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AIBU

He is a trier.

(41 Posts)
Nanawind Sat 28-Jul-18 20:21:05

Our DD marriage split up over 6 years ago, she got a new partner quite quickly she has 3 children and they treat him like a real dad.,(dad is a wan***).
My god he is Mr opionated he knows how to drive (no license), he can do all electrical problems (not electron) now he's as educated as a doctor.
This in the past we have tried to ignore and in private laugh. This week has been the week from hell and he is getting on our nerves.
No reason to post just need to vent.
As long as the grandkids love him who are we to complain.

melp1 Tue 31-Jul-18 14:41:41

Agree with Sodapop - Sounds like he's trying to impress - perhaps you could try a little flattery and he will then feel more confident?

Jalima1108 Mon 30-Jul-18 15:08:01

That's not a nice post Margs
The Kray twins were gangsters and criminals.

This man does sound like someone I knew - we nicknamed him Walter Mitty.

Nanawind Mon 30-Jul-18 12:15:23

Please note he doesn't drive just comments from the back seat. Read my post properly.

Margs Mon 30-Jul-18 11:39:18

So, this guy is a Jack-Of-All-Trades-But-Master-Of-Non? Knows about everything but presumably has no qualifications or proper training to back it all up? If he's driving around with no license it would make me wonder what else he gets up to that's 'under the police radar'.......He sounds a right Jack The Lad!

And so were the Kray Twins.

maddy629 Mon 30-Jul-18 07:02:52

If I were you Nanawind I would count my blessings that your daughter has someone who loves her, and she is not on her own with three kids to raise.

Nannarose Sun 29-Jul-18 15:33:10

Yes, you still can do certain electrical work, and some has to be checked off by a qualified electrician. There are some details on gov.uk and your local building inspector can deal with more specific queries.
I only add this because I happen to know, and it has been mentioned.

merlotgran Sun 29-Jul-18 12:25:22

Anyone who can put up with a back seat driver deserves a medal.

ReadyMeals Sun 29-Jul-18 12:21:36

Yeah you used to be allowed to do electrics as long as it was checked off by a qualified person. There are still some you can do at home. I am not sure where the threshold is though

grandtanteJE65 Sun 29-Jul-18 11:57:14

I fully understand Nannawind why this gets your goat!

Airing it here is far, far better than commenting upon it to family, which you know, and don't do.

Sounds to me as if your DD's partner has a very large chip on his shoulder and boasts of all the things he can do (and perhaps some he can't) to impress.

As far as possible, let it go in the one ear and out the other.

If he is actually doing electrical work in the home that it is illegal to do unless one is a qualified electrician, driving without a licence or treating people without the proper medical qualifications, then he is breaking the law.

However, if you try to take the matter up with him, it will lead to one almighty family row, as like as not. If he is just saying he can do all these things better than those who have studied the subjects, then it's annoying, but try just to change the subject when he starts.

Nanawind Sun 29-Jul-18 11:55:04

No he doesn't drive, just a back seat one.

Jalima1108 Sun 29-Jul-18 11:40:56

I didn't get the impression that he is actually driving without a license, rather that he is a 'back seat driver' and knows better than anyone about cars, driving, road conditions etc.

ReadyMeals Sun 29-Jul-18 11:22:17

He may genuinely know all this stuff (exception is driving without a licence which is just plain criminal). But anyone can read the same stuff that doctors and electricians learn from, the only difference is they've taken exams to prove they've read it. So any lay person can know just enough electrics to wire their normal house, and just enough medicine to tell the difference between appendicitis and norovirus.

quizqueen Sun 29-Jul-18 11:19:33

I would be tempted to say in a jokey way,' Well, when you've passed your test, you can comment on my driving. When you've qualified as an electrician/doctor or whatever, you can diagnose my medical condition, come and repair my electrics etc.' It may just shut him up for a bit if he knows you are fed up with hearing his comments.

Camelotclub Sun 29-Jul-18 11:15:21

He's insecure so resorts to childish boasting. Just nod when he starts up!

Nannarose Sun 29-Jul-18 11:04:46

I hesitate to add to the 'week from hell', and I hope you can find some time to recover from it all.
However, I can't let a post like this go by without adding my 2 penn'orth to those saying 'keep your eye on the ball'.
People like Aepgirl's aunt sound harmless if irritating. If their 'dad' makes a fuss around some people, being a bit bumptious, it probably does your GCs no harm. We've all known people like that!
But if he pretends serious knowledge he doesn't have, or seems to be role modelling lying, then I would be keep a note of it, not to tackle now, but to use if necessary in the future.
I hope he is just, to use an old-fashioned phrase 'a barrack room lawyer'.

Jalima1108 Sun 29-Jul-18 11:04:12

Perhaps he is still trying to impress you all nanawind

Someone dear to us found someone like that (or he found her) after she was widowed. They were both quite elderly though. He tried to impress us all with his expertise, his tales of derring-do (hmm), who he knew etc - but he did make her very happy I must say.

I hope things improve for you and your family flowers

sarahellenwhitney Sun 29-Jul-18 10:46:16

Only when he attempts to 'control' which he doesn't appear to be doing but ' annoys' you with his 'know it all', as long as DD and DGC are happy then that it is what matters.

sarahellenwhitney Sun 29-Jul-18 10:39:16

Only when he attempts to 'control' which he doesn't appear to be doing but ' annoys' you with his 'know it all', as long as DD and DGC are happy then that it is what matters.

merlotgran Sun 29-Jul-18 10:32:33

That really is a week from hell, Nanawind. Sorry. I thought it was related to DD's partner.

You'll just have to grit your teeth, ignore him and focus on the things that are causing you so much anxiety at the moment.

flowers

Bluegal Sun 29-Jul-18 10:31:14

I feel OP just needs to scream so is venting on here rather than complaining or expecting any advice. Probably seen to much of the guy this week for whatever reason ?.

If you know anyone like she describes, you would understand. I don’t think he will literally be “driving “ without a licence but will tell everyone else how to drive ??.

Nanawind Sun 29-Jul-18 10:28:53

eazybee the reason it's been the week from hell our youngest grandson had a burst appendix, DH diagnosed with cancer and mil had a heart attack.
This is the only place I can vent as I wouldn't deliberately hurt his feelings.

kazziecookie Sun 29-Jul-18 10:28:29

Before I married my DH I dated a guy that sounds like this. I was sometimes embarrassed when we were in company with friends and my 2 daughters couldn’t stand him (they were 10 & 12) but in private he could be so nice. Also because he thought a lot of me it really boosted my confidence which was really low after my girls father had left me for a close friend.
In the end though I had to stop seeing him as he really was too much and I knew he was not right for me.
Luckily I met DH and we have now been married 19 years.

merlotgran Sun 29-Jul-18 10:24:27

I thought the same, eazybee. It's all very well everyone saying, 'So long as they're happy' etc., but a week from hell?

What's that all about?

eazybee Sun 29-Jul-18 10:21:12

'We don't need to be impressed as long as he takes care of DD and DKs that's all we ask.'

So why are you complaining then?
Why has the past week been a week from hell?

GabriellaG Sun 29-Jul-18 10:06:08

I sincerely hope he *doesn't drive*without having a licence. That would be criminally dangerous.
Likewise, fiddling with electricity without proper knowledge, just to save face. He sounds a right Walter Mitty.
Why does he tell those porkies? He must have no self worth.