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(43 Posts)
Sheian57 Fri 04-May-18 20:55:45

Could I please have your opinions on my son’s attitude towards us bringing our small pet dog with us to his house whilst we babysit our dgd. They want us at their house from 5 until midnight AND have asked for a lift to meet their friends, but when I asked if we could bring our pet so he is not left alone for 7 hours, he flatly refused. I have a good mind to say we want him home by 11 and go to sit at 6 as well as tell them to take the bus. It’s all one way traffic. It’s not like the dog will be any trouble and dgd loves him and plays with him when I look after her in the week when they are at work. Honest opinions please. X

agnurse Fri 04-May-18 21:02:17

It's their home. They have the right to say no. But then you also have the right to decline to baby-sit.

Situpstraight Fri 04-May-18 21:03:34

Personally I wouldn’t take my dog to my ACs house if I’ve been asked not to. If you’ve already agreed to babysit then you have to go.
But next time ask first if you can take the dog, if they say no then you can refuse.
But TBH leaving a dog alone for 7 hours shouldn’t be a problem should it?

Deedaa Fri 04-May-18 21:11:54

7 hours is a long time to leave a dog really. I think that, as they know you have a dog, they should ask someone else to baby sit for long periods.

SpanielNanny Fri 04-May-18 21:16:03

If I’d ask to take my dogs, and my son has said no I would have gladly left them at home.
It’s not uncommon for people who don’t have dogs to not want them in their houses.
People work full time and leave their dogs at home, i’m sure your dog will be fine as a one off.
In future, if you’re asked to babysit, ask if you can bring your dog first, if son says no then by all means say you can’t babysit. Just don’t be disappointed if they stop asking you.

OldMeg Fri 04-May-18 21:34:00

A dog should not be left alone for that length of time. As there are two of you, one can babysit and the other keep the dog company.

Bathsheba Fri 04-May-18 21:53:21

OldMeg has the perfect solution. A dog really cannot be left for 7 hours, but that doesn't mean the son has any sort of moral responsibility towards it. It's for the OP to either refuse to babysit or find someone (one of them?) to look after it.

LynneB59 Fri 04-May-18 22:03:53

7 hours is FAR too long for a dog to be left alone. I'd tell your son either you take the dog, or he can find a different babysitter. OR perhaps the child could stay at your house?

phoenix Fri 04-May-18 22:43:26

Reading the OP, they have also asked for a lift. That won't work if the OP is babysitting and her OH is at home with the dog, unless the child goes with her in a car seat while she drops the parents off.

merlotgran Fri 04-May-18 23:10:44

When our kids were small we were so desperate to find a decent babysitter we wouldn't have objected if they'd brought along their Vietnamese pot bellied pig!!

Dontaskme Sat 05-May-18 07:05:01

merlotgran - snap!

OldMeg Sat 05-May-18 07:23:40

So let them get a ? taxi.

Merlot ???

gillybob Sat 05-May-18 07:46:51

I babysit often but very rarely (can’t rember the last time) at my DS and DDiL’s home. I find it much easier to bring the children here to stay at mine. Would that be an option for you Sheian57 ?

kittylester Sat 05-May-18 08:40:36

Be grateful you have been asked to babysit. Lots of people have no contact at all.

harrigran Sat 05-May-18 09:39:38

Sorry, I am with your son on this one. I thought dogs were there to guard your property when absent not to be treated li,e hu an children.

harrigran Sat 05-May-18 09:40:32

B****y ipad, like human children.

Nannarose Sat 05-May-18 10:04:52

No right or wrong here is there? Ditto with how long to leave dog - depends on the dog, usual routine etc.

I wouldn't get too tied up in rights, wrongs, emotions. Simply say 'Happy to baby sit, happy to give lifts, but only happy to leave dog for X hours. How best to work this out?'
I can see all sorts of ways around this, depending on how far away you live, and how far / what direction lifts are being given. Also if the child could go to bed at your house.
During the conversation I'd also check what the issues with the dog are. Sounds as if it's not to do with the child, but with having a dog in their house. The only way to keep a good relationship all round is to problem solve IMHO.

mcem Sat 05-May-18 10:10:10

A mature trained dog can be left for several hours.
A good walk before and after the babysitting session would be needed.
Is anyone seriously suggesting that a young working couple can't leave a 7year old dog at home while they work?
My son and DiL have had no problems but then their dog isn't treated as a child!

Luckygirl Sat 05-May-18 10:40:13

I would have said no too - just as your son has. It is important to remember that your dog is your dear friend, but to some he/she is a blooming smelly nuisance! grin

Blinko Sat 05-May-18 10:53:53

What about people who work and have dogs? Surely they leave them alone for seven or eight hours every working day?

jenpax Sat 05-May-18 10:58:47

I leave my daughters 2 dogs home alone while I am at work (which is full time) there has never been an issue and the dogs do not howl in my absence (according to neighbours) if DS doesn’t want dog at his house that’s his prerogative but if you are insisting that leaving dog for 7 hours is too long say so to son and explain you would love to baby sit but would need to be home by x time

Craicon Sat 05-May-18 12:42:10

If they want free babysitting then they need to either take child to OP’s house or allow OP to bring the dog. I don’t think it’s remotely ok to leave dogs for hours on end.
If you don’t have time to spend with them and can’t afford doggy daycare, don’t get a dog.

Bathsheba Sat 05-May-18 13:03:36

Totally agree Craicon. I simply cannot understand how people think it's OK to leave dogs for 7 hours (and possibly longer if you work full-time and factor in travel to and from work), often with no access to the garden for toileting. Dogs are social animals and need company, to say nothing of exercise! Leaving them on their own for hours on end, day after day, is just unacceptable.

OldMeg Sat 05-May-18 13:47:53

Bathsheba they don’t understand because they are not dog owners. Any dog charity will not let you rehome a dog if you are out of the house for more than 4 hours. I agree it’s totally unacceptable.

When I worked full time I had two dogs, so they were company for each other, plus I paid for someone to come in and sit with them and let them out for an hour at lunchtime.

merlotgran Sat 05-May-18 14:11:23

Dogs get used to their owners being out at work because it becomes part of their routine. Being left at night is another matter because that's when they expect their owners to be at home watching telly or whatever.

I suspect the OP is a bit miffed because she looks after the DGD during the week so the parents can work. Sometimes I think there should be a bit more consideration towards trusted and reliable grandparents and not just take them for granted.

Tell him to pay a baby sitter and get a bus or taxi.