wedding present dilemma

My daughter in laws mother had a show of gifts for my son's wedding - but that was in America! I was so pleased that they had a wedding list for a store where we English guests could order on line, gift wrapped and delivered. There was no was I could have carried my present of a large coffee machine on the plane!

The Americans have a tradition that the evening before the wedding, the grooms parents host a dinner for all the guests! I told my son that I was not doing that as I had paid for three plane tickets, accommodation, car hire etc etc and that was enough! Luckily he agreed and a all we did was meet some of the close family at a pizza place and everyone paid for their own meal.

I hope my daughter elopes and comes back married as I think weddings are an awful waste of money!

As long as the bride and groom are happy with the arrangement, MIL can butt out !!

She seems to be getting rather too involved in a matter which is the entire business of the bride and groom. It is not up to her to ask you why you have or haven't done something; you have bought gifts following arrangements that the B and G have set up in the way they want. End of.

I don’t get why if the brides mum wants to do a show of presents, the grooms mum is the one phoning people to chin them about it though??

This thread made me eat half a jar of cocktail onions last night ?

We had a show of presents, 50 years ago, as we were living in Scotland. While we were back in Leeds, my home town, for the wedding my inlaws house was broken into and all the presents stolen!!

In Ireland it was the norm to leave gifts at the bride's mother's house. Invitations were sent out for people to come and view the gifts. I'm sure this practice is out of date now. The last time I went to something like this was back in the eighties.

I assumed that sort of thing went out with the ark! It was on the wain when I got married 37 years ago & certainly wasn't done or even thought of when our 2 children were married 6 and 7 years ago. A lot of their gifts were money or from a store wedding gift list - what era is MiL existing in??

We definitely did this (in England not Scotland) 48 years ago

I remember helping out at shows of presents (in Scotland) when relatives and friends got married. My parents didn't have one for either of my sisters and, as I got married in Kenya, I didn't have one either. I also remember the multiple toasters, towels, alarm clocks and sets of fish knives and forks, which doesn't happen much now that lists are issued by bride and groom. Then there was the tradition of the 'wedding china', usually expected to be given by the chief bridesmaid.

Ooh, I didn't know about the wedding china thing. Must get on to my chief bridesmaid.

How rude, why would anyone do this.

I can remember in the 1980s when my youngest sister in law was married, her mother had a show of presents in the few days before the wedding. She came from the Scottish Borders and I just thought it must be a tradition up there as I had never been to one before or even heard of it.

Here in the NE of Scotland, the 'showing of the presents' was a big thing for many years. There would be a few evenings set aside for this. The bride's mother had to be prepared for anyone coming during that period, bearing their gifts. Often the gifts would be handed in previously, so that they could be displayed.The gifts were all laid out, and the visitors were taken into the room to view. There was a fairly lavish tea available! This practice isn't quite so common now, but has by no means completely died out. On occasion, the bridesmaids' dresses were also on display.

Not heard of it for the last 25-30 years! I repeat - they should have told you beforehand!

Even back in the day 50 or so years ago the presents were usually taken to the wedding and then displayed afterwards. Not heard of them going directly to brides mum!

Well a whole side of DHs family are Scottish and none of them delivered our wedding gifts in advance so its not a universal thing in Scotland even if some do it.

When we travelled to scotland gor his cousins wedding they wanted money not gifts & there was a decorated post box at the venue on the day

thanks for replies. Sorry to cause confusion. The lady complaining is my mother in law and the grandmother of the bride. Seems my husband & I cant do anything right where family are concerned. Wedding is tomorrow, so gonna go along, enjoy the day and have large glass of wine when I get home.
Families!!!!

The shop will surely deliver them to whoever they are told to?

Off the point but I bought a present off a shop list for a friends son and new wife.....haven’t heard a thing, no thanks nothing, and they were married 7 months ago....AIBU I am still seething?

People usually deliver presents but it's no big deal. just ignore. and have a large glass AT the wedding, not after ?

I would also be seething, did you check they received present?

What about all these couples asking for money instead of gifts? Do they display the cheques and wads of cash on their mantelpiece or something then? Haha!

Ziggy62 yes, I checked with my friend, a parent of one of them....

Off the point but I bought a present off a shop list for a friends son and new wife.....haven’t heard a thing, no thanks nothing, and they were married 7 months ago....AIBU I am still seething?

Yes, you cant be very good friends if in 7 months you havent had the opportunity to ask if its been delivered?

Pretty bad to ask for gifts and then not send thank you notes for them

muffinthemoo yes