AIBU...to expect my friend to leave her dog at home?

IS the OP willing to meet up on neutral ground with the dog? I thought not!

Jura2 I was answering the point about guests objecting to the resident dog (or cat). And I was trying to be diplomatic. If I was being totally honest I don’t want a guest in my house who isn’t dog-friendly. They came in the front door and they can just leave the same way. I will even offer to hold it open and hurry them on their way!

This is all purely hypothetical as it’s never happened yet, but! Hey Ho! I’m always open to new experiences despite my advanced years.

??

Totally- but in the case of the OP- a bit of give and take would be fine. It seems just as intolerant to either insist on taking a dog to someone who does clearly not want them there- and at the same time refuse to find a solution with a meet-up elsewhere, where the dog would be allowed to (as long as no real allergies involved, or serious mobility issues).

Friendship = give and take.

We have recently e-mailed friends who invited us a long time ago to stay at their place in France next autumn, to explain the situation with little Emma. We have asked for their frank and honest reply - and said that if they would rather not have the dog- we will stay in a local B&B or Hôtel, and spend time with them outside their home. We have booked a gîte for a week after our visit to them, where the dog is welcome, with a supplement.

Absolutely sodapop and I’m fortunate that all my friends have well behaved dogs.

Chewbacca my dogs behave. They don’t shed or have fleas or leap upon guests.

I think what we have here on this thread is the voice of the anti-dog brigade dominating. I honestly don’t know any badly behaved dogs except my next door neighbour’s rescue dog which will bite if you try to touch it. Message loud and clear DO NOT TOUCH. Judging by the scars and burn marks in its body, I’d probably bite you too if I’d been through what he has.

Yes, doubtless there are unsocialised dogs out there of which an unusually large proportion of whom seem to have upset GNetters! Having said that it’s not always the dog’s fault, I feel like growling aggressively at some of the posts on here!!

?????

only joking

You're absolutely right OldMeg, you shouldnt have to lock away your pet in its own home. But you should also be aware that your guest may not appreciate your dog scratching at their legs to keep saying hello and get attention; leap onto their laps the minute they sit down and cover them in animal hair or sit next to them on the sofa and keep pawing at them.

If you have a poorly trained animal, you have to accept that your friendship circle may shrink because of it.

I agree OldMeg but conversely dogs should be taught appropriate behaviour around visitors. As a host its up to me to ensure my guest is as comfortable as possible in my home.

No one should have to lock away or apologise for their pets in their own house.

Grandetante

The reason I don't shut our cats up or put them out is that they are inside cats. I would be worried that Gatsby and Jayda would take off, and Mr. Bigglesworth is rather helpless so I don't think he would last 2 hours out there. If I put them in a room they will whine to get out. Fortunately, Biggie and Gatsby are very friendly. Jayda is more shy, but she will come and sit in the room where the people are. Everyone is fixed so there are no worries about spraying or heat.

I was responding to this comment 'Smoking hasn't been allowed in hotels, pubs or B&Bs in the UK since July 2007, so not much chance that they'll still be stinking in 2018.' - which seemed to indicate little understanding of the French or Italian attitude of smokers to the Law... lol
Yes I realised that, but as a comment it didn’t warrant a patronising dismissal.

(Ce serait plutôt un copeau de bois -? )

Lol!

Or Greeks, or Spaniards, etc.

Oh dear MB, that frite sur l'épaule will make you fall over one day.

I was responding to this comment 'Smoking hasn't been allowed in hotels, pubs or B&Bs in the UK since July 2007, so not much chance that they'll still be stinking in 2018.' - which seemed to indicate little understanding of the French or Italian attitude of smokers to the Law... lol.

Touche! Maw

LOL and you really think that that stops smokers ;) really ?
Add comment | Report | Private message jura2 Thu 16-Aug-18 19:42:02
certainly not abroad, for sure, in areas where banned, or no

Er, yes, to the first.
And regarding that big place “abroad” thank you for enlightening those poor benighted souls who have clearly never ventured forth and “know nothing”.
(Probably Leave voters too)

I don't mind well behaved dogs coming to visit, or even well behaved children.
Short visits, preferably.

Well im not a dog lover,and luckily i have friends without dogs so not a problem for me,but i also wouldnt want a dog brought into my home.

Menopaws, we adopted Emma in traumatic circumstances, aged 13, and circumstances mean she can't be left alone for long, in our rural house away from neighbours, and not at all at our flat in the UK. So we choose carefully who we visit, and the cafés and restaurants where she is welcome. She is good as gold, and very well behaved, and we sit quietly in a corner. We of course do not go to cafés and restaurants where dogs are not welcome- so everyone can choose- same for Hôtel, B&Bs, etc. Quite simple.

Dogs are my choice but would never inflict them on others, mine are trained to stay at home/in car as necessary and if I am at a place for a long time they curl up quietly in the corner unless welcomed by all but would never take him to a restaurant as just unfair all round

Its not the non dog owners fault either.
And as non dog owners, why would they need to have untrained dogs in their homes?
The onus is on the owners.

It’s depressing how few people ever consider the dog, which has absolutely no power or say in whether it’s left at home or not.
A dog which barks and is destructive when left alone is UNHAPPY. A dog which does a poo as soon as it enters a particular house is stressed and feeling threatened.
A dog which begs at table has been trained to do so - it’s not the dog’s fault.

so, in short, totally reasonable to ban dogs in your home - but why not make the effort to meet half-way, somewhere where she can bring the dog- and ask her to keep dog away from you as they make you feel nervous. Fair, simple, done.

certainly not abroad, for sure, in areas where banned, or not.

LOL and you really think that that stops smokers ;) really?

Much rather have a room where dogs have been allowed, then stinking smokers, for sure.

Smoking hasn't been allowed in hotels, pubs or B&Bs in the UK since July 2007, so not much chance that they'll still be stinking in 2018.

I really like dogs although I am a bit nervous with big ones or meeting new ones. But I don't want one in the house. I have never had a friend bring one to the house. I dont know what I would do if they turned up with their dog. How do you say?.... I think I would just put on a false smile and disinfect everything when they left. (its the dog poo and not wiping that gets me). How do you say to a friend I don't want you to bring your dog? awkward.

Of course they smell- so if you don't want them in your home, that is totally fine- but agree to meet elsewhere. And if you don't want to stay in a Hôtel, B&B, etc, where dogs are allowed, just don't go there. Some Hôtels have rooms where dogs are allowed and others where they are not. As Telly says, many owners realise that accepting dogs, and charging a supplement (about £10 per night) - is bringing the punters and good money.

Much rather have a room where dogs have been allowed, then stinking smokers, for sure. A free choice.