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AIBU

AIBU to expect a gift?

(90 Posts)
Jalima1108 Wed 13-Jun-18 13:50:00

Sometimes, however, on my last birthday he said he didn't know what to buy me and when we were out shopping I found a handbag I liked and said 'You can buy me this for a belated birthday present'.
I do like to choose some things myself.

cornergran Wed 13-Jun-18 13:38:15

I had a birthday recently. Wasn’t fussed about a present and said so. It was Mr C who sulked until I gave in a few weeks post birthday. Good job we aren’t all the same smile.

HAZBEEN Wed 13-Jun-18 13:37:04

My OH always buys me a card for birthdays, christmas, valentines and our anniversary. Gifts on the other hand are a different matter. He usually ask me what I want then gives me the money to get it! I alawys buy him a gift more often than not something he has mentioned he would like in passing at some stage or maybe something I know he needs.
He has been working away from home for a week but is back tomorrow, which is also our anniversary so I will hopefully get a card but as he hasnt been here to see the date marked on the calendar I am not sure!!

Maggiemaybe Wed 13-Jun-18 13:32:47

We’ve only recently stopped exchanging presents unless inspiration strikes, but I’d be very narked if I didn’t get a card and a meal or a trip out.

ninathenana Wed 13-Jun-18 13:25:23

We always buy each other a card, I'd love to unwrap a present not knowing what's inside. What usually happens with us is if we are out and about in the weeks before my birthday and I say I like something H will buy it and save it for the day. A meal out would be at my suggestion.
Fine by me as he dosen't drive and it would mean him getting a train to shop.
I always try to surprise him but sometimes have to ask what to buy.

Maybelle Wed 13-Jun-18 13:11:08

W still exchange gifts and cards and I would be quite sorry if we stopped. But we don't do surprise gifts usually.
However I now ask AC for trips out for lunch out etc instead of gifts for birthdays and mother's day.

grannyactivist Wed 13-Jun-18 13:05:46

I don't think UABU, but to be honest I sort of agree with your husband, although I do think a card would not have gone amiss. Your husband's approach is pretty similar to that of mine with my (beloved) parents in law. I do buy them cards, but gifts are always 'events' nowadays and very loosely planned. For their birthday we said that we would take them to a wine tasting, but they are so busy (as are we) that it's a mammoth task getting our diaries co-ordinated and months on we still haven't been able to agree a date for it. My in-laws know they are loved and that's the important thing.
I often get belated gifts from my husband for birthdays or Christmas and I don't mind at all, but I do like to get a card.

stella1949 Wed 13-Jun-18 13:00:29

It was my birthday last week too. I didn't expect a gift - we don't do that any more. We went out for a meal, that is the only thing we do these days. The idea of sulking about the absence of a gift, seems rather childish to me.

nanaK54 Wed 13-Jun-18 12:57:59

exactly what jusnoneed said grin
My DH had been known to buy presents such as a new iron or a grassbox for the lawnmower grin

Jane10 Wed 13-Jun-18 12:55:45

Can you not prime AC to remind him and 'secretly' pass on suggestions?

jusnoneed Wed 13-Jun-18 12:48:21

We gave up giving gifts for birthdays or christmas many years back. My OH has no imagination at all, gave some rubbish presents so in the end I said don't bother.
If we want something we buy it ourselves. Does away with all the "what do you want..?" queries too.

Allegretto Wed 13-Jun-18 12:42:52

I would not be happy. I think your husband has taken an easy (dare I say lazy?) option. It would be tempting to stop buying gifts for him, but that would not help in that he probably wouldn’t care and then he would feel justified in not buying you a gift in future. I would be making my feelings known, but I would probably do so (repeatedly) in a subtle way. I would become increasingly less subtle until he got the message. In the meantime I would be treating myself (repeatedly).

kittylester Wed 13-Jun-18 12:41:10

What Monica said except I like surprises rather than to be asked.

Im afraid I would have sulked! blush

M0nica Wed 13-Jun-18 12:37:49

Yes, we still exchange gifts, although, neither of us being romantics, we usually ask each other what we would like

And , no, you are not being unreasonable, to expect something. I wouldn't think twice about raising the issue. He could at least have sorted out a meal for that evening.

LyndaW Wed 13-Jun-18 12:21:56

Over the years my husband has become increasingly rubbish at presents. When we first met he was such a romantic and would whisk me off on weekends away (albeit sometimes camping but that was fine by me) or buy me really thoughtful gifts for our anniversary or my birthday. Sometimes they were expensive but more often than not they weren't and were just really carefully decided on. It was my birthday last week and I got a peck on the cheek and a suggestion of an evening out 'at some point'. He also said he didn't bother with a card or gift because cards are a waste and I don't need any new things, do I? (I've been decluttering recently so he's using that as an excuse). I'm quite upset and don't really know how to broach it without sounding demanding? Do you still exchange gifts? AIBU?