meant clothes that have been worn once and then, even though when I bought them the idea was that they could be worn for various informal occasions, have been deliberately passed over. I came across the price labels (goodness knows how they came to be kept) the other day for the outfit I wore to my son’s second wedding - a much more formal affair than the first one - a mind boggling amount of money for clothes that have sat in the wardrobe every since. I doubt they would fit me now.

I am getting quite tired of being told how dreadful things are in the U.K. based on limited experience of 40 years’ residence and extrapolation from what “friends have told me”
The “kindness and compassion and cheque book and credit card” may be your experience, but where a professional service is performed with kindness and compassion at an emotionally fragile time in one’s life, for instance losing ones life partner, please do not pontificate that it is all and only profit driven
I have no problem with paying a fair rate for a professional service and your cynicism jura is both tactless and ill -timed - and frankly only your opinion.

Recent figures show that a funeral using a funeral director costs on average £4,078*. - which means many cost a lot lot more.

A friend was told, when she tried to cut cost down for her mum's funeral 'oh, I could you possibly not want the best for your mother - surely she deserves the best'- that is quite common.