Babysitting

What is the substance of his objection to the dog? Is it fleas? Biting the baby? Unkind to small dog to turn a toddler loose on it? Dog hairs on sofa? Neighbours object to dog? Has a resident cat/rabbit/cage bird? Doesn't have a garden for the dog's use? Fears that the dog will commit suicide by jumping from the seventh floor balcony?

I have a dog sister. My next door neighbour’s 14-year old daughter comes in to dog-sit if we are going out at night. Our two ‘new’ (rescue) dogs have yet to settle in and not bark if they hear noises in the street. So having this young person stay with them solves the problem.

I think, though, that if you don't want to leave the dog you can simply tell them you can't baby-sit. Personally I would not be comfortable with my parents or anyone bringing a dog to our house, primarily because one of our cats is afraid of dogs. (One has been around a dog before the other one tried to make friends with a dog once.) But if my parents said they didn't want to leave the dog, that would be their right and I would respect that. (Speaking hypothetically. My parents don't have a dog. They have two cats and are caring for my brother's cat for a few months as well. Before anyone throws a fit - brother is in police training and is living on site for 6 months so can't take the cat with; he will collect her when he returns.)

I wouldn’t leave my dog that long, more to the point my kids wouldn’t have expected me to either. You take on a pet, they become part of the family. Love me love my dog.

I had something similar. I refused to leave my dog as he is as much a part of my family as my grandchildren are! He’s also less trouble lol. Up to you OP but for me I would tell them you can’t leave him for so long so if they want a babysitter and lifts etc then dog needs to come.

I would tell them to find an alternative babysitter. But then my dd/son in law would never object to a well behaved dog, even if we still had one.

When we did have a dog, I wouldn't invite anyone who didn't like them, or who expected us to shut her away while they were there.

While still a student a dd once brought a male friend - who didn't like dogs - to stay. Apparently dd told him beforehand, 'You'll have to pretend to like our dog or my mum will hate you!'
He did, and I didn't hear this till later!

7 hours is a long time to leave a dog. Can one of you stay home with the dog and the other babysit? Tell your son to take a taxi. I see your point about the DGD being ok with the dog when you are looking after her presumably at your house? Maybe they just don't want the dog in the house rather than being worried it will be an issue with DGD?

I wouldn't leave my dogs alone for 7 hours. I agree with those who've suggested that your DGD stays at your house or they find someone else to baby sit.

It's totally up to you if you do evening babysitting for your son as well as looking after your dgd in the week, which you presumably aren't paid for either.
Personally I do not think you should feel at all guilty if you prefer to spend the evening at home with your dear dog. But I'm not a grandparent yet.
My dog is fine with being left alone for an evening as long as he's had a walk and been fed, but many dogs get stressed and bark all evening.
Hear hear, merlotgran.

If there is enough time I would tell them that you would only babysit on condition that you bring the dog, and that they need to make their own arrangements for transport - taking advantage IMO, frankly!

There are many reasons it may take 2 to babysit. In this case, lifts are wanted, and if that is the only reason then that may need re-considering. We usually go as a pair, my arthritis doesn't allow me to carry children up and down stairs for example, but my child care experience is much greater than OH 's.
As with so many problems raised here, it is really about sitting down and talking.

I am not suggesting, but stating, that a dog should not be left alone for 7 hours. People who work full time should arrange for a dog sitter to let the dog out at lunchtime. It is reasonable for the family not to want the dog in their home. Non-dog owners do not want dog hair, dog smells etc. One of the couple could stay at home, it doesn't take two to babysit. You could say you are happy to babysit for 5 hours . 7 hours is a hell of a babysit. Free babysitting is not a given. They perhaps could ask a little less

Looking at some of the replies on here, I have to say I think there is a definite difference between dog OWNERS and dog LOVERS. Many people leave their dog for hours - but it doesn't make it right! Dogs are PACK animals, so need and like to be with others (dogs, humans, sometimes cats). To a lot of animal LOVERS, their pets are like children - my cats have always been pampered and have had happy lives - that's the whole idea of having a pet. For the person who said that dogs are meant to guard the home - how ridiculous!

OP just this once, could you get a neighbour to pop over to sit with your dog/let it out half way through the evening? I'd gently make it clear to your DS and his DP that you have problems leaving the dog for that length of time and will avoid doing so again. I can't see the problem if it's a trustworthy dog, both you and your DH are there, your gc likes it ... providing it doesn't smell and is housetrained which I'm presuming it is. I'm another who thinks 7 hours is too long especially if it's used to you being home when it's dark.

In the future make it clear you are not leaving your dog. Tell them to bring dgd to you.

I wouldn't leave my dogs for more than 4 hours without arranging for them to be taken out for a pee. I can understand people not wanting dogs in their house, I may not agree but its their house/rules. As someone else said there needs to be a compromise, explain how long you feel able to leave the dog and work round it.

I would suggest to ask to have DGD to stay at your house if that is ok with you both. Save the hassle of DS dictating to you and using you as a babysitter/taxi service. Otherwise things will go on as they are. (I don’t think this is to do with the dog being on its own for hours, as long as it doesn’t smell/chew/attack anyone/crap everywhere where is the harm in taking him/her?) Give and take is required on both sides.

Luckygirl, You have a point but it seems there are no concerns about a blooming smelly nuisance during the week when they're getting free child care

Dogs get used to their owners being out at work because it becomes part of their routine. Being left at night is another matter because that's when they expect their owners to be at home watching telly or whatever.

I suspect the OP is a bit miffed because she looks after the DGD during the week so the parents can work. Sometimes I think there should be a bit more consideration towards trusted and reliable grandparents and not just take them for granted.

Tell him to pay a baby sitter and get a bus or taxi.

Bathsheba they don’t understand because they are not dog owners. Any dog charity will not let you rehome a dog if you are out of the house for more than 4 hours. I agree it’s totally unacceptable.

When I worked full time I had two dogs, so they were company for each other, plus I paid for someone to come in and sit with them and let them out for an hour at lunchtime.

Totally agree Craicon. I simply cannot understand how people think it's OK to leave dogs for 7 hours (and possibly longer if you work full-time and factor in travel to and from work), often with no access to the garden for toileting. Dogs are social animals and need company, to say nothing of exercise! Leaving them on their own for hours on end, day after day, is just unacceptable.

If they want free babysitting then they need to either take child to OP’s house or allow OP to bring the dog. I don’t think it’s remotely ok to leave dogs for hours on end.
If you don’t have time to spend with them and can’t afford doggy daycare, don’t get a dog.

I leave my daughters 2 dogs home alone while I am at work (which is full time) there has never been an issue and the dogs do not howl in my absence (according to neighbours) if DS doesn’t want dog at his house that’s his prerogative but if you are insisting that leaving dog for 7 hours is too long say so to son and explain you would love to baby sit but would need to be home by x time

What about people who work and have dogs? Surely they leave them alone for seven or eight hours every working day?

I would have said no too - just as your son has. It is important to remember that your dog is your dear friend, but to some he/she is a blooming smelly nuisance!