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AIBU

Reply to my post on Facebook

(69 Posts)
Alexa Tue 04-Dec-18 16:12:27

I had replied to an interesting humorous but meaningful Facebook post from my adult grandson, who has studied philosophy at university . In my reply I commented on the philosophical meaning which interested me.

This morning my son , his father, responded that it was supposed to be a light- hearted post. And I felt snubbed. I wonder if my son feels the young man needs to be defended or something.

Sorry if this sounds really trivial but I really do feel son has snubbed me on a public Facebook page.

NemosMum Wed 05-Dec-18 11:11:32

Think very hard about what you say on FB! I (try to) restrict my contributions to 'liking' friends' photos of gardens/pets/babies/pretty landscapes, and my posts are on similar topics. It's lovely to see photos of friends and family, and I'm happy to keep in touch that way, but it's no medium for debate! In future, Alexa, if you have an interesting point to make about a post, it might be better to send a private message. There is always the suspicion that the third party (your son) is fighting another battle with you under this guise. I wouldn't pursue it if I were you. See if he says anything else, but for goodness sake, don't carry on family business in public.

grannytotwins Wed 05-Dec-18 11:17:03

Delete the comment and ask your son why he felt it necessary to contact you about it. I know I would be very upset if it were me and would go over and over it in my head until I understood what had caused the upset.

lizzypopbottle Wed 05-Dec-18 11:19:52

Alexa I hope you can get over your hurt feelings quickly. Text has no intonation or facial expression so can often come across as cold and critical when that's not meant.

On a sort of similar theme, I commented on an ideal home post that showed a Christmas living room with stockings, tree and presents all really close to a roaring fire. I suggested it was a dangerous scenario. Back came the replies along the lines of, 'It's only a photo, lighten up!' etc. My response was Monkey see, monkey do! Perhaps I am too serious and analytical.....but that's me and I'll still comment 😀

ReadyMeals Wed 05-Dec-18 11:25:11

Ah yes delete the comment was good advice from GrannyToTwins. If your son's reply was connected under your comment, then it will delete yours and his reply, which will even things up.

janeainsworth Wed 05-Dec-18 11:26:10

Lizzy I once made the mistake of commenting on a ScaryMommy post 😱
My comment was very mild but I was quickly shot down in flames grin

notentirelyallhere Wed 05-Dec-18 11:29:25

Facebook is such a nightmare, it's so easy for something to be taken the wrong way. Probably the comment about something being intended to be light hearted was said jokingly but of course, how would one know?!

I can be quite a serious person and I can imagine responding to the philosophical side of a post with interest. However, it seems to me nowadays that everything has to be light hearted and delivered in just a few words or even syllables or the dreaded emoticons. No one thinks anymore, grumble, grumble. I'd forget about it, OP, or reply in kind if you can be bothered!

susieq3 Wed 05-Dec-18 11:30:41

Alexa, this is the sort of thing my son would. It is thoughtless and hurtful. Let it drop or you may find it goes on and on.

Reevangel Wed 05-Dec-18 11:33:25

I've learnt my lesson with my daughters generation on FB, I use messenger if I want to comment on something. Normally they don't like long comments. I would ask your grandson if your comment was ok?
There's a whole lot of nuanced etiquette that needs to be explained to us older generation. Your son is being an idiot.
Talk to your grandson.

Minerva Wed 05-Dec-18 11:33:59

I wonder how many youngsters have grandparents as Facebook Friends. I’m on Facebook because I admin a health group and also keep an eye on one of my offspring abroad which was her idea. I can connect too with relatives my own age living at some distance and living more interesting lives than mine.

Two of my three adult children opted out of FB years ago. I would love to be linked to one Daughter in law who didn’t opt out, so that I could see some of the beautiful photos she puts up but I wouldn’t want to embarrass her by inviting myself.

I absolutely wouldn’t dream of inviting myself on to my grandchildren’s FB however much I adore them and would be curious to see what they say to friends. It would feel like snooping. They would have to say yes but I can’t believe it would be what they want.

Mycatisahacker Wed 05-Dec-18 12:02:48

I agree with ^chew* as I said upthread I would ring my son and ask him what he meant. We don’t do sweep under the carpet In our family. That festers.

Golightly Wed 05-Dec-18 12:05:51

I hate the way people sometimes use public Facebook timelines for personal statements/messages; I have a DiL who does this and it has caused huge problems in our family. I now never make a personal comment and find grandchildren do not always appreciate us oldies commenting so only do so if it is something nice to them. I will do a like if I find something amusing.
Use private messaging if you can't phone or see them personally.

Mycatisahacker Wed 05-Dec-18 12:07:34

Minerva

Honestly I wouldn’t worry as the youngsters keep FB for oldies like us to communicate with them but they use Instagram to communicate with their friends.

MagicWriter2016 Wed 05-Dec-18 12:14:23

I am very wary of commenting on any social media platform now as my grand daughter isn’t ‘acknowledging ‘ me at all now over something really stupid. We had a group chat going on and her, her mum and her aunts were all drinking at the time. She is 19, but she is one of these people who takes everything you say literally. Anyway, she was going on about loving her mum and I jokingly said ‘if you carry on creeping like tha5 you will get carpet burns on your legs’ or some such nonsense. Everyone else on the group chat thought it was funny as they knew I was joking apart from her. She swiftly left the group and has ignored me ever since! I have now stopped ‘following ‘ her posts as it does get hurtful sometimes, but I still ask after her when talking to her mum and will carry on sending her Xmas and birthday cards and pressies. One day she might realise she has taken it way over the top, but have told her mum, am not contacting them Xmas day as they will all be drinking and I might get in trouble again! We live in Spain now.

Like someone else has said, folk are so touchy nowadays about everything, what happened to a sense of humour!

Cathy21 Wed 05-Dec-18 12:47:54

I have been in hospital for 33 days and its a Godsend to me. I follow groups like “Wallasey Memories” and exchanging old memories of Wallasey where I lived as a child is a lovely time filler.

janeainsworth Wed 05-Dec-18 13:14:11

Cathy I renewed a childhood friendship through a local group. We hadn’t seen each other for nearly 60 years.
Facebook is great if used with consideration for others.
I hope you are on the mend soonflowers

GabriellaG Wed 05-Dec-18 13:29:24

Three words...GET A LIFE

Jalima1108 Wed 05-Dec-18 13:54:02

Facebook is great if used with consideration for others.
Definitely - it depends how you and others use it.

Especially if family are far away.

suttonJ Wed 05-Dec-18 14:15:04

Well said Gabriella. FB is not worth it. Wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

yggdrasil Wed 05-Dec-18 15:44:20

I don't see many mindnumbing photos or peoples food or cocktails, but then my friends don't do that. (OK there are a couple who overdose on cats).
Maybe you should prune your friends list? :-)

fluttERBY123 Wed 05-Dec-18 15:54:52

They might have taken it that you were trying to be seen as more clever that your grandson and putting him down in some way.

People can get hurt or offended in a discussion or debate but that's the whole point of them, to make us see the other side of an argument. If that is stopped, as in de-platforming people, we are doomed.

harrysgran Wed 05-Dec-18 17:20:21

If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen people join in on a conversation then get upset if they don like a comment

Saggi Wed 05-Dec-18 17:44:08

Stay awake from bloody Facebook...it’s toxic!!

Saggi Wed 05-Dec-18 17:44:31

‘away from’

Daisyboots Wed 05-Dec-18 18:05:43

I know how hurtful some people can be in their replies especially when they are trying to put you down or trying to make the themselves look bigger. Now I use the emojis and either use the sad (crying one) or the laughing one against their posts if they are trying to make me or others look small.

annep Wed 05-Dec-18 18:14:39

I wouldn't be friends on fb with grandchildren. But if you're going to use fb you need to develop a thick skin. or restrict activity.