Gransnet forums

AIBU

To wear what I like for Christmas?

(172 Posts)
grapefruit Fri 23-Nov-18 16:38:44

I've just had a very odd conversation with my daughter. We were talking about Christmas and if we were going to have it hers or mine (looking like hers) and then she said something offhand like, 'Just please come dressed down this year mum, you make everyone uncomfortable with all your dressing up.' I think I just laughed and went to put the kettle on but I was so taken aback. And the more I think about it the more upset I feel. I do like to get dressed up for an occasion and especially Christmas. I always book to get my hair done a few days before, I put on a sparkly top or nice dress and make an effort and wear my nice jewellery because for me, it's a special occasion. And there aren't many opportunities to do that sort of thing so I reckon make the most of it. but now I feel quite odd about it all. For me it feels wrong to wear jeans for christmas (each to their own though of course, I understand everyone does things their own way and that's great). But I feel like I've now been prescribed a dress code and it's made me feel very blue and a bit cross.

Brunette10 Fri 23-Nov-18 16:58:28

Hi grapefruit, I am like you, Christmas Day for me and DH is a dress up day. Our DD fortunately feels the same so we all get dressed up. However the first year we spent with DD in-laws we were quite taken aback as they didn’t have the same thoughts of dressing up and turned up in jeans. DD and I were horrified as in our family going back to our parent’s days Christmas Day was always a special occasion which we dressed for. Nowadays though, like everything else it seems no-one seems to have that same sense of feeling about special days. For my part, if I were you I would dress the way you like, feel comfortable in and if anyone feels awkward let them, their problem not yours.😀🎄

MiniMoon Fri 23-Nov-18 17:01:16

I feel ok exactly the same grapefruit. I like to get dressed up for Christmas day. I make the dinner in my finery, making sure that I cover up with a big apron. It makes the day special.
If my DD said anything about dressing down, I'm afraid I would tell her that I'll do no such thing. It's my tradition and I'm keeping it.

FlexibleFriend Fri 23-Nov-18 17:02:43

I wouldn't say I get dressed up but I make an effort to look good and always wear something new but comfortable, I've never worn jeans etc on Christmas day.

Izabella Fri 23-Nov-18 17:03:13

Jeans here for us. There is no way I could roll around the floor with the children and enjoy the day fancied up. Besides I do not actually own a dress {grin}

Izabella Fri 23-Nov-18 17:03:50

grin Wrong brackets!!

M0nica Fri 23-Nov-18 17:07:15

It is your DD that has the problem, why does your dressing up make her feel uncomfortable? If you always dress up for Christmas she should be quite used to you doing it.

Christmas is Christmas, let everyone dress in what they feel most comfortable in.

Tartlet Fri 23-Nov-18 17:11:47

I think I might try to compromise and still get dressed up but perhaps not quite as dressed up as I might otherwise have done.

Having said that, I don’t really understand why your daughter would be bothered about you making a special effort on the day.

tanith Fri 23-Nov-18 17:15:02

Mostly we don’t dress up just wear a nice top or jumper but but one year we had a Onesie Christmas it was hilarious and everyone really had a great day.

Marthjolly1 Fri 23-Nov-18 17:18:28

I like to dress up. 2 DDs like to dress down in their most comfy very casual clothes. We all do our own thing and accept each other's preferences.

Teetime Fri 23-Nov-18 17:30:15

We dress up but also comfy...kick off our shoes etc.

KatyK Fri 23-Nov-18 17:38:17

Most people like to make an effort for Christmas.

Scribbles Fri 23-Nov-18 17:47:56

If your daughter is hosting the day at her house then maybe it would be courteous to fit in with her request? When it's your turn to have everyone round, then you can dress however you wish.

Greyduster Fri 23-Nov-18 18:07:14

I think you should be allowed to dress up if you like to. Horses for courses here. If it’s just DD and her menfolk and no extra guests, we are tidy casual. I like people to be comfortable and so does she. When we are invited to DS, there are usually members of DiL’s family and others present and it’s only good manners to scrub up well and ‘keep your end up’!

MissAdventure Fri 23-Nov-18 18:11:28

Wear a onesie.
There are some lovely ones, and you could still get your hair done and so on.
That way you've done what's asked, so your daughter will be happy.
You'll look great, make a point and will have dressed down too.

MawBroon Fri 23-Nov-18 18:11:54

Perhaps your DD feels that if she is slaving over a hot turkey etc sparkly would not be appropriate for her and so she feels she will look dressed down by comparison?
Funnily I was going to start a thread asking what everybody is wearing?
I have my eye on e very smart but pricey top but know that with my luck I would splash gravy on it.
How abou a sparkly top and black velvet jeans?

annodomini Fri 23-Nov-18 18:28:40

Wear what makes you feel special but tone it down a bit - maybe go easy on the jewellery?

rockgran Fri 23-Nov-18 19:12:14

Quote the poem -

"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple and a red hat that doesn't suit me........"

.....whilst wearing a ball gown and a tiara .....and carry a trug. grin

Mapleleaf Fri 23-Nov-18 19:24:39

Wear whatever you want to wear. 😁

BlueBelle Fri 23-Nov-18 19:27:30

I don’t buy anything special for Christmas just dress a step up from work but I m not a sparkly Jewellery person I like my earrings and as I don’t own a dress or skirt it will be something smart jeanslike but not denim
I did buy a Christmas jumper last year I ve never done that before so maybe I ll wear that again
Is your daughter having other people round maybe she wants you to blend in maybe you should have asked her and just said Why? when she suggested you weren’t to be too sparkly as really it’s not her business what you wear
I ve now got a picture in my head of everyone in jeans and jumpers and Barnara Cartland walking in That’s only a joke please don’t be offended
I guess if you do dinner next year you could ask everyone to dress up
Try not to get bogged down in letting it spoil your day with them though Dress as you want it’s your day as well as there’s
Just a thought could there be a surprise after lunch that needs non dressy clothes

Cherrytree59 Fri 23-Nov-18 19:33:09

Sorry to lower the tone
Christmas jumpers for us.
The traditional family xmas jumper photograph.

As another poster said
Can't be rolling around the floor with little grandchildren in my gladrags,

Saving my finery for seasonal dinners out or Hogmanay.

I would say Grapefruit continue to wear what makes you feel good and is appropriate for the occasion.🎅

EllanVannin Fri 23-Nov-18 19:34:02

Well I've never had my family pass remarks about the way I dress---------if it's something out of the ordinary they laugh and I laugh with them. I dress accordingly when I visit all the GGC even at Christmas----no beads etc as they get pulled and machine-washable clothes. More comfy.

Melanieeastanglia Fri 23-Nov-18 20:15:39

Wear what you want to wear. I don't think you should get offended by your daughter's remark.

etheltbags1 Fri 23-Nov-18 23:23:43

Jeans for me and maybe a new jumper or top but i dont ever dress up.

merlotgran Fri 23-Nov-18 23:43:45

When our kids were small we lived in a large farmhouse so always had a houseful of relatives at Christmas. Both mine and DH's parents liked to dress up so we used to ditch our jeans and make an effort.

I don't think there is one single group photo where I'm not still wearing an apron. grin