Table Manners

GabriellaG are you American? I only ask because, here in the UK, one leaves one's knife and fork in the six thirty position with the tines facing upwards when finished. 5 o'clock or 7 o'clock scream American to me.

Its good manners to leave an empty plate or if not empty then tidy.
That reminded me of a very elderly great-aunt who would always leave a tiny bit of each type of food on her plate. Apparently that was considered good manners in the olden days (probably Victorian times!).
It always puzzled me as a child as I was always encouraged to try to eat up everything on my plate.

I find I often pick up chips and interesting bits of salad with my fingers these days.
Politely though.

I take BBQ ribs into my hands, we don't eat them with BBQ sauce. I advised the GCs to eat them like that with their teeth. I told them 'Thats what teeth are for' and hope they will not become vegetarian.
The rest of the time I feel that we need to be relaxed over methods of eating due to so many all-in-one meals.
Its good manners to leave an empty plate or if not empty then tidy.

Hilarious thread. Am enjoying all the contributions.

I hate eating with people who endlessly push food around their plate. They take an age and everything must be cold by the time they have finished. Like many other posters it is open mouthed eating that is a big put off for me.

I am left handed so use my knife in my left hand which according to most people is wrong. I also (shock horror) always drink any leftover milk from my cereal dish. I was brought up not to waste food but as mum was blind, largely left to work out utensil usage for myself.

Another personal dislike of mine is that TABLE manners are becoming a thing of the past as so many families do not have a table these days.

The fact that we are all debating this at length shows how lucky we are in a world that has huge swathes of populations with little or less to eat.

I think you need to get out more

My son is disabled...if we insisted on him holding the fork in a certain way then he woukd never manage to eat independently.

When we go out he will chose something like a chicken wrap and corn on the cob, so he can legitimately use his fingers.

MissA and lemongrove

I meant what's the best way to eat spaghetti when in company, not when I'm on my own (or just with DH)! Slurp slurp.

all joints on the table will be carved
We used to say 'all joints on the table should be cooked'

This post made me laugh. I am not British born and when I met my husband and saw him holding knive and fork like you are riding a motorbike, I thought his mother must have totally neglected his table manners and he was eating like a baby. Using a fork upside down and pick up peas on top just seemed utterly rediculous. There is a reason for a fork to have that shape. He was quite offended when I asked him if he had not been told how to hold knive and fork.

I was brought up with the saying "all joints on the table will be carved", and repeated it to my C and now my GC

Nowadays with our meals being more varied, different methods are needed. Chopsticks are used for chinese, forks and spoons for pasta and forks and chapatis/naans for Indian.

They do all laugh at me because I have a problem with "bones" and use a knife and fork for BBQ ribs.

As long as we have food on our table and having a joyous family meal who cares!!!

Personally, I never expect complete strangers to have the same standards as I do. Presumably they have their own.

Have you been peeking through my windows MissA

Yes.
You have to hunch over your plate, and then ram as many long strings of spaghetti into your mouth as possible.
Any which don't quite fill your cheeks to hamster proportions, you have to suck up, making a slurping sound.
The aim is to get the wayward spaghetti strings to slap against each cheek on its way into your mouth, leaving a red sauce 'smile' worthy of The Joker in a Batman film.

I use a spoon and fork to eat spaghetti and twist the spaghetti on to the fork using the bowl of the spoon.
What is the correct way to eat spaghetti? Does anyone know?

I have never thought about how I hold a knife and fork, so will pay attention to it when we have a meal later on.
When I was young, if a boyfriend held his knife like a pen I knew he would be on his way pdq.

Forks can be turned over to pick up peas.

I have noticed some of our Eastern European relatives tend not to put their knife and fork together when they have finished, they put them across the plate iyswim, like a clock at 2.45.

tiredoldwoman ?. Waste not, etc

Here goes - I like to lick my plate ! ( in private!)

Me too JustGrandma. I don’t know what my Grandmother would have made of our more relaxed attitudes but I bet she’s spinning in her grave at me ?

This is a very amusing thread.
I have never thought about how I hold a knife and fork, so will pay attention to it when we have a meal later on.
Bijou a spoon! I think you have the right idea there, less droppage and you can load it up more.
At the end of a meal I leave the cutlery at the six o clock position, it just seems natural, and I never leave anything on the plate for ‘Miss Manners’ either.
sluttygran I loved your description of what the baby does .
The only heinous crimes of the table ( to me) are slurping,
Talking with a full mouth and grabbing food instead of asking for it to be passed.

My gripe with cutlery is that we are rarely if ever provided with a dessert fork. I’m not keen on watching people pushing pudding on to their spoons with their fingers.

This thread is hilarious. I don't give a fig how anyone holds their cutlery or eats their food. Who are we to judge? All these Hyacinth Bucket type 'naiceties' are a hang up of our class system where lower middles are desperate to distance themselves from 'common' people. I spent my whole childhood having the word 'common' drummed into me - don't do this or that, it's common. Stupid things like - white shoes are common - what on earth?? I now revel in doing common things!! Most of the things I had drummed into me as a child were actually ridiculous. Maybe we are eating like Americans now, so what? I'm always a bit uncomfortable with the ease in which people sneer at and judge Americans, as if it's somehow ok. If you substituted the words black or Jewish or Muslim instead of American in these judgements it would sound very dodgy indeed. Like most people on here though I find it unpleasant when people are disgusting (spitters for example) but the way they hold their knife and fork is entirely up to them.

But the thread was about table manners not food wastage or the sin of eating flesh.

I do not think anyone was telling you that you should be vegan! Maud because of her personal opinion on veganism (a bit like everybody else expressing theirs about the use of a fork!) wished more people shared her view!

I wished I could be vegan as my head tells me that it is better now we consume so much. I agree that humans are omnivores but we eat far more meat than is probably good for us (internationally..not just GNers!) However I know I am unlikely to be even vegetarian! I do try to keep meat and other animal products to a minimum and eat my pulses with my upturned fork

Why should I become vegan? The human is an omnivore, I enjoy both meat and vegetables. Provided the animal has been treated well during their life and slaughtered humanely I have no problems. This thread is supposed to be about table manners not about vegan versus the rest of us.

It matters if the way you use your cutlery causes you to lift your elbows because that could affect the person sitting next to you. Perhaps it also matters if you need to feel confident in public? DS had a girlfriend who was starting a new job and knew that she would be eating out as part of the job, she was uncomfortable about that and asked us to show her the correct way to do things. Maybe no one thinks like that any more?

Why would someone come on here and tell another poster how to use language or how to spell? What kind of person would do that? I wonder how someone could reach the age of most of us and not learn how to be sensitive to others' feelings.