the OP was not quite up to the linguistic task of subtle irony.....when something has to be explained......it's not quite hitting the mark.
That's it, Hilda.
In writing there is no clue.
We have so many weird and wonderful posts on here of late that this one seemed like a neurotic Granny who resented the implication her home was messy. Yes, the child was two, but haven't we had threads about toddlers making a mess, babies being sick on rugs etc?
By her own admission the OP said it she wanted to deliver it "dead pan" - long after she got responses to her being offended by a toddler. It didn't work. If you have to explain it, it isn't funny.
It really did need a 'wink' emoticon at the end. Storm in a tea cup though.