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All I want for Christmas??

(109 Posts)
3211123rjc Tue 04-Dec-18 13:28:47

The answer to myself is...some peace from what to do at Christmas. Each year I spend about a week of my life trying to second guess what is happening with the family, who is going where? Will we get to know anytime soon. I give up and then ask the question and get my head bitten off for asking too soon, as they are so busy they haven't given Christmas a thought. My thought is Christmas is no surprise, its the same date every year!! This year we are getting to have Christmas by ourselves, not by our choice, daughter having a crisis with work pressures and missed deadlines and just wants some space, depression has set in and wouldn't be much fun! Son is abroad, has just lost his job and can't afford airfare. Another son who is chef, hates Christmas. So, I am truly fed up, not with having Christmas to ourselves, but with worrying about the family. Can I move Christmas to another date please.

Tooglamtogiveadamn Sun 16-Dec-18 13:41:14

Oh My God! Wrong thread. Sorrytchblush although the last bit applies to you too!

Tooglamtogiveadamn Sun 16-Dec-18 13:36:49

What about pampering yourself, with a bath bomb from lush (I would recommend intergalactic), a bath, a face mask, a glass of wine, and doing your nails and watching Christmas movies? Whatever you decide to do, enjoy it. Have a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy new year! Best wishestchsmile

MagicWriter2016 Fri 07-Dec-18 21:16:04

So sorry to read about your predicament teatime, death is never easy, if they go suddenly they leave their loved ones shocked and wishing they had had time to say all the things they didn’t get to say. But then if it’s a long drawn out illness, we wish it would end so our loved ones can be in peace! I hope your son in law gets his peace sooner rather than later.

As for the OP, I think this time of year kind of magnifies any problems our family are already having. We see everywhere in the media, how wonderful Xmas is, how all the family come together and have the best time ever, everyone gets the presents they want and the table is

NanKate Fri 07-Dec-18 08:06:34

Jacq Teetime how dreadfully sad your news is. 💐💐

WkdV Thu 06-Dec-18 16:46:07

To teetime and morethan2 you are in our thoughts at this difficult time in your lives and hope you find the strength you need to face the future

PECS Thu 06-Dec-18 14:36:15

No such thing as a perfect Christmas! More and more we are sold images of happy families, perfect meals, super decorated homes and trees etc etc. But it is all a marketing ploy!

My DD and her girls (maybe her ex who still shares the house!) will be with us ..we will have a good enough Christmas!

moggie57 Thu 06-Dec-18 12:23:03

just be yourself .please yourself .spend time with d ,she needs you and some peace and quiet. cook or have a prepared dinner ,go for a walk with d afterwards.have yourself some me time with her. after all christmas is just another day to some people..if its all hustle and bustle say no thanks . having a "me and daughter christmas this year".....maybe have.... family on boxing day...

OurKid1 Thu 06-Dec-18 11:47:38

Teetime and Jacq10 Condolences to you both. flowers flowers

I am so glad I read this thread - I was fretting a bit that my son and his family will 'only' be spending Christmas lunchtime with us, before heading off to the in-laws. I now realise how trivial such worries are.

3211123 I don't think you need to apologise - our problems are our problems however unimportant they may be in the scheme of things and you couldn't have known what was happening to others (nor did I when was fretting at my son's Christmas plans). I think starting this thread has benefitted all of us and made us realise what is really important - I guess we knew anyway being Gransnetters ... just maybe needed a bit of a reminder. I did.

EllanVannin Thu 06-Dec-18 11:43:03

This is so very sad.

3211123rjc Thu 06-Dec-18 11:09:25

To TeeTime, Im so sorry to hear of your loss, nothing that can be said will take the pain away.

My husband lost his daughter to suicide about 6 years ago now, when she was 39 and left 3 children behind, with no father either, and he gets up every morning, puts one foot in front of the other and gets through his day, but still has a tear at certain times of year, hasn't forgotten but pain is just a little duller now.

To the rest of Gransnetters, sorry my trivia has niggled some, not my intention, having worked in a 3 9's service for 27 years, I am only too aware that there are others with bigger problems and not just at this time of year either. However, to be able to have just a little laugh is not a sin, even when your whole world is crashing at your feet. Merry Christmas

ditzyme Thu 06-Dec-18 09:58:22

Moving dates wouldn't make any difference, all those women who feel stressful would still feel stressful, though it might be better in warmer weather I suppose!

sluttygran Thu 06-Dec-18 08:22:36

So sorry for your troubles. I hope this grief soon passes for you and your daughter. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be. thanks

In reply to our OP, I used to have problems every Christmas with who was going where, and when, and with whom, so I’ve backed out of it.
I get in some supplies, and make it known that whoever wishes to visit is welcome.
If they can’t manage it, I look forward to seeing them when they have time.
It’s worked very well, no conflict, and the whole family usually manage to visit at some stage over the festive season.
There are four small grandchildren who clamour to see Nana, because they know there are treats in store - kids, eh? grin
This year I’ve been invited for Xmas lunch at my DD’s home, which is a step forward as she has severe OCD. and rarely manages visitors in her home.
I know it sounds silly, but this is a ray of hope to me after watching her suffer this debilitating mental disorder for so many years.

Anyway, whatever your arrangements, your joys or sorrows, I hope you all have a peaceful Christmas and a New Year full of happy days.

Bathsheba Thu 06-Dec-18 07:16:47

Teetime and jacq I'm so sorry for your losses, they must be so very hard to deal with when all around you people are being jolly and festive. My heart goes out to you both, and to Pastel and morethan and others who are going through such difficult times. (((hugs))) and flowers for you all.

Gingergirl Thu 06-Dec-18 07:13:34

All our problems are relative but important none the less. Christmas is a horrible time when you’re worrying about the family and can’t do anything to help. I’ve concluded that the only thing you can do is to distract yourself so arrange to do some nice things around the festive may not feel much like it but it’s better than just sitting fretting. And if it all falls flat on Christmas Day because you’re just at home without them, remember it’s only a day...and start to make some plans for the next day...and week...and the new year...hoping things will improve for everyone. It just rolls like this sometimes.....

Pythagorus Thu 06-Dec-18 07:07:40

What I would like to do is fast forward the last week in December! Failing that, just turn up,the heating, fill the fridge with lovely food, put the télé on, have Xmas day in my pjs and please myself! Lol! It’s not going to happen ......... I will be going out to a nice hotel with friends for lunch and the. On Boxing Day, I am in charge of charades and games! Another day with friends ........ but before the. I have to do cards, wrap presents ....... all the usual malarkey! Hey ho, it will soon be the January sales!

crazyH Thu 06-Dec-18 00:39:08

Jacqui and Teetine, so sorry 💐💐
Since my divorce, I hate Christmases.....I go with the flow for the sake of the little ones. My ex lives with his new wife in our town...we all live near each other and so the family dynamics are getting too much especially around this time. On top of that, my older son is in a right royal mood over something I said in the summer.....he is so full of angst. I feel like hiding from everyone from Xmas eve to Boxing Day - Sheer bliss if I could do it.

harrigran Wed 05-Dec-18 23:43:47

jacq10 So sorry for your loss flowers

harrigran Wed 05-Dec-18 23:40:33

Teetime my condolences on the loss of your lovely son in law flowers

lilypollen Wed 05-Dec-18 22:04:34

OP. I totally sympathise. Eldest broke up with girlfriend earlier this year, not his fault so doesn't want to know, says he's going abroad (even though he adores his niece/nephew) Youngest juggles emotions but ends up going with DIL to her parents for Xmas lunch, though coming here later. DH and I will be at the family seat for lunch. I think down to the pub but that will be bittersweet as we don't have our loyal 4 legged friend now.

KatyK Wed 05-Dec-18 20:58:57

Jacq flowers

KatyK Wed 05-Dec-18 20:46:16

So sorry teetime

Grandmashe43 Wed 05-Dec-18 20:46:10

Condolences to Teetime and Jaqui, such a sad time for you and your dear families x

morethan2 Wed 05-Dec-18 20:25:11

Condolences to you and your family Teetime

janeainsworth Wed 05-Dec-18 20:05:55

My condolences too, to you both teetime and jacq10.

glammagran Wed 05-Dec-18 19:29:35

Deeply sorry for you family’s loss teetime. And to everyone else with family illness to contend with. 💐