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AIBU to not like my name being shortened?

(110 Posts)
Sazz1006 Mon 04-Jun-18 22:23:49

Ok, so my name is Sally and I’m over 60. AIBU to expect people who I barely know to call me by my full, two syllable name! Apart from my brother and a couple of friends I’ve known since I was 11, no one calls me Sal, not even my DH. Recently a couple of people I have only just met constantly call me Sal and I don’t like it! I would never shorten someone’s name unless they invited me to. What do other people think?

ninathenana Tue 05-Jun-18 07:47:39

Officially i.e. passport etc. my first name begins with E but even mum and dad called me by my middle name which begins with J and is very short. It has two longer versions and very often when I meet new people they call me by one of them.
My friend has a daughter whos name is 5 letters (two syllables) and the shorten it to 3 letters (one syllable) confused it's such a pretty name too.

OldMeg Tue 05-Jun-18 08:04:44

So just say nicely ‘I prefer Sally’

Marydoll Tue 05-Jun-18 08:06:33

I had an aunt called "auntie Sis". After she died, I found out her name was actually Mary.
She was the eldest of six and all the siblings called her "Sis", so all the cousins thought that was her name.
My son is called Anthony, my husband and Iare the only people who call him that. Siblings, his partner and friends all call him Tony, but it just doesn't feel right.
He says that if I pronounce his name An T ony, everything is goodIf I put the emphasis on An TH ony, , he knows he is in trouble. I was totally unaware that I that.?

Panache Tue 05-Jun-18 08:09:31

My parents/grandparents were kind in thinking ahead when I was being christened as my first two names are lengthy and named after each one of them,but I am actually called by the shorter and more acceptable one beginning with J.

Except when its anything Medical and the nurse calls in a rather loud voice by the first name..... F................and I look around wondering whom it is she is calling.............then the penny drops, and I realise yes,its me!!!

felice Tue 05-Jun-18 08:10:10

DD has always used her full name, until we moved here and discovered that French speakers cannot pronounce it. She allows them to shorten it but everyone else uses her full name.

DanniRae Tue 05-Jun-18 08:15:20

One of the short versions of my name - I am not really called Danni - is ok but one sounds a bit young for a lady of my mature years and I cringe when people call me by it. No one calls me by my full name except if I am at the doctors etc.
Sazz if you want to be called Sally just say "I prefer Sally" to your new friends!!

sunseeker Tue 05-Jun-18 08:21:26

The only person who shortens my name is one of my sisters-in-law. I hate it, but she is such a lovely person that I put up with it!

Sazz1006 Tue 05-Jun-18 08:23:01

Glad it’s not just me! Just a funny aspect of the shortening. When I was in my first job all those years ago when I was 16, Benny Hill did a sketch set in past times when the letter S was written like an elongated F. The main character was called ‘Sad eyed Sal’ but he pronounced it Fad eyed Fal. At work, they started to call me Fad Eyed Fal, which was then shortened to ‘Fad eyed’, then Fad. I was known as Fad until I left!

Juggernaut Tue 05-Jun-18 08:29:53

Almost everyone I know calls me by the shortened version of my name.
My name is French, and lovely, but with my married surname, it all kind of rolls into one when spoken, the shortened version is clearer.
DS always uses his shortened name, it really suits him. DGS was given a name which apparently can't be shortened, but I manage it!
Sazz My best friends name is Sue, but her husband calls her 'Sal'!

Welshwife Tue 05-Jun-18 08:46:51

We always call DD by a shortened version of her name which she prefers - but when she was a child she knew she was in trouble if I called her by the full version!

In the part of South Wales I lived, and go back to, once people get to know you they shorten your name to the first syllable only. To me it is a sign you have been accepted so I don’t mind at all.

Gagagran Tue 05-Jun-18 08:56:42

I thought noone could shorten my DS's name which is Adam but his friends (and he himself) call him Ads!

My DD is Sally and often gets Sal which I think is just an affectionate form. She doesn't mind.

TwiceAsNice Tue 05-Jun-18 09:00:05

My name is French and is fine if said the French way. The sound emphasis gets changed when said in English and I hate that. The only person who said it correctly was my music teacher in school and she only said it that way to humiliate me in class. I have shortened my name for many years and old friends know my original name but newer people ( friends and colleagues) never realise that my name is longer than I say. I think my mother had illusions of grandeur when she named me. She gave my brother a much more manageable name

Greyduster Tue 05-Jun-18 09:04:29

I hated my name from an early age. When I was young, it seeemed rather exotic compared to my peer group so I shortened it myself. Now the only person who uses it is my doctor and I don’t feel disposed to take her to task about it! Both my son and SiL have the same Christian name (yes, confusing!) and it gets shortened all the time but never by me.

harrigran Tue 05-Jun-18 09:12:13

DD and I have the same first name but from being tiny has insisted on the short version which is okay or it was until she went to live abroad as when it is written down people think it is a man's name. She has told the story many times where the meeter and greeter walks past and extends a hand to the man behind her, she thinks it is funny.

sparkly1000 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:21:02

Your in good company Sally, when Princes William and Henry were born Diana made it quite clear that they should be known as Will's and Harry.

PamelaJ1 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:36:23

To the many that have suggested that we should introduce ourselves by the name we would prefer to be called and remind the other person if they get it “wrong”.
Been there, done that. I give up in the end.
Pam rhymes with spam and ham, Lovely!

Skweek1 Tue 05-Jun-18 09:46:37

My aunt and parents hated shortened names, so my cousin was Helen and I was Sheila - my cousin was called Hel at school and - worse, I was She. My adopted Brazilian sister added a circumflex accent, which I do like, but chose names for my children which have nice pet forms. Except that my DS is Andrew - I was not going to allow Andy, but like Drew. Guess what? - he hates Drew and likes Andy. You can't win.

GrandmaMoira Tue 05-Jun-18 09:48:41

My name is not generally shortened but nearly always mispronounced. I don't understand why it is so difficult to say but it's such a common issue that I don't bother correcting people, although it is irritating. What really annoys me is that my surname is one of those which can be a man's name and I hate being called that. Last time it happened (in the dentist) I said, that's not my name, I am not a man. In any case, it is rude to just use a surname without Miss/Mrs in front of it.

NanaRayna Tue 05-Jun-18 09:53:21

I hated my full name so much I changed it - officially! - to the shortened version. I found out later that the original was a 'compromise' name to keep everyone happy - and disliked it even more for that!

benhamslc Tue 05-Jun-18 09:56:17

My Dad was the only one that shorten my name most other people call me by my full name. If new friends shorten it, I normally tell them straight away that i prefer my name in full.

M0nica Tue 05-Jun-18 10:00:32

We are all entitled to be called by the names that we choose. DGD has recently made it clear that she is 'Izzy' (spelling is important) not Isobel, her full name, that I have always used in the past, but no more.

I have a three syllable name always used in full to differentiate me from my DM and DGM, who had the same name but used different dimunitives. Depending on the circumstances, if anyone does shorten my name I either ask them not to or just ignore them if the do. If they are not using the name I choose to be known by they are not talking to me, but someone else.

In my whole life only one person has ever got away with shortening my name, and he was neither my DH nor ever a romantic interest, he just had a way with him.

Grannyris Tue 05-Jun-18 10:01:13

I shorten my name myself, both in written and spoken conversations - from Jennifer to Jen. I'm afraid it needles me when someone calls me Jenny! I do like the fact that many organisations now ask how you would like to be addressed - in that case I prefer to be called by my married name! Complicated isn't it?!

allsortsofbags Tue 05-Jun-18 10:01:27

Funny things can happen to names.

However, if you don't like how people change your name then it more than reasonable for you to let them know. It's you they are addressing and it is only right that you be comfortable with the address.

I don't like my name being shortened as it ends up being She. Then I can hear my mother say "who's She, the cat's mother". So a bittersweet experience :-( I often get called Sheila, not my name, if I won't see again I don't correct them, life is too short but there are times when I do want them to use my name.

Dh doesn't like his name shortened and yet his sister still does it after 60+ years of being asked not to, he just lets her do it now lol.

DD1 always uses her shortened name and if her name is reduced to it's shortest version people often expect a male and a bit like harrigran's DD, D1 thinks it's funny.

We didn't think DD2's name could be shortened but some people managed it and some friends changed and lengthened it to a lovely term of endearment. Go figure as DD's say grin

glammanana Tue 05-Jun-18 10:09:48

When trying to name my youngest son we had great difficulty as all the names we came up with could be shortened,OH chose Benjamin which we both liked but could be shortened to Ben so we settled on Benn and do you know what when he was at school he always got called Benjamin !! you just can't win when it comes to names.

LynneB59 Tue 05-Jun-18 10:10:29

I often have the problem of people adding to my name - Mine's Lynne but some people have called me Linda, which annoys me. Nothing wrong with the name Linda, but's it's not my name. One of my neighbours does it all the time, so I now call her Josephine, knowing full well that her name's Joanne.