Fallen out with a friend

Precisely.

Egaltine, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it....end of.

£500 on a break you don't want to go on with somebody who doesn't value you and frankly seems to have her own issues....... no way.

real friend fall over themselves trying to pay for everything OP isnt Sara

If you were really good friends, I don’t think this situation would have ever arisen. It sounds like she has very little consideration for you , she must know you dislike night driving, but expects you to make your own arrangements, real friend fall over themselves trying to pay for everything, not try and wriggle out of paying for anything.
I would never treat any of my friends so unkindly, and I’m quite sure, none of my friends would treat me like it

I dont understand your reply Callistemon, are you saying you can or cant tag on a weekend break to work trips and claim it all back? Sorry Im not reading the tone of the text

Interestingly, going back to one of your earlier posts, to stay with a friend and bring food would have been the ultimate insult to my mother.

Interesting, but also avoided with good communication from the offset, as you said yourself.

A straightforward "how do you want to do expenses like food/petrol?" opens the floor, and if they feel like their contribution is the accomodation that will quickly come to light, likewise if they are of the "you are our guest I wont hear of it" variety, then you will know to just be gracious and accept.

Ok, I’ll see if I can make peace but I still have to say I can’t afford it...

Time for a change then notanan
Actually, you could find a job which provides a private jet, even more convenient.

Callistemon, you get free weekend trips as well as actual work expenses on your employer too? Wow I REALLY picked the wrong job!

I wouldn’t go alone notanan. The whole point for me was to spend some time with her. To be honest even the cost of the break as it was suggested stretched my finances. I think my vision was three days of pasta!

Interestingly, going back to one of your earlier posts, to stay with a friend and bring food would have been the ultimate insult to my mother.

Well there’s a lesson learned. That is if anyone ever asks me again.........

We just had a quote.

and it would not be on expenses.
so it's the bus for us.

*Good grief, it gets worse.
This is not a fortnight's holiday, it's a three day trip!
private car to the airport??*

This would not be on expenses.

It was a suggestion to the OP about how she can use her flights by switching plans & doing a solo trip!

As I say, "private car" SOUNDS extravagant so people often dont even get quotes, but it can actually work out cheaper than other methods of airport transport.

Maybe I should have a career change then!

Its not how it works in my field. Expenses all have to be accounted for!

I suspect that you have simply got crossed wires. If your friend is having to pay for the extra three nights accommodation, then I would have expected to pay half or, pay for the meals. As for ‘doing your own thing’ during the day, I would expect your friend to be spending time with you, not leaving you on your own, having invited you for the weekend. I would have thought it reasonable for you to think you would be spending the days together. These are all things that should have been agreed long before you agreed to go and had paid for your flight. As for the birthday with her husband, she should have remembered that but, if she apologised, I suppose that is reasonable. I don’t see how you have spoiled her holiday if she was not expecting to spend time with you.
Where you go from here depends on how much you value your friendship.

Good grief, it gets worse.
This is not a fortnight's holiday, it's a three day trip!
private car to the airport??

This would not be on expenses.

I work in the field of finance notanan. That's how I know.

Why? Eglantine has explained that she doesn't drive at night, would have to stay overnight near the airport etc etc.

How odd to encourage her to go and perhaps bump into the friend at a café or tourist spot.

Also look into private car/driver to take you to the airport.

Sounds extravagant but can actually sometimes work out cheaper than public transport or parking or airport hotels so get some door to door quotes before you give up on the flights/trip.

Places like Rome are ideal for solo trips as you wont be bored or feel alone

Chewbacca what field do you work in? Intrigued @ all these posters who donf have to itemise/account for all the expenses they claim.

I think the friend doesnt want you to go any mors anyway and rather than say so outright has just made it logistically difficult, which is wrong. But sounds like communication was always a bit lacking in the friendship anyway.

OP look into bootstap trip ways to use your flights. Convents can provide very cheap lodgings for people who dont like hostel environments. Also university halls outside of term time.

Look into it. There may be very cheap ways to usd your flights anyway and do your own thing

The alternative OP is to find budget/hostel accomodation and do a solo "on a boot strap" trip with the flights you booked?

It probably would have been better if the cost of meals, drinks and airport transfers had been discussed right from the outset Eglantine but the fact that itwasnt, is as much as fault as yours. If it mattered that much to her, she should have laid her cards on the table right from the start. As it is, it appears that your "friend" was hoping to have her flights, airport transfer and accommodation all paid for by work and you pay for all the meals. I don't believe for one minute that the 3 holiday nights won't be chalked up to expenses; she won't be out of pocket at all for that. The only reason that I can see for her being upset is because she'll have to put her own hand in her pocket and pay for her meals for 3 days and she won't be able to claim those back on expenses. Tough.

notanan I don't agree with you view at all.

I think you have been completely used! Tell her where to stick her holiday! You don’t need friends like that!

It could, of course, be this woman's own business and she could offset the lot against tax notanan

We also have a family business and there are limits to what you can claim back without putting yourself on shakey ground.

I think I would have been taken aback at the change in arrangements, especially at the additional cost of getting to the airport. Sharing at least some of the expenses when you got there is another matter.
If a so-called friend did that to me I'd be quite upset. I think this friend should have made all the arrangements clear at the beginning and if they needed to be changed should have talked it over with you.

It could, of course, be this woman's own business and she could offset the lot against tax notanan