This school has banned pencil cases

Could be the reason they were ‘better-off’ Jalima ?

Surely it's more important to teach children, from a young age, not to look down on those they perceive to be less materially well off than they are, rather than remove the temptation by banning pencil cases for example.

Children need to be taught respect and tolerance. A child with an inferior pencil case shouldn't be tormented any more than a child with ginger hair, who wears glasses, whose regarded with disdain because they're clever so must be a swot.

We cannot sanitize the world for them. We need to teach them the coping mechanisms they'll need to overcome the many hurdles they'll no doubt face, regardless of their material status.

There's a fine line IMO between sensible school rules and dictating to parents. TBH I'm glad that we don't have children of school age anymore.

Being told what you can and cannot put in your child's lunch box is for me a step too far as is restricting and in many instances banning time away from school during term time.

Our DS teaches and whilst I appreciate that this is not the easiest of professions I do think there are more important issues for schools to address than pencil cases and the content of lunch boxes.

If all parents thought that way Smileless2012 it might be possible to apply such rules, unfortunately some parents are victims of this culture themselves (see post about the 4x4). It used to be known as "keeping up with the Joneses" now it is far more about buying into the latest fashion/craze/gimmick. Children pick up from their parents that not having these things is in some way to be a failure and they apply that to their peers. Teachers try to bring some sense of tolerance into their lives, but they are struggling to overcome established family beliefs.
And actually the banning of pencil cases does do something to signal to children that the ethos accepted at home is not welcome in school.

schools should be a social leveller

& the move to "police" lunch boxes was not taken lightly, schools were dealing with children who werw going all day with just a marsbar, or a half eaten KFC. If in order to help those children the policy irritates the parents of a few well looked after children whose kids have a well balanced lunchbox AND a treat, well is that really a big price to pay in order to salvage the school days of the most disadvantaged children? I think not! Its really not a hardship on ordinary parents or children to follow a lunchbox policy but it makes a difference to the kids its aimed to help!

I was one of those kids who didnt get a decent lunchbox back in the "good old days" and its hard to learn and play when you havent eaten properly.

I also think its unfair to expect children who are already disadvantaged, hungry, unhappy at home etc to be all pragmatic about not getting upset about not having the fancy toys that their peers have.

Toys can be shown off and swapped etc after school and at sleep overs. School should be a level playing field to give all children as equal an experience as possible.

If these children can’t cope with others having a better/worse item at primary level. What happens when it all changes to, as it does in secondary school to anything goes?

These policies aim at helping the kids who are already "coping" with more than most adults could handle at home!

If you feel inconvenienced by schools looking to include and nurture the kids who already have it tough so that school is a bit less tough for them, and they can leave some of their disadvantage behind between 9&3 and feel included, then really I think you need to reassess your values!

I've seen the contents of some lunch boxes - a family-sized Value Swiss roll, half a cold Big Mac, a few congealed chips and batter... Someone has to step in to make sure children eat, just as staff step in to wash children's clothes so they don't smell, buy them flannels and toothbrushes and hairbrushes to use before lessons so that other children will sit with them, and so on.

Of course we can't sanitize the whole world for disadvantaged children. But whatever we can do to make them feel a little less like outsiders can only be a good thing. It's a given that this involves parents teaching their children to be kind. And if they are kind why on earth would they want to flaunt their good fortune?

And actually the banning of pencil cases does do something to signal to children that the ethos accepted at home is not welcome in school

Really trisher ? What ethos does school banning a pencil case instill in a child?

The school lunch box police make me so angry ?. I have said many times on GN that at my DGC’s school if you get in first or second sitting for school lunch you will probably get a half decent meal. After that you will be very lucky as there is very little left . The older children are often left with a dried up poorly filled sandwich or a slice of cold dry pizza . I have spoken to the head about this many times and she just says it’s difficult to order enough of everything . My DGC like good food , they are used to good food. So until school meals are of a high standard for all children I think the lunch box police should shut the hell up !

My values and that of my children and grandchildren are very high maggiemaybe . They are also all very kind. What other parents choose to feed their children or spend their money on is up to them but in our family the children come first . Shall we send our children to school dirty in order to make a dirty child feel more accepted ? Shall we stop washing their hair and tying it back because someone else can’t be bothered to ? Shall we make them wear wellingtons or plimsolls all year round because others do ? These are all things I see with my own eyes in the school playground . No banning of pencil cases will change bad parenting like this !

^ the move to "police" lunch boxes was not taken lightly, schools were dealing with children who werw going all day with just a marsbar, or a half eaten KFC.^

I think the policing went too far when a child who took in a good packed lunch plus a small chocolate bar or biscuit had the sweet item removed by staff - but I also remember being told by my friend about one child (same school) whose daily lunch box contained one slice of white bread spread with tomato ketchup. The dinner ladies used to feed him a school dinner as mother was just not interested in applying for them on his behalf.

without applying it across the board how do you target the right kids without putting them on a separate stigmatised "poor program"

its not a hardship for the kid who has a sandwich, piece of fruit, AND a mini mars bar to go without the mini mars bar and have a granola bar or yogurt instead, but it means the rule can also be applied to the kid who JUST has a mars bar, and nothing else. And gives support staff a tool with which to approach the care givers.

No need for packed lunches at all if the school meals were decent but sadly they’re not .

My kids school cooked on site rather than ordered in so they were very good (and being an onsite kitchen not a delivery truck: hot for all sittings) but there is always a need for the packed lunch option as school dinners wont cover all needs

I don’t get this I really don’t . So let’s punish all children because some lazy good for nothing parents can’t be bothered to feed their children? If a child turned up to school lunch with a mars bar and nothing else I think I would be contacting the parents directly . Not banning little Johnny from having his sandwich, fruit and mini chocolate bar .
For the record my primary school grandchildren are really into chocolate much .

My DGC’s school orders them in . Great for the first 2 sittings then rubbish for the rest .

its not a "punishment" to have a sambo, drink, fruit & yogurt instead of a sambo, drink, fruit & chocolate bar! Good god!

gillibob ordered in school meals are awful & the tender process means that the sucessful companies over stretch themselves. In my area teachers have had to go buy sandwiches etc at local shops to top up delivered meals at schools that use the delivery service!

But I dont understand the sentiment that we're not allowed to care about lunch boxe issues until school dinners are fixed. Both can be worked on at the same time!

If a child turned up to school lunch with a mars bar and nothing else I think I would be contacting the parents directly . Not banning little Johnny from having his sandwich, fruit and mini chocolate bar

So Johnny is allowed marsbars but Tommy isnt? That'll go down well....

And it’s not a punishment to ban fancy designer pencil cases or bags in school. They can have as many fancy ones as they like at home.
It’s opting out of the trend for always having to buy expensive consumer goods and top labels which pressurises parents and stigmatises children.

& is a daily mini marsbar a great idea anyway?

I've never found it hard to follow the lunchbox rules despite giggling fusspots, allergies & at times very tight budgets.

This idea that its a "punishment" to send a healthy lunch is bizarre..

Its really not a hardship on ordinary parents & children and allows a framework that helps engage families with difficulties... there are no loosers!

Jenpax - our moto is you get what you're given and be grateful for it. Didn't do out DC any harm and they certainly weren't bullied. They may have admired something that another child had but didn't covet it. Its they way your bring them up, not what they've got.

Don't get me started on food! How many times do parents have to be told no chocolate, no crisps, no sweets etc? Always those that were pleading poverty spent more on crap than a decent pack up cost in my experience. We had one that turned up more than once with a meal deal from Tesco complete with can of coke.

As part of a balanced diet yes (who’s Tommy btw ? I only know Johnny) .

Sandwich, fruit or veg, then a small chocolate bar /biscuit/ crisps . Not just one huge mars bar .

You knew you probably knew I meant that though.

jiggling??
not giggling..

So you have never rewarded yourself with a little biscuit or a slice of cake ?

"Sandwich, fruit or veg, then a small chocolate bar /biscuit/ crisps . Not just one huge mars bar ."

daily chocolate or crisps are not necessary, even if paired up with an otherwise healthy lunch

"treats" should be ocassional not habitual anyway

Its not doing anyone any harm to not have chocolate in their daily pack-up!