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All I want for Christmas??

(108 Posts)
3211123rjc Tue 04-Dec-18 13:28:47

The answer to myself is...some peace from what to do at Christmas. Each year I spend about a week of my life trying to second guess what is happening with the family, who is going where? Will we get to know anytime soon. I give up and then ask the question and get my head bitten off for asking too soon, as they are so busy they haven't given Christmas a thought. My thought is Christmas is no surprise, its the same date every year!! This year we are getting to have Christmas by ourselves, not by our choice, daughter having a crisis with work pressures and missed deadlines and just wants some space, depression has set in and wouldn't be much fun! Son is abroad, has just lost his job and can't afford airfare. Another son who is chef, hates Christmas. So, I am truly fed up, not with having Christmas to ourselves, but with worrying about the family. Can I move Christmas to another date please.

silverlining48 Tue 04-Dec-18 14:05:18

Children hey? Some Of what you say resounds with me, my dd is always stressed.
Enjoy your Christmas, and if you and your dh are on your own relish the peace and quiet and if you are surprised by the company of your children then .....hide behind the sofa tchgrin

3211123rjc Tue 04-Dec-18 14:12:33

Thanks for the suggestion silverlining, Sofa being pulled out from wall nowwink

silverlining48 Tue 04-Dec-18 14:16:05


Teetime Tue 04-Dec-18 14:23:42

All I want is for my son in law to have a peaceful death within the next few days(week) and for my daughter to find some peace and rest so she can morn her husband.

KatyK Tue 04-Dec-18 14:26:27

Teetime flowers

oldbatty Tue 04-Dec-18 14:31:35

Teetime, so very sad and a reminder of what is actually important and it sure as hell isn't matching crockery and prosecco advent calendars.

tanith Tue 04-Dec-18 14:48:50

Teetime flowers

sodapop Tue 04-Dec-18 15:34:12

Oh Teetime I'm so sorry for you and your family its heart breaking. I have been in that situation and know how you feel. God bless all of you thanks

DanniRae Tue 04-Dec-18 16:00:46

My love to you Teetime and some flowers x

Mapleleaf Tue 04-Dec-18 16:52:36

? Teetime.

EllanVannin Tue 04-Dec-18 17:28:56

It's the worst time of the year when you have someone in the family who's very sick, nothing else matters. All my sympathy and thoughts are with you all at this very trying and sad time x

Mycatisahacker Tue 04-Dec-18 19:27:09

Teetime just flowers and hugs.

Op hard as it is you can’t be responsible for adult children’s happiness. I have 5 adult kids wink and you can guarantee at any one time one of them is more needy than other ones and which one is a movable feast.

You know what we do? We say everyone welcome at ours and let us know by the 23rd for shopping.

And me and dh go to the local for lunch time drinks. We do a Christmas buffet, no big bloody turkey.

Lots of wine and Games.

Come if you want or suit yourselves we are happy either way. No pressure.

If you relax they will too

kazzerb Tue 04-Dec-18 19:41:55

For the first time in 34 years, I will not be spending Christmas day with my two children. My Daughter and I are estranged through the lies of a friend of hers and my Son is spending the day with his Son, aged one, his partner and her family. My Husband and I have splashed out on Christmas dinner, with champagne on arrival, at a lovely country pub. It's expensive but worth it. We will get together with some family over the festive season but I can honestly say, I'm looking forward to our day together.

Missfoodlove Tue 04-Dec-18 20:10:24

Every Christmas for 35 years I have had to accommodate parents/in-laws, this year is the first we do not have to comply with my domineering mother as she is in a home and my in laws are sadly no longer with us.
Quite frankly every Christmas has been a nightmare pussy footing around my mother trying not to say the or do wrong thing.
As Dec 25th has been a chore we decided to concentrate on any family get togethers and make them special so the focus was taken off the one day of the year that seems to cause so much stress.
I have told my 3 adult children they must please themselves at Christmas and not try to please everybody else as I’ve had to do for years.

Jalima1108 Tue 04-Dec-18 20:11:54

Teetime so sorry to hear that flowers I do hope that his end is peaceful and your daughter can begin to grieve.

GillT57 Tue 04-Dec-18 20:21:50

teetime. So sorry. X

lemongrove Tue 04-Dec-18 20:48:02

Teetime....hope that your SIL does have a merciful release very soon for the sake of all your family.?

To the OP and anyone else tearing their hair out over Christmas arrangements, stop! Just say if asked about Christmas ( let them ask you ) you are all welcome, just let me know in time, for shopping purposes.
We do this every year, sometimes ( rarely) they all come, sometimes just one family, and sometimes we see them on different days Ch Eve, Ch Day and Boxing Day.
I refuse to get stressed about any of it, but if in danger of that happening then the Baileys comes out.grin

grannyactivist Tue 04-Dec-18 23:13:26

Teetime flowers
The waiting period can be a blessing in some respects (being able to say 'goodbye'), but also can be a very painful time. I expect you're feeling it most keenly because you're dealing with your own feelings whilst carrying the burden of a mother's pain for her child. What courage we must sometimes find! (((hug)))

Cherrytree59 Wed 05-Dec-18 01:38:42

My thoughts are with you and your family.
I wish you courage and strength xxx

morethan2 Wed 05-Dec-18 06:49:46

I’m so sorry Teatime Christmas can be difficult, but must be especially difficult for you and your family.
I would like my very ill dil and my son to enjoy what may be their last Christmas together, alas I don’t think that’s going to be the case. So I hope they muddle through as best they can with no disasters.

Applegran Wed 05-Dec-18 09:49:35

Teetime I am sending you love, and wishing for peace for your daughter and son in law. You remind us what matters.

gillybob Wed 05-Dec-18 09:50:43

I was going to write that I wish Christmas would go away for a few months and then I read Teetimes post about her son in law being so poorly. When everyone is fussing about Christmas shopping etc. It must be very hard to bear. Puts things into prospective though . sad

vintage1950 Wed 05-Dec-18 09:58:01

Sympathy to Teetime and morethan2. My own son-in-law was very ill a few years ago - fortunately recovered but things were looking very black for a while and we did all we could - which I don't think was enough - to support our daughter and grandchild. All the cheeriness of Christmas must make things feel much worse. Lots of love. flowersflowers

Marthjolly1 Wed 05-Dec-18 10:16:34

teetime and morethan I am so sorry for the sadness in your life and wish you and your families peace and comfort.
3211123 you have taken on the worries of all your children- it's what we mum's do. Christmas is just one day, hopefully you can have a family get together sometime in the new year when everyone will be more relaxed and really able to enjoy the day. For now just chill out and expect nothing - I've learnt that is the best way of avoiding the disappointment of not being able to make everyone's Christmas perfect
It just doesn't happen.