Spending money

I have my own account for my pension/AA, but transfer some to our joint account weekly to pay for my share of joint bills. DH is the main name on joint account, as he is the person with the larger income, but if we run short in a given month, we either transfer from our savings account or from one account to the other. Works well for us,

Saggi I could not believe what I was reading about your dreadful OH . How on earth has he managed to hold onto you all these years? He certainly doesn't deserve you - he doesn't deserve anyone with that shocking attitude. Please get out, if you haven't already - there is a whole world of freedom out there - freedom from control and freedom to arrange your own life the way you want it .

Regrettably, I doubt you can change his attitude now. You should have put your foot down long before now.

We've always had a joint bank account and like other posters we don't query one another's purchases. If it's an expensive item we discuss it first.

Mr. S. who is retiring this year has a far greater personal pension than me and it's going into our 'pot' along with my much smaller one when the time comes.

I'm so thankful we have joint money and my husband never queries what I spend as I keep control of the bills etc. It reminds me of what's great about our relationship especially as in rough spots you can forget these things and escalate small problems!

Saggi Your story reminds me of a girl I worked with. Her husband controlled the money and would give her a set amount in the morning out of which she had to buy the groceries and her lunch, if there was anything left over. I lost count of the number of times I "accidentally" bought too much lunch and passed it on to her - otherwise she would have gone hungry all day. Together with another work colleague we helped her to stand up to him and eventually she left him and lived a much happier life.