To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

The mind bloody boggles at times.
That's all.

Several posters have spoken of their loss so you have had plenty to laugh at gransruleok, I said I lost two babies so I gave you a double dose of laughter

Hmm, we always have a good laugh when we hear that someone has “lost” a loved one or friend. We usually say “how very careless”, should have kept a better eye on them..

Some are very uncomfortable with grief, when my husband died my parents rushed to be with me, my sisters were in the house before my parents arrived, he was killed on my mothers birthday and one of my sisters said - don’t cry in front of Mum you will upset her and her birthday has been spoilt already.

I've never used passed or passed away, I say died or is dead. I've often heard people describe the loss of a loved one and empathise with that, it describes a feeling rather than an event though.
I'd never criticise someone else for using euphemisms. As for taking the wotsit, by asking some one 'what did they pass, their driving test' or similar - give me and the world a break.
We all manage bereavements in our own way and the way we name the death, the loss of a loved one, is our business, not that of anyone else.

Having taught primary and secondary school children ,they find the use of "gone to sleep" and "passed away" confusing ,and little kids find going to sleep worrying as they think that's what happens,and they worry about it!
And they think if they ,mum ,dad,go to sleep ,they won't wake up,but it depends what makes you feel okay,my husband died age 30 and I used the word died.
Our daughter was nearly five so I told her that daddy had gone to be a twinkle star,and when she was a little older I explained what that meant.

There is no right or wrong ,died is a blunt word,it's very final,and passed sounds gentle.
I am a medium and always use the word pass,to people I read for,but spirit uses the word dead,

It's such a horrific thing to go through ,the words are all meaning the same.

We in this country are really uncomfortable about saying anything about death,and really do drop you or cross the road.this has happened to me.
In Europe it's much more open ,the morning is open,feelings and tears are open and very much natural.

Hen visiting Spain,I was asked where my husband was when visiting with my daughter,I said Ma Marido est muerte, simply my husband has died,and a plethora of black scarved grannies came out. To pat my hand ,cry with me,wring their hands a bit,it was strangely refreshing!

Use the words that you can cope with, for me ,I felt passed and fell asleep where not right for me.

Eglantine, for me it isn’t easy, never has been, I slip, pick myself up and keep trying , I think all Christians do the same. It’s for life once one decides to dedicate one’s life to him, not pick and choose.

I shouldn’t have tacked this onto this thread. I’m sorry. I got a bit waylaid by some of the latter comments.

I suppose I’m just thinking about the things that Jesus said.

If you have two coats, give one to somebody who hasn’t got one. Comfort the sick, feed the hungry, visit those in prison.
In as much as you do it not to one of these you do it not to me.

Is it alright to say well he didn’t really mean that but he did mean I will have a place in heaven.

St Paul talked about running the race, about athletes denying pleasures, training and pummelling their bodies for a fading earthly prize and how it was necessary for Christians to undertake discipline and make an even greater effort to win their heavenly prize.

Being a Christian is a serious business I think. Everybody has the opportunity to deny themselves and give to others, but not many do to the extent of caring for others ( not their family,that’s easy) more than they care for themselves.

No I’m not convinced by the pick and chose of what’s in the Gospels. If I was going to do it I’d have to face the demands as well as the gifts.

This is real, serious thinking that I do. Not a “have a go” at religion. I didn’t reject the Christian religion without studying it and seeing if it worked in practice.

True Starbox. I do know others who have made sacrifices to their own lives to serve others for God. You don't have to be living a miserable existence though in order to be a Christian.

I'm not sure, Eglantine. Some people end up in circumstances requiring heroism, but if you're an ordinary soul- married, kids, a job, duties to family & friends, not exceptionally gifted - then you may well find your life is just a series of small events, you never get the chance to do anything massive; surely then it's about doing the best you can with the card you've been dealt? Otherwise only people in dire suffering would ever merit eternal life?

I know many Christians who are very happy and don't feel they are sacrificing anything. Like what? My mother in law lived for her family and others. She delighted in sharing what she had and looking after neighbours . She enjoyed socialising with others, having holidays, worshipping and sharing her faith with fellow Christians. All with the peace and happiness of believing in God and eternal life. What did she sacrifice?

I’ve been thinking about your post annep, especially your MIL who said she had nothing to lose because being a Christian was a lovely life.

That’s not the Christian life that Jesus talks about in the Gospels though, is it? Following him is hard, it demands sacrifice, loss, denying yourself, giving up your desires and needs, giving up the lovely life lived in the way that gives you pleasure to meet the demand Follow me.

If someone is living a lovely life without following what Jesus said are they living a Christian life?
Can they expect the prize if they haven’t really entered the race?

Sending out love to the people on this post who have suffered such heartbreaking losses.

Lyndiloo, I am so sorry, such pain for you, I expect come their birthdays you wonder how they would have grown up, I do.

I have always had faith, and I believe those I grieve for are with God, Christ told us - I go to prepare a place for you.

20 years absence! I do wish we had an edit facility as on fb.

Yes everyone this is totally off the post! Lyndiloo I agree. That's why I was saying it serves no purpose to shake or try to destroy someone's belief. Just like you my mother in law said she had nothing to lose by being a Christian because it was a lovely life. And if she was wrong it wouldn't matter. I'm actually thinking of returning to church (after 30 years absence) as it gives me such a peaceful feeling. Friends have been talking recently too about arrangements for when they pass away/die and church is part of it for many.

Anniebach Reading your post made me so sad. What a horrible, distressing time you've had. (I don't know how you've managed to come through all that grief.) I, too, lost two babies - twin boys - one died at 4 days old, and one at 4 months. And that had me devastated for years. I still have a good cry about that awful time in my life, sometimes. My love and admiration goes out to you.

annep Whatever gets you through - that's the purpose a belief in life after death serves. I certainly believe that we do not die. We just die from here. And I'm sure that we will all be re-united with our loved-ones, someday. This may all be bunkum! But it doesn't really matter ... If it's true, I shall find out one day and be full of joy! If it's not, I won't know, or care.

(Sorry - I've gone off the subject of the original post.)

One of mine:-

Untitled I
I do not mourn you every day
I may forget you for a space,
But forever in my eyes
Lies the shadow of your face.

I agree. passed on its own sounds just wrong!

It's a horrible phrase...'passed ' always sounds like it should be followed by something yukky..wind, water, kidney stones... It's 'passed AWAY'.

Some people believe that they will pass on to a new life with God. It's a lovely belief. I would not shake that belief. It serves no purpose.

youtu.be/MUBc6-keVIQ
Its a lovely song!

I don't want to die yet, but I know I must at some point. I do not believe in a spiritual afterlife. Both my parents died relatively young Mum at 61 and Dad at 66 and 5 of my cousins died when children or young adults from very different causes. But all of them are talked about, remembered regularly with much love and laughter.
This is a song that sums it up for me, especially the chorus.

We have cleared off the table, the leftovers saved,
Washed the dishes and put them away
I have told you a story and tucked you in tight
At the end of your knockabout day
As the moon sets its sails to carry you to sleep
Over the midnight sea
I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company.

CHORUS:
You can be anybody you want to be,
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around,
You can choose one special one
And the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're done.

There are girls who grow up strong and bold
There are boys quiet and kind
Some race on ahead, some follow behind
Some go in their own way and time
Some women love women, some men love men
Some raise children, some never do
You can dream all the day never reaching the end
Of everything possible for you.

Don't be rattled by names, by taunts, by games
But seek out spirits true
If you give your friends the best part of yourself
They will give the same back to you.

When I talk to my children I don't say die. I say something like when Ive departed this world, shuffled off this mortal coil etc...anything but die!