not to donate?

You did the right thing by not giving money. I’d put it behind you. Actually, even for legitimate charities etc., I feel I can decide what I want to give to...and sometimes resent being asked...it’s quite an intrusion.

I never give to chuggers or trips to ‘help’ except on one occasion when the person going had relevant useful qualifications and used them.

I never liked those orphanage/school/rescue centre trips which companies such as Saga always include in their tours until we went to the Amazon and visited a local school. We were asked to contribute money, not pens etc, and were delighted when, at the end of our visit, our guide produced small T shirts and small child sized machetes. Many of the children walked to school through the jungle without adults and these were of far more use than more pens, although the thought of five years olds wielding sharp machetes was a bit scary!

I blotted my copybook by refusing to contribute to a trip to America being taken by one of the GPs sons! There was no charitable involvement at all. I was the only staff member who didn’t contribute. Both parents were GPs so not short of a bob or two. The trip was costing more than our annual holiday for five!

What a cheek! This reminds me of a work colleague whose son was going to Morocco to "help out" with kids charities out there. I donated £20 and in the end he didn't go. Needless to say I never got my money back!

Every year for the last 10 years my eldest GS and I have spent a week at a Christian holiday camp, the last 5 years he has helped as a leader. The forms are out now for volunteers so I asked him if he had signed up. He said yes for this year but next year he was going to spend the summer at a summer camp as a volunteer. I asked how he was funding it and his reply - "I'm getting a job, and will save birthday and Christmas money!"
He is nearly 17 and isn't relying on his parents or others to fund him.
I will donate if I believe in the cause, like a GC sponsorship or nephew running a marathon for charity, but not for someone to take a holiday,

Haha henetha. If you get enough donations can I come with you?

I never give to anything which smacks of foreign aid as our government already donates £25 million a day to that cause, not counting what the EU ( which it looks like we'll never leave) also gives from our £50 million a day contribution.

If countries can afford space programs, nuclear weapons, wars and palaces etc. for their leaders then they can afford to feed, school and give medical aid to their people.

I only give to animal charities and occasionally UK medical charities although I feel, if our population was 10-20 million fewer, there would be enough from the public purse to fund them adequately.

Yes, I'd go for the pens and paper or other supplies that might be helpful. But absolutely NOT money. My grandson did something similar last year, post-GCSE, but was a month in the school helping out (before the adventure holiday, of course). He had a year to raise the funds by doing useful things, which had to be approved by his school and were a condition for taking part. He more-or-less achieved it, with a bit of top-up help from parents and grandparents but the school and family would have been aghast had he asked people for money for nothing.

You did the right thing. If they could have given mors details about the ;tour' then it may have been worth supporting, but which such vague responses it was best to say no.

I'm afraid that, in spite of upsetting the neighbours, I would have done a bit of 'plain speaking' about funding their holiday.
I have long since given up donating to large charities. In most cases a large slice of the money goes in wages, admin, or is stashed away in the bank instead of being used for the purpose stated. Many of them have £millions invested.
I mainly support small local charities, where I can see what is going on. They are run by volunteers, who give freely of their time - and usually their money too. As for sending children, at vast expense, to 'build a school'...words fail me! A small group of people from my church has raised money for a Kenyan school run by nuns, for many years. They started by raising enough for one classroom, and as a new age-group began each year they managed to gather enough money for extra rooms. There is now a complete school, fully equipped and staffed, and with toilet facilities. All built with local labour and materials, putting money into their local economy.

You are right to decline. There are other more worthy things to donate to. While on the subject, I will not donate to the Alzheimer Society which has not been going very long. The reason is that Dr Alzheimer described a disease which was quite different to senile dementia. He described a disease which strikes in middle age, around 40/50 and it is different, yet whenever the adverts appear they have photos of elderly people suffering from senile dementia which is quite different. I spent 7 years part time on the women's ward of a psychiatric hospital and the diseases are different, but nowadays 'Alzheimer's' sound better than 'senile dementia' and I think it is wrong, though of course both diseases are worthy of support. People are encouraged to leave something in their wills, but I think we have a right to know just what the money is spent on.

As many, including the op, have commented I too would not be prepared to contribute to what is essentially no more than an excuse for a fancy holiday.

But for some young people exposure to a different culture can lead to a lasting interest in volunteering either overseas or in this country. Please don’t jump on what I am about to say as “virtue signalling” about my own daughter. That is not my intention, though I will admit to being very proud of her! I simply want to show another perspective to young people travelling abroad.

One youngest daughter had the chance in the 90’s to help in a summer camp for children in a very deprived area of Romania. At 16 she was the youngest person in the team, led by a church youth worker, as parents we covered the cost of her trip. At 18 she went to South Africa, again the youngest in a team, on a trip organised by a well established charity. She spent 3 weeks helping demolish old buildings so that skilled labour could build a new school, as well as helping in a play scheme for orphaned children. There were a few days allocated for sight seeing at the end of the trip. This time earnings from her Saturday job and some help from family paid for her trip.

Fast forward several years and as a qualified physio she took a 6 month unpaid career break. She spent 6 months as a volunteer in Uganda using her professional skills to treat disabled children, again in projects supported by established charities. For this venture she was expected to fundraise to cover her costs for travel, accommodation and living expenses etc. She’d been saving hard to do this and felt uncomfortable asking for money so, apart from contributions from family and a few close friends, mainly used her own resources to fund her trip. Fast forward another few years and she has, at her own expense, visted Africa twice more for short trips volunteering with a menstrual health education project for young women.

Now in her late 30’s with mortgage commitments and a very demanding job, it’s becoming harder for her to volunteer in that way - she needs less demanding breaks these days! However I can’t imagine her ever losing the interest in overseas projects that was first sparked by the trip to Romania. So yes for some youngsters it’s no more than a bit of a “jolly” at others people’s expense but that’s not always the case.

Gosh, some people have a real cheek don't they OldWoman70 ? It defies belief.

I can go for a week's holiday at a Rest Home in Parua Bay, about 2 hours drive north from here.

Full board for 7 days would cost me $300 = £157. Cheap at twice the price but I haven't got anywhere near that amount of money. Nor ever likely to.

Cue violins : I haven't had a holiday of any kind in over 25 years.

Anyone want to donate to MY charity? Please make cheques payable to BradfordLass72

Here's the view from the bedroom window (the one I can't afford (sob).

You are not being unreasonable. Just refuse. The cheek of some people.

Lovely view BradfordLass
Thanks. I'd pay a few bob for a view like that.

It is relatively easy to raise money where there is a win win situation, e.g. make cakes and sell for profit - the maker makes some money, the purchaser buys a lovely homemade cake. Also, car washing, etc, etc. I am happy to contribute on that basis but am not usually willing to just pay out otherwise. Someone we knew was looking for contributions to a —holiday— fundraising trip to China!

20 yrs ago my daughter went to Kenya with a school trip. She did Silver service waitressing and with some other girls set up a sandwich service for school staff. She raised half, we put up the other half. Not a penny was wasted, she and the other girls worked like Trojans , decorating a school, helping lay irrigation pipes , and looking after department animals. She was always a lovely girl but , my god that trip paid dividends, she came back more compassionate, practical and self confident than we could ever have imagined.

Farm animals!

They learn valuable lessons that stay with them throughout their lives Nanna58, nothing quite like it is there. Lovely to hear about your daughters experience too.

The OP was right to decline contributing to a spoilt middle class kid's holiday.

Given the number of charities which pay their CEOs and boards far too much money and then spend many of their donations on political lobbying and money-raising campaigns it behoves the rest of us to do our due diligence before we contribute to their fat cat corruption.

However, there are many charities, often small, who do 'exactly what it says on the tin.' It would be a shame if the big, greedy boys put us off donating to those charities which waste no money and convert contributions into direct action.

My son works for a small charity (for a very moderate salary where he is one of only a couple of paid employees) where a huge amount of good is done for little or no money wasted.

I have since been told that I was not the only one not to donate. One person, not known for her tact, told the neighbour just what she thought of the idea!! I gather the parents are now reconsidering.

One of my dd's had a pre university gap year, which consisted of working for 6 months in temp office jobs - getting up on time, turning up on time - to pay for maybe 4 months of backpack travel round S America. So it certainly wasn't all holiday, and since Spanish was going to form part of her degree course, it was invaluable from that POV. Ditto the real-life work experience IMO.

Having said that, this was in the days before tuition fees became so expensive. I doubt that many would enjoy that relative luxury now, not unless parents were coughing up for everything.

I'll certainly pay half.
Perhsps someone else can match it.
No, I'm not joking.

My DD went on a sponsored cycle ride across Northern India in aid of a children's charity when she was a student. She had to raise enough money to cover the costs of the trip as well as quite a large donation to the charity. She held many fundraising events including pub quizzes, music evenings where her friends provided the entertainment and spent a day bag packing at the local supermarket. I think she contributed the flight costs from her own savings as she wanted most of the sponsorship money and fundraising to go to the charity. She did stay on at the end of the official trip and had a holiday with the others on the trip but that was entirely at her own expense. I think expecting others to simply pay for a family holiday where an odd day may be spent doing some meaningful charity work is a blooming cheek too.