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Way of the world

(16 Posts)
supernan1 Fri 08-Feb-19 23:22:48

When commenting on the fact that after giving alot of my time to help someone I commented that the person I helped never said thankyou I was told it is the way of the world now I am just bemused. Is it really so difficult to utter the words. Is it truly the way of the world. That makes me sad if true

MissAdventure Fri 08-Feb-19 23:25:37

I think, in general, the world has changed in some ways which aren't for the better, but I have faith that most people are kind at heart, even if their manners are a bit amiss.

RosieLeah Sat 09-Feb-19 06:54:20

It is a sad fact that good manners and courtesy are on the decline. It is also true that some people think they don't need to say 'thank-you', that being helped is their due. Learn from it, supernan, and don't be so obliging in future, unless you know your help will be appreciated. It's also true that people are very quick to take advantage of someone's good nature. Once you start doing things for others, there's no end to it.

Carolina55 Sat 09-Feb-19 07:22:25

How sad Supernan1 that this person didn’t acknowledge this - was she unwell at the time or was it some time ago when you helped her out? Sometimes it takes some people a while to get round to stuff they ought to do and hopefully this person will make an extra effort on your birthday. I know kindness is its own reward but a simple thank you goes for miles with me.

Anja Sat 09-Feb-19 07:26:50

It isn’t the ‘way of the world’ supernan as most people do say thank you in one way or another.

Sometimes people try to put you down by suggesting you are needy if you expect a thanks. Not so. You, yourself, and most of us on here would say ‘thank you’.

dragonfly46 Sat 09-Feb-19 07:33:49

No it is not the way of the world although my DD thinks that some in her generation have a sense of entitlement!

annep1 Sat 09-Feb-19 08:04:13

The majority of people I know always say thank you. You don't do things for thanks but it's nice to know its appreciated.

sodapop Sat 09-Feb-19 08:49:11

It is nice to be appreciated annep1 acts of kindness are not done with this in mind just a simple "thank you for helping" is enough.
We have had recent experience of someone taking advantage RosieLeah doing small things led to bigger requests then complaints when things did not go as she wished. We will still help friends where we can though.

Sarahmob Sat 09-Feb-19 09:01:22

I know exactly what you mean. A couple who attend my church were getting married last year. I knew the budget was tight so offered to buy and make up bouquets for bride and her bridesmaid and buttonholes for groom and best man. I duly purchased flowers and prepared some pretty posies etc. To this day, neither the bride or groom have thanked me for the gift of time and money represented by the flowers. For weeks when I saw them at church I had a hard time in not tackling them about their lack of good manners. I wouldn’t offer my services to anyone else, I was hurt and angry now I’m just sad.

J52 Sat 09-Feb-19 09:53:53

Sarah how awful of them, no wonder you’re upset.
Next time you see them, I suggest you say something along the lines of,
“I’ve been meaning to ask you if you enjoyed the flowers for your wedding?”

It could be possible that they sent a written thank you, but it has been lost.

Nonnie Sat 09-Feb-19 10:24:19

There have always been 'giver's and 'takers' but I do think it is worse now than it used to be. It was the same at work, there were those who made a fuss about everything they did and those who just got on with the job and were never appreciated.

As I said on another thread nowadays people say 'me and xxx' whereas I was always taught it should be 'xxx and me'. I think the emphasis has changed to people putting themselves first more.

I would still help though, I like to feel I have done the right thing whether or not it is appreciated.

annep1 Sat 09-Feb-19 11:08:31

J52 thats what I was thinking. Perhaps first anniversary would be an opportunity to say something like One year married..its gone quickly ..I always meant to ask...
It's possible thank you got lost in post or they might be very embarrassed at forgetting and thank you.

M0nica Sat 09-Feb-19 11:12:24

No, it is not the way of the world. The world has always contained ill-mannered selfish people.

Parsley3 Sat 09-Feb-19 11:26:04

It is not the way of the World but if it happens to me then I do take note. I have given wedding gifts without receiving an acknowledgment on several occasions but on the other hand I have received lovely personal cards thanking me for baby presents.
I don’t expect thanks for helping someone out but it is nice to receive it. Unfortunately, I can’t be sure that I have never been remiss in thanking people when it was required. 🤭

jenpax Sat 09-Feb-19 11:33:01

Sometimes people don’t say thanks due to depression which can have awful effects on tbe sufferer. One of my DD suffers from intermittent bouts of “the black dog” and at these times will become very introverted and quite liable to forget the niceties of life! The rest of the time she is extremely well mannered and polite.
I realise that this is not always the reason and that sometimes it is just bad manners or entitled to people! But please be on the look out for mental health issues too in such situations

Nonnie Sat 09-Feb-19 11:39:16

Good point jenpax