Swearing

I guess when he got in his pre emptive apology you could have said something fairly lighthearted that signaled you weren't too comfortable with swearing?

Like Pollyperkins I agree with you Vanatic. I am always embarrassed when someone swears probably because as a child my father swore and my mother was constantly saying "not in front of the child" I was interested in LynnB59 who swears in the house but not in front of children or in a restaurant so why swear at all?

Swearing doesn't seem to mean the same with younger people as it does to us oldies. I'm sure previous generations would be offended by some of the words that we might use in a general conversation which are now common place. Swearing doesn't bother me, as long as it's to me and not at me, and at least he had the decency to apologise beforehand, which says a lot. Perhaps you should have said (in a jokey way) that you don't like swearing since you were forewarned.

But we won't know that Davidhs unless OP comes back and tells us of prior behaviour/incidents. We have no idea, it's just guesswork!

I am actually quite surprised at the replies to swearing, none - and I mean NONE of my family or friends would dream of swearing in company, they're not royalty or any kind of class they're just ordinary folk who respect each other's feelings.
Casual swearing is really bad, we all do it occasionally but not in general conversation, was it justified in recounting this tale, no, if you can't tell a story without swearing don't tell it.
My feeling is that it was deliberate pushing the boundaries to make MIL cringe

I agree with codfather - if you swear in private it's bound to slip out sooner or later at the wrong time. Thats one of the reasons i dont do it at all. My H doesnt swear (well only rarely and mildly) nor do our AC -not in front of us anyway. I was told off by GC for saying damn recently though! DiL is very fussy about bad language -doesn't allow them to say bum or belly etc!!

???

I am very rarely heard to swear - I really don’t like it at all. However, yesterday evening was beautifully warm (a rarity) to sit out in the peace of our garden. Neighbours (both retired) in the adjoining garden were both using power tools from 6-8pm on a Saturday evening. Eventually I lost it and shouted at the top of my voice Shut the f**k up. They did.

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Anyone who swears in my house gets a ticking off! I don't care whether they are telling me what somebody else says or not!

The only time I'll allow it is in the context of telling a joke when it's absolutely necessary and NEVER the "c" word!

All the family and friends know that I can't abide swearing! I'm not a prude by any means but I made the decision many years ago, not to swear! That way, I won't inadvertently swear in polite company. It's only a habit caused by laziness and shows limited vocabulary!

maryeliza54
Ok...that's YOUR point of view
My view is that some on here take it as being part and parcel of language nowadays, in or out of any contextual meaning. By not expressing a dislike of it's use, even by family or friends, that, to me, is acceptance.
BTW. I had read every word of every post on this thread BEFORE typing my comment. Judgemental? You?
Surely not.
There's a saying ' Pearls before swine'.
If I'm clutching at pearls I wonder what.......

As far as I can read no one on here has said that swearing is acceptable full stop but that it is context dependent - try reading the posts instead of clutching your pearls

Would all those who think swearing is 'acceptable, Shakespearean, nothing to get upset about etc, not turn a hair at people using those words in a public arena such as a theatre, restaurant or supermarket checkout or indeed hear their son's g/f use the f, c or b'stard words in gcneral conversation?
IMO, manners and speech should be the same both in and out of your home.

I'm totally with Vanatic on this subject.
My thinking is that, if you can't find enough non-swear words to tell a story, then you haven't had much of an education.
I loathe swearing and, in the case cited by the OP, regardless of his prior apology, it shows his crassness and lack of respect.

I want to ask so many questions because honestly the tiny amount of info you have given Vanatic is not helpful because it makes me assume things. And I would be doing you no service answering under those conditions.

I'm going to assume that you just wanted to blow off some steam rather than actually get anyone's real opinion

As a teacher I had to have a quiet word with a parent whose child was swearing violently at others in the playground.
Mum apologised and added " I don't know where that's coming from! There's no f**** swearing allowed in my f**** house! "

I worked as a carer for 22 years until last year and would NEVER have sworn in front of anyone I went to (although some of them swore a lot to me and at me).

lollee.. as my 1st reply says, I (and my family members) would NEVER swear outside of our own house, never in front of children, teachers, doctors, bank managers (you get the idea). Not one of us ever swore in front of my MIL - even though she was a nasty old trout to all of us - but the lady who posted this initial question perhaps needs to understand that although her "future SIL" swears, her daughter must like him, and so to maintain a good relationship with her daughter, the lady may need to ignore any swearing and perhaps get to know the young man beyond his language.

HurdyGurdy... no, it's simply that some people on here have got the wrong end of the stick (as have you.) IF I were being aggressive, I'd surely tell you to fuck off haha

If children hear their parents' potty mouths and repeat it at school they get into big trouble. Schools will not tolerate swearing so it is wiser to keep language clean around them. In fact in some instances swearing can be harassment when it's used in the workplace to put down an employee.

I would never have sworn in front of my parents or anyone of their generation; but times have changed. I am 77 and although I don't generally expect foul language from the younger members of the family, as long as they're not swearing AT me or ABOUT me, I can accept it as an expression of irritation or annoyance. Most of my swearing is done when I'm on my own in the car, passing judgement on other drivers and occasionally to my sister when we are expressing similar opinions on matters of mutual concern.

Expletives are unnecessary. Rarely used nicely, frequently used aggressively. My opinion.

I wouldn't be happy with this. Not everyone is used to swearing in their homes and around family and it's the height of disrespect to swear in front of tem. Telling you in advance is like putting you to a test, probably knowing it would curdle your stomach. I have had experience like this with my DD many years ago. He turned out a control freak who was sending out his signals that he was in charge.

PS: I am not advocating swearing either. I don't swear that often. I prefer not to hear it either. However given how my life turned out I don't class it as top of my things to bother me

I am with Brigidsdaughter on this one, its all about respect. I occasionally swear, but I know when its acceptable and when its not. Basically if I am with anyone who doesnt like it, or anyone who I dont know that well, then I would take care not to swear. Its really not OK to offend people. I never swore in front of my future in-laws as a mark of respect, and my son-in-law doesnt swear to me which I really appreciate as a compliment. My daughter swears to me and I swear when talking to her because we are in a different type of relationship.

lollee, thank you.

driverann, that made me chuckle.