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Am I being lied to?

(105 Posts)
DewAtDawn Mon 26-Nov-18 01:47:09

My son's gf has opened a bank account at my elderly mother's address, without her knowledge. Neither of them live there but did stay there for a few days before moving abroad. She expected the debit card to arrive while they were there and no-one would have known anything about it. Fortunately it arrived when they had left.

I refused to forward the card and told her to close the account, she told me she couldn't close the account without first activating the debit card and would I post it to her. I didn't believe this so told her I had cut the card up and put it in the bin.

She is now asking me if she can re-order the card. Does anyone know if you need to have the debit card to close a bank account?

We don't know this girl very well but what we do know isn't good and there is a bit more background that I won't go into right now.

janeainsworth Mon 26-Nov-18 05:03:51

My gut reaction is that your mother should advise the bank that the g/f doesn’t live at her address and she didn’t give permission for her address to be used.

BlueBelle Mon 26-Nov-18 05:31:09

Exactly what Jane says don’t deal with the girlfriend deal with the bank direct

mcem Mon 26-Nov-18 06:38:14

Before opening a bank account she'd need proof of her address. Simply saying she lived there shouldn't have been enough without that proof.
If everything was above board gf could have asked for a note from your mother confirming her own address and that she was living there temporarily.
I'd contact the bank directly and point out that no permission was given to use the address.
Also ask why they accepted this as adequate and that the account should be cancelled.

Liz46 Mon 26-Nov-18 07:20:08

Having worked in a bank I totally agree that the best thing is to take the card to the bank. Your mother should take proof that she lives at the address and if she has something like a letter about her council tax, showing the 25% deduction for living alone, that would be good.

Framilode Mon 26-Nov-18 07:55:29

When we lived abroad we used our daughter's address (with her knowledge) to keep our UK bank account. You need a UK address to keep the account.

EllanVannin Mon 26-Nov-18 08:09:51

All that I know is what Liz46 has said. To produce a utility bill as proof that you live at said address,otherwise forget it.

dragonfly46 Mon 26-Nov-18 08:11:40

Yes the bank would have required proof of address e.g. utility bill, council tax etc. I wonder how she provided that. Surely if it was above board she would have asked your mother first if it was okay.
I would contact the bank.
When we moved abroad we transferred our current account to Jersey.

Nonnie Mon 26-Nov-18 09:07:52

There must be more to this because, as others have said, she couldn't have opened the account without proof of address.

May I also point out that opening someone else's post is a crime. Surely the sensible thing to do would have been to write 'Not at this address' and put it back in the post?

DewAtDawn Mon 26-Nov-18 09:21:57

Thank you for your replies, as far as I am aware, no proof of address was required. My husband opened one of these type of accounts a few months ago and didn't need to provide proof either. It's a mobile/internet banking company so no branches to take the card to but I will email them.

Buffybee Mon 26-Nov-18 09:34:29

Why don't you ask her why she needs a bank account at your Dm address. As someone above stated, she may have needed to transfer her address to keep her bank account active.
Also, due to Data Protection, I doubt the bank will be able to discuss another person's bank account with you.
Apart from her not asking permission from you Dm, I can't see how you think that there would be any repercussions to your Dm
by having the girls account address there.

newnanny Mon 26-Nov-18 09:44:00

This sounds dodgy. Ring bank and tell them girl does not live there and was only staying on very temporary basis and will not be returning. Do not send card to girl. Take it in to bank and tell them you do not want mothers address absued like this.

00mam00 Mon 26-Nov-18 09:44:43

Surely If she doesn’t pay her bills, your DM’s address will get a bad credit rating which could cause all sorts of problems.

Buffybee Mon 26-Nov-18 09:48:37

The "address" does not get a bad credit rating.
The person who is responsible for the debt will get a bad credit rating.

CarlyD7 Mon 26-Nov-18 09:50:52

Re opening the post - you can always say that your elderly mother opened it by mistake (I used to open my mother's post - at her request, as her eyesight was starting to deteriorate). I would take the bank card back to the bank (or at least ring them up) and let them know. I don't understand how she got away with this - presumably, whilst she was staying with your Mum, she got some post at that address, and that's what she's used as proof? If all was above board, she would have asked your Mum (are you sure she didn't and your Mum has forgotten? Did she admit that she hadn't?) it's really important that any debts she accumulates doesn't have links with your Mum's address - which could affect her finances at a later date.

jenni123 Mon 26-Nov-18 09:55:35

i lived abroad for 13 years and had a UK bank account all the time. I was allowed to use my daughters address for correspondence and when a new card was due to be issued it would be sent to my daughter and I would collect when I came on holiday.

DewAtDawn Mon 26-Nov-18 09:56:35

Thanks Buffy, she hasn't transfered her usual bank account to my mother's address (that we know of) still uses that to have her salary paid into. This is a new account she has opened so she isn't trying to keep her main account active by doing this.

I don't think there will be any personal repercussions to my DM but the new account comes with an automatic overdraft and loan facility and I don't know if she was planning to run up debts at DMs address.

DewAtDawn Mon 26-Nov-18 09:57:57

Carly she has admitted that she didn't ask DM.

holdingontometeeth Mon 26-Nov-18 09:59:07

Further to what 00mam00 says, I suggest you contact the Credit Reference agencies, Experian etc and have a note attached to your mothers file explaining that the girl doesn't live there and that the address should not be considered in anyway should she attempt to use it.
The address does get blacklisted, making it more difficult for anyone who is credit worthy using that address to obtain credit.

LauraMeredith Mon 26-Nov-18 10:05:01

There is absolutely no need to have a UK bank account at a UK address so far as I know. I have lived abroad for many years and my UK account is always linked to my current address......wherever that may be. I have had no problems with that.

So far as the bank card is concerned DewatDawn, I would speak with the bank and return the card to them as the bank card remains the property of the bank as I understand it.

dragonfly46 Mon 26-Nov-18 10:06:40

Definitely the address does not get blacklisted. A boyfriend of my DD moved in and when he left she had numerous credit agencies ringing up and threatening to send the bailiffs because he owed thousands of pounds in pay day loans. She just rang these companies and said he was the lodger and she didn't have a forwarding address. Eventually they stopped calling but it took about a year for them to accept it. They on no occasion sent the bailiffs round but I can imagine if this were to happen it would be very upsetting for your mother as she would have to prove that the girl no longer lived there. It sounds odd that she has opened another account with an overdraft while she is abroad.

blueskies Mon 26-Nov-18 10:07:07

A neighbour used my address without my knowledge and then took my identity to open accounts in my name. I found out by accident and the police took it very seriously. Identity theft is a chargeable offence.

Luckygirl Mon 26-Nov-18 10:07:07

What a little rascal! So unacceptable to do this without your mother's knowledge. Does your son know about this? - what does he have to say?

Izabella Mon 26-Nov-18 10:07:26

The address DOES matter as it will come up on any credit score or criminal activity as a 'linked address' and will also affect the credit rating of the occupants. You need to ask why an elderly lady being targetted for this

Izabella Mon 26-Nov-18 10:13:34

*DewatDawn& i have pm'd you