Table Manners

I use the fork with the prongs turned downwards to "stab" the food and put it in my mouth. I never balance food on top of the prongs because it's bound to slide off and land in my lap!

What gets me is when people leave bits of food smeared all over the plate when they have finished eating. I was taught to scoop all the food up properly so as to leave the plate as clean as possible when I had finished.

My 3 hated being corrected for bad table manners.
My pet hate is knife licking?.
However whilst working overseas as an 18 year old my son had a British colleague who had dreadful table manners.
It was the first time he had lived in close proximity to someone with poor manners, he was unable to sit opposite her at mealtimes so had to sit next to her.
On his return home he thanked me for instilling good manners

The worst case of bad manners I've seen was in a local steak restaurant. A young couple were both glued to their screens. Their meals arrived. The girl stabbed her steak with a fork, lifted it whole and chewed on the end of it. Meanwhile she was texting with her other hand.

We were also taught that knife and fork are placed together, facing north south on the plate when you are finished eating.
Any uneaten food is scraped neatly to one side.

Not left at random angles.

wildswan16

The 'correct' position in which to place both items of cutlery when you have finished eating, is at either 5 or 7o'clock.

I was taught good table manners both at School and at home. Fork with the concave side up, knife held not like a pen but tucked into the palm of my hand.When meal finished leave the knife and fork together in the middle of the plate.
In the Country where I live everyone uses their knife as pen, very irritating, after their meal they leave their knife and fork anywhere on the plate, it seems to vary a lot .
They slurp when drinking, no matter what they are drinking, a noisy nation in many ways! Its their way.

It's Gabriella (two 'l's) and I think it's ok to point out that one word would suffice. People often get 'discrete' and 'discreet' mixed up. How are they to know if no-one tells them?

I actually had to get a knife and fork out to figure out how I eat... I push onto fork with knife and also scoop with fork...it depends what I am eating. The fork is very versatile...it's design proves that.

Nanny41
Fork with tines up (concave) when laying table.
Fork held convex (tines down) when using it to eat.

GabriellaG stop it! It's not nice to correct someone! and what is a pleb?

I agree with MOnica...English ‘meat and two veg’ gets strictly eaten with knife and fork with prongs pointed down ...sometimes turned up to make life with peas and sweetcirn easier to deal with especially for youngsters. Pastas ...curries... anything ‘sloppy’ can be eastern with fork in whatever hand suits . Meals are now flexible, and eaten them needs to be the same.Tbd only thing I insist on is manners. No getting up and leaving the table before you’ve asked and then there needs to be s a good reason for doing so.Cleaning away your own plates and putting in dishwasher or on work surface if dishwasher is full. I’m nanny not a servant.

"Phone for the fish knives Norman....." (from 'How to get on in Society' by John Betjeman). Having, like many other Gransnetters, been taught table manners as a child in our very humble household, I do agree wholeheartedly about the practice of holding a knife like a pen. Whenever I see people eating on TV I always note how they hold their cutlery - it can say a lot about the eater! And another thing... I was taught to lift my fork and spoon to my mouth rather than stick my head down towards the plate...

Now that I am old and shaky I use a spoon a lot of the time
As long as the food gets from plate to mouth why worry.

I was at a rather posh dinner recently, most of the people there were wealthy but half of them couldn't hold a knife and fork properly. I am neither wealthy nor posh but I do know I have good table manners. Clearly, it is not just young people who have been dragged up!!!

This is how children see Americans eating on TV programmes - I despair.

My grandchildren drive me nuts they use their fingers and they are 12,11,6 & 4!

Trying to crush peas on the back of a fork seems silly to me when you could just scoop them (which I do when I eat alone). Maybe there is time for a rethink.
I prefer our way of using cutlery to the American way of but as long as people eat in a reasonably neat and contained way (can't think of the way to describe it) I think it is not a bad thing that hang ups about the use of cutlery are going.
The common use of mugs would have seemed strange years ago.

I think most of us were brought up in a different age when table manners were very important, not so much the case now. It irritates me when the knife is held like a pen but I have seen worse things at table. Elbows off the table, no screens or reading matter and please eat quietly.
inishowen that was truly dreadful and just laziness.
I do think children should learn at home how to use utensils and be able to eat and drink without assistance when they go to school.

I now have problems with my wrists and hands, no problem eating most of the time but I was recently invited to an Indian Restaurant by friends.
The food was served in small deep bowls and I could not twist my joints to eat it.
A friend noticed and asked the waiter if I could have a plate, he became very snooty and refused.
Another friend called the manager and I got my plate and the cost of my meal was cancelled and a bottle of wine for the table.
I hate to sit next to messy eaters, a lot of the Restaurants here cram the tables in and sometimes the elbow spreading can be quite intimidating.

I have become more relaxed about cutlery after spending my DD's childhood picking her up about the way she used her knife only to find that the reason she was so awkward is because her joints over flex or dislocate. Both my sons have the same problem so scooping is better for their joints than pushing. As long as the peas stay on their plates rather than shooting across the table, I am happy.
Times change, once upon a time you would have been chastised for using the left hand for eating as it was considered to be the devil's hand. For me, as long as I can't see their food churning round in their mouth, can't hear their fork bashing against their teeth or hear them slurp, I'm happy.

Why is the assumption made by some people that bad things always come out of America (except Trump of course!).
In my experience, American and Canadian people have wonderful manners.

I think it very suburban and Hyacinth Bucket to worry about how other people hold their cutlery!

It's just another way to sneer at people - manners and table etiquette are two different things.

It's bad manners to make others feel uncomfortable. As long as people are considerate at the table and aren't beastly to the waiting staff I don't care how they load their peas!

I love my stwp children dearly but my goodness, they eat like pigs! I was so strict with my children, teaching them manners of every aspect, then I met my husband, also who I love to the ends of the earth, but he was never big on manners. It was a culture shock to myself and my children.
They chew with their mouths open, try to conduct a full conversation with food in their mouths. I do tell them every time they do it and thankfully my oldest stepson has learnt over the years. His manners are lovely now. It would be a joy to overcome the whole chewing and talking trauma, never mind cutlery!!!

Good manners is not criticising other people's manners.

And I agree with Monica about eating pasta, rice and couscous dishes - it's rather painful to see older, uptight British diners, using knives & forks 'correctly' poised.