in-laws

Sorry none of it adds up to me, on the one hand there is no contact and on the other it's the amount of times you get critiscised. it makes no sense to me. Clearly there is contact or you're surmising. You thing you having Bi polar is the issue for her yet left that out of your original post, why?

think not thing doh

I can’t make it all add up either Lizzy. I thinkI remember your original post, though I think you must have used a different name because I can’t find it.

Didn’t you say that your DIL doesn’t speak English in that post even though she’d been here some time?

And how is there constant criticism if you are not in contact?

Also you mention your “kids”. Are there others apart from your son that you could move close to?

You say you're bi-polar, but that's no reason for your son and his horrible-sounding wife to treat you so badly. What is the real reason they haven't let you see your grandchildren for 3 years? ave you actually asked them for a proper explanation?

I'm afraid your son sounds weak and just as mean as his wife.

Is your bipolar well controlled - are you stable on your current medication and therapy regime?

Did something specific happen after which your access to the grandchildren was withdrawn?

How bad were the conflicts you mention in the last few years?

Hi everyone, Many thanks for your helpful comments. When we first arrived from the South Pacific we were invited to stay with DS and DIL till we got our own place. DIL constantly critiscised us. e.g. one day she asked me to bring some cake home from town. So I did. She took one look at it and said 'That's rubbish! I'm not giving that to my family. It's full of sugar and chemicals!' We were there at Mother's Day and DH and I gave her a nice bunch of flowers Her reaction? 'What did you get these for? I'm not your mother!' I didn't know where to look. And that's the way it continued till one day she started at DH and that developed into a yelling match. We left and haven't been allowed back since. We got a flat. My son began visiting us every week for an hour. We did ask if his wife was willing to meet and see if we could sort out a compromise. She wasn't. I sent apologies etc but they were never accepted. We still see our son, but since then have not seen our grandkids. They say we can't see them, write to them, email them, phone them, send Christmas, Easter, or birthday presents, and that is how things are. We did try sending pressies one year, but they were returned to us 11 months later. Previously, before the split we asked if we could take the kids into town for an afternoon. By this time they were aged 8 and 10. The answer was no. When I asked why not the answer was that DIL 'doesn't know us and doesn't trust us.' This led me into a suicidal depression. I told my son who said no, that was not their fault. (Actually it was.) The Bi-polar is pretty well-controlled now, but it took a long long time to achieve this
control and my hubby makes sure I get enough sleep (which I need to do). Maybe mental illness is a stigmatised in her culture? I have no other kids in this country to move closer to, but I do have rellies in another county, so maybe it's as well to move on and put it behind us. Thank you all for your coments.X