All I want for Christmas??

I k ow &teetine*, morethan and mabon, have the most awful times going on for them but the problems others are facing can't be discounted either - they could just be the final straw.

It's not a competition and I think everyone deserves kindness!

Teatime. Thoughts with you. You truly do have something to worry about. The rest of us should count our blessings.

Bellanonna
Wise words indeed. Everyone has stuff going on in their lives but as you rightly said, we need lighter threads to keep us smiling.

So sorry to read about your predicament teatime, death is never easy, if they go suddenly they leave their loved ones shocked and wishing they had had time to say all the things they didn’t get to say. But then if it’s a long drawn out illness, we wish it would end so our loved ones can be in peace! I hope your son in law gets his peace sooner rather than later.

As for the OP, I think this time of year kind of magnifies any problems our family are already having. We see everywhere in the media, how wonderful Xmas is, how all the family come together and have the best time ever, everyone gets the presents they want and the table is heaving with beautifully cooked food. But the reality is usually a lot different. Try and just enjoy your day alone with your hubby and watch whatever you fancy on tv, have a tipple and eat some of your favourite food xx

Virtual flowers and hugs for Teetime and pastel. Mabon I think you need some too. Don’t be too harsh on people starting lighthearted threads. Gransnet needs a mixture of subjects and this one was fine. I’m genuinely so sorry for the worrying time you’re having.

To you all you are having a horrid time ?There are no words . I lost my sister last year near Xmas it was a release for her she had been ill a long time I took comfort from this .

I’ve e told my adult children. I never expect them to see me on Christmas Day. Especially as one of them is In their new home. It takes the pressure off everybody and if they come to me. It’s a bonus, chill and makes some special plans for yourselves

I am yet again having to spend it with family. I so want a peaceful day on my own. All I get is you can't spend Christmas on your own. I don't see it as any other day that I am on my own....hahaha. Enjoy your day and try not to worry. They will all get through their problems. Enjoy your day.

Missfoodlove....I had the same experiences as you over the years. Pressure from mum to 'celebrate' exactly as she wanted. I have told my adult kids that I will never put that sort of pressure on them. If one is not religious, then 25 December is just a date on the calendar.
Enjoy each day in your own way.

any and

While it's very sad that some GNers are going through a traumatic time so near to a period of celebration for many, to berate others for posting 'trivia' is rather silly. Are we, who are not beset by worries, not allowed to be happy and frivolous in our remarks, or do we have to be sober and wear a mantle others wish to see us wear.
Whilst I commiserate with those going through difficulties of anyvand all kinds, it doesn't and shouldn't impinge on my outlook and excitement at the coming Christmas festivities.

My best wishes and hugs too for those who have sad family situations around Christmas this year.

Some years I was not able to be with husband and then not with children either and one year I helped at Crisis and really enjoyed it. I met very nice people, the other helpers and also the clients. I was also a hospital radio dj for some years and did a radio programme over the Christmas season. I felt if I was not having a wonderful family time I might as well help make other people's Christmas better.

Never worry worry, till worry worries you.
Let them all get on with it. You fed clothed and nurtured them, saw them through education and into their adult years. You can't baby them forever and you can bet your bottom dollar that they're not thinking about or worrying about you.
If they're savvy, they won't make the same mistakes twice and will live life their way. If they stumble, let them pick themselves up. You worrying is not resolving anything...is it? Be realistic. Pay attention to yourself, your OH and indulge yourselves. Have fun and let them sort their own lives out.

Thoughts and Hugs to anyone who is having a hard time and especially at this time of year.

OP as others have said worrying about our AC goes with the territory of being a parent and it is harder and more impactful at certain times of year, Christmas being one of those times.

Teetime wishing you and your family peace at this sad.

Also peace and kindness to anyone in a painful situations.

There are so many people with so many difficult life situations that trying to just get through the day is hard enough without the big Christmas fuss and expectations everywhere we turn.

Not having the Christmas or Christmases as we once had is a reality for lots of people and the best we can do is be kind to ourselves and those around us and get through the days.

It's A Day. It's a day and it has whatever meaning we choose to give it.

Sometimes it is hard when we have to change the value, meaning, significants we place on "The Day" harder still when those changes are not of our choice or in our control.

Many of those changes, be they in family relationships, bereavement, estrangement, hurt.

Dealing with hurt when expectations around Christmas are so high just puts us under more pressure.

I really, really do feel for anyone who has lost or os facing the loss of a loved one at this time of year because the pressure to be Jolly and Festive just makes things harder.

May all those who need a kind word, wise advice or support find what they need be it here on GN or among friends and family. Take Care all.

Dear Teetime?? my thoughts are with you & your family my husband & I had the same issue my Father-in-law passed in his sleep 1 week today, it’s really hard arranging his funeral when all the shops are covered merry & bright! I’m not a bah hum bug person but My husband & I are spending a very quiet & reflective time this Xmas after the last 2 years of caring of elderly parents , god bless you all ?

Teetime, wishing you and your family a peaceful Christmas. And for all grans, I wish you the Christmas you wish for yourselves whether full of GC and fun or quiet and reflective by yourself or with a partner. I'll be with the family and hope to see most of the GC.

Dear fil died after long illness Boxing day 1969. DF suddenly 27th Dec 1970. While our daughters were little we put on a good show - not that it was a show - we enjoyed every minute!But now that we are 20 years older than each of them when they died, we prefer Christmas Day quietly on our own --- then Boxing day at one or other of their houses all hell breaks loose!
teetime so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers

Tee time, my thoughts and prayers are with your dear family at this sad time xx

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and pastel my thoughts are with you.

Or lovely son in law has now been taken off all interventions and has been made comfortable by some wonderful doctors and nurses in Ipswich Hospital. Our daughter and his children are with him.

Teetime’s situation puts everything into perspective for me - no more fussing about who is included and who isn’t for me this year.

mabon, sending you (((hugs))).

OP I live 300+ miles from two of my children and, in the past, when they're having a difficult time I've felt stressed and worried. It's made worse by the one who lives here getting steamed up because the others are worrying me! Lately, I've tried to convince myself that I can't help from this distance (other than moral or financial support) so worrying is futile. It doesn't change anything.

I should've just said, worrying is futile. It doesn't help anyone. Give yourself a break and look forward to a nice quiet Christmas. You never know. Things might change for the better.?

I feel the same ... except my interest in Christmas is much reduced this year as I lost my Mum in June. She loved Christmas and all the fun has gone from it now. I've no longer got her to talk it over woth and laugh with .
So , the 4 children, in laws and DGC are rocking up over Christmas... at various times.
We've told time we will feed the masses and change bedding but have asked them to discuss arrangements about who comes when between themselves . Heck , the 4 kids range from 36 to 26. 2 even share a flat. You'd think they could talk to each other without using me ( Mum ) as a hub and director of operations .
Seems not though. I'm still getting questions.... and don't get me started on the " What shall I get for ..... " .
I am struggling to buy my own presents for everyone , never mind help them out. I guess old habits die hard and , maybe , I will feel better and back on the ball !

teetime
Sending you love & strength at such a difficult time ???

I want my daughter in law to have her last Christmas pain free and in peace with her husband and 10 year old son around her. Some of the people who post on this site need to get off their backsides and stop moaning about trivia.